The Best Time To Approach A Girl

Sometimes there is the question of when you should approach a girl you’re attracted to.

How about if you just came into the bar, still have your coat on, and see a girl you like. Should you approach or wait? How about if SHE just came in the bar and didn’t even get her first drink yet. Should you approach or wait? How about if she is on her way to the bathroom, holding hands with her girlfriend. Should you approach or wait?

I don’t have 100% correct answers to these types of situations, but I do know that there will ALWAYS be a better time to approach a girl. You can always be in a better mood, you can be more “on,” the environment could be quieter, or she could be standing alone simply looking around for any guy to talk to her.

The thing that’s more important than picking the right time to talk to a girl is simple TALKING TO THE GIