Picking Up Girls With A Platonic Lady Friend Wingman

Time for another reader question…

I have an extremely good female friend (platonic — who i’m not physically interested in ) — but I love hanging out with her, but usually leave her home when I’m going to go do pick-up. Whenever I bring her out, I feel like she kills my game; either because I’d rather hang out with her than most of the dumb girls I meet, or most girls just assume she’s my girlfriend. Is there a better way to play this? She has a very beginners knowledge of pick-up stuff that I’ve told her, and is conventionally attractive. I don’t want to her use her in anyway that would be weird later on — if i started dating some girl i picked up — since i would want the new girl to hang out with my friends.

So far the only way I’ve made this work — is when i was out with her + other friends, saw a girl across the bar that I had picked up the week before, and made her go over — make friends with the new girl (”randomly”) — then acted like it was a coincidence later on (oh my god — you’re friends with so and so too?)

Any ideas?

My Answer:

You answered your own question. Cut her loose. Hang out with her once every two weeks at most. I had the same problem, hanging out with three lady friends. With them i felt like they were watching and judging me. Eventually I ditched them and got some guy friends and had a lot more success. Knowing girls, she will give you slight cutting remarks that discourage you and plus you won’t be able to go balls out because you will wonder what she thinks. Pick up is hard enough—you don’t need that on your shoulder.

I’m sure you can somehow introduce her into your game to help, but she won’t help you more than with a proper wingman. Lady friends kill game.

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Hitting On A Girl At Work

Here’s a reader question about getting with a girl at work:

I recently picked up your book due to a friend telling me about it and your blog. I especially enjoyed the book since it was to the point unlike some of the other “game” books out there. I look forward to your next book and will purchase it if you plan on putting another book out. I am writing to you to ask you some questions, some advice and to get an outside opinion on my current situation.

I met this girl at work a few months ago by teasing her, etc. (calling her mopey since she never seems to smile at work, accusing her of being 30 when she isn’t, etc.) This girl is sort of quiet/introverted and at work, she doesn’t really talk to anyone outside of me. So the past few months, we’ve gone to lunch a lot with each other, etc. and sent each other bullshit emails, talked about some personal stuff like family, etc. So it seemed we had a good rapport we each other. Well in late June, I find out that she got engaged since I saw a ring on her ring finger. I call her out on it and she says nonchalantly that she got engaged but sort of changes the subject.

I was sort of surprised at this because girls always talk about their ring, etc. when they get engaged. For some reason, she seemed to never tell me about a bf/fiancee even though other coworkers have asked her about it. Coming back from lunch (before she got engaged) one time, I mentioned if she had any plans for the weekend outside of washing her hair (said in a sarcastic manner) and bought up doing something with a bf, etc. Big mistake there on my part. She didn’t answer that question and just ignored it and had a pissed off look on her face.

I guess you are wondering where I’m getting the idea that I think she might be interested in me. An example would be her asking me if I would ever go to Ohio (where she’s from) a few times and on my birthday which was on July 10, she being all excited than I was that it was my birthday and buying me lunch. I’ve teased her other times before and gave her ultimatums like “If I train you on this, you have to buy me lunch.” or “If I tell you about how I learned about embassy parties, you have to buy me lunch.” She always says no, but ends up buying me lunch anyhow when we go to lunch together. I don’t really care about getting a free lunch but was really surprised that the teasing actually resulted in her buying me a lunch. I just find it weird that a girl with a bf/fiancee would be buying lunches for some other dude, that’s all.

At lunch on my birthday, she asked me what I had planned for that night and I sort of was vague and just mentioned that I was having a nice birthday dinner. She kept trying to find out details about it, etc. but I wanted to keep the mystery since I know girls love that type of nonsense. Here is an an reply email I got from her on my birthday when I forwarded her a work related email: “Thanks for all of your help! I hope you have a great time tonight! Happy Birthday! Thanks for having lunch with me! “It’s possible I might be reading into these things a bit much and hence why I need your outside opinion.

I guess another problem is that I feel maybe she might be using me for the attention since she’s probably not used to it since she’s shy/introverted. Hence, why I have these mixed feelings about the situation. But then I wonder if maybe there’s something there since she never talks about her fiancee in my presence even though she just got engaged. I even brought up her wedding next year, and she talked about it in a neutral manner.

Another thing is that last week, I had to stay late for a work related project and she stayed late to help me out also. I told her that she didn’t have to but she did anyway without complaint. And the next day, she said if I needed any more help that she would stay late again. We were at work till 8pm for that day we stayed late. Of course, I didn’t make a move and wasn’t sure if I should have. Do you have any advice on that? I’ve had one other friend tell me that I should try to figure her out at a future company happy hour since alcohol would be involved, but I figured I would seek your advice.

I apologize for the long winded email since I know you probably get hundreds of these. I would just like to seek your advice on this situation and see how I can get her to dump her fiancee (they’ve been only been together for a year and a half from what I’ve heard) and what I need to do to win her. I guess you can say I like the challenge of doing this instead of forgetting about her and going after some other girl. I appreciate your sage like advice and look forward to your reply.

Thanks

My Answer:

Why does it matter if there’s something “there” or not? It’s not your job to analyze her attraction for you by dissecting every little sign. Your job is to isolate her and advance, which you have not done! That’s the only way to find out. If you like her and want to have sex with her, whether she is engaged or not, simply ask her out for drinks after work. Drink with her, tease her some more, touch some more, and then when she feels like no one is watching (since she is engaged), go in for the kiss. If she rejects you then who cares! Otherwise you’ll get some action out of it. You’re making this way more difficult than it needs to be.

Making a move is not dependent on how she feels about you, since you will never be sure. All that matters is if you want to and if you can get her isolated. Stop thinking and start doing. Good luck.

The whole point of the game, besides some cheap thrills in the sack, is to find the quality girl you deserve instead of having to settle like most guys do. The reason you are reading this right now is because you believe the path lies in game. If you're looking to possess the whole package, from the right inner game all the way to successful dates that end in sex, check out my book Bang. It's a one-stop shop for the most important things you need to know. Click here to learn more...

How To Date A Girl Who Has More Relationship Experience Than You

Here’s another reader question:

I’ve been dating a girl for 5 months. We get along really well for the most part, but there’s always been one aspect of our relationship that has bothered me. She’s 21 (2 years younger than me, I’m 23) and she’s been in 4 serious relationships. This is basically my first.

1) I used to work on the campus humor magazine with her last boyfriend, and I know him kind of well. I only ever knew him in that setting, though, and I had never met this girl while they were dating. The thing is, I saw this dude out at bars one night in like October and he told me the details of him hooking up with her (her being my now girlfriend) a few nights earlier (they were broken up at the time). So I know that they broke up in October and they hooked up afterwards. Just kinda weird. She still hangs out with his friends a lot, too.

2) It’s just weird to think that she has been in so many serious relationships. It’s one thing to think of a girl that has slept with tons of guys but never really “loved” any of them — but at the age of 21 I’m the 4th dude this girl has been in a serious relationship with. It really makes me feel strange, and I constantly think about her doing the “relationship” stuff that we do together with other people.

For some reason today I decided to click through her wall post history on her facebook profile, and I come across all of these messages that ex-boyfriends had written that were almost the exact same stuff I write now. Stuff like, “good luck on your test, babe! love you!”. Shit like that.

I know I’m being insecure, but is this something I should let go and forget about? Because it’s honestly something that really irritates me and makes me question our relationship. I know that I won’t be able to ever avoid this with girls unless I date women that have never been in a relationship, but sometimes I feel like, at this point in my life, maybe I should be with someone who has about the same “serious relationship” experience that I do — none.

If this truly bothers me, does just trying to not think about it work? Or is it something I should just accept is going to feel weird?

My Answer:

You have two options:

1. Dump this girl and find one you are compatible with who has zero relationship experience.

2. Deal with your insecurities.

If she is not doing anything wrong with her behavior and you like her, the problem you are describing to me only exists in your head.

Imagine being my age when girls not only have tons of banging experience but tons of relationship experience as well. I’m getting girls after a LONG line of guys have already rode them hard, both physically and emotionally. The only thing that matters when I’m around a girl is if I like her company and if she meets my needs — the past is completely irrelevant.

You’re going to have to get over it. Resist seeking out knowledge of her history because there is nothing about her past that will make you like her more. Whenever a girl starts telling me about her past dating/relationship history, I tell her to shut up because I know that knowing will stir up those weird feelings you are experiencing. Still, I imagine if you let these feelings take over, the relationship will be damaged. Suck it up and know that whatever experience she has or guy she has been with, she is now with you.

The whole point of the game, besides some cheap thrills in the sack, is to find the quality girl you deserve instead of having to settle like most guys do. The reason you are reading this right now is because you believe the path lies in game. If you're looking to possess the whole package, from the right inner game all the way to successful dates that end in sex, check out my book Bang. It's a one-stop shop for the most important things you need to know. Click here to learn more...

Trying To Pick Up Girls In A Spanish Hostel

Here’s a reader question:

Hey man, I remembered you had a section on your trip through Spain and I just read it. I´m in Valencia right now and leaving for Barcelona tomorrow. The hostel is definitely a unique experience. I´ve met more people the last week then I think I ever have in a single week. I´m getting a good feel for how things work and the first 3 nights things worked out awesome in Madrid. Next 2 nights in Sevilla were kinda tame but I think you must have caught some bad timing there because every girl I saw was amazing, all were very fit, tan and cute. Seville the hostel was small, kinda crappy and had no in-hostel bar so it was a hard launch point for extracurricular activities. I´ve just spent 2 nights in Valencia. I´ve talked to many hot girls here.

I have noticed a somewhere disturbing trend however. For example there were 3 beautiful girls coming down the steps when they passed i smiled and one smiled back. They were all dressed to go out and I saw them sitting around looking at each other in the bar/lounge area. I approached them and asked if they were gonna go out or just sit around all night to find out they speak very little english. I broke out my spanish (decent) and found they were all from Seville and very friendly.

They were going to go out with an amigo of one of the girls that lives here to dinner (at about 11pm) and were waiting for him. I walked outside with them to see if his taxi had arrived after a few and all of the sudden 2-3 other guys walked up and were immediately gaming their asses off. The trend I noticed is me initiating with girls then all the apparently apprehensive guys jump in with their best game. My game is not all that but I´m not afraid to try.

One of the bolder guys immediately said (let your friend go with her amigo, you 2 should come with me to go out and drink) he then wound up giving them his number and said to call him after dinner. I said a nice goodbye to them and wished them well on their trip.

Any better way I could have handled this? They told me where they were going later but from what I´ve learned on this trip so far is if you dont take girls immediately and leave it at maybe we´ll hangout later it doesnt happen. Thats what i´ve been doing with some girls more of (hey what are you up to tonight? them: not sure, you ? me: not sure, if you´re gonna be around the hostel ill find you later) kinda lame, but what else can i do when its still way too early? The trip is amazing so far but I think i´m getting really caught up on getting with girls and its frustrating when it doesnt always work out.

My Answer:

You need to get a lot more persistent that that! You gotta push all the way and fight through barriers until you get a “no” when you try to escalate the encounter. It seems like you are giving up way too early just cause things got a little hairy.

The other dudes are your competition in this game. So out-game them! From your example, that guy’s game was pretty weak because he gave his phone number. (Giving your phone number to a girl is a dumb move because it rarely converts.)

Since you are traveling, there is none of that phone/email stuff. You go for the kiss, and then you go for the bang… ON THE SAME NIGHT. THERE IS NO DAY TWO. So its all or nothing, meaning you can be much more persistent than you would at home, even at the risk of seeming *a little* pushy.

When traveling i found that the guys who got the girls were the ones who would make a confident showing, last the longest, and just scoop her up towards the end of the night. Persistence is crucial when you are going for these same night closes. Pick a girl, game her, and if she is feeling you, 100% YOU MUST GO FOR THE KISS… much sooner than you would here.

Don’t email me back unless its a success story or how you got brutally rejection.

Approaching is the hardest part of the game. Unless you know what you are doing it will take hundreds of tries to get master it through trial and error (I should know because that's how I learned). If you're working on your approaching skills then check out my book Bang, which tells you how to do it from start to end. Click here to learn more...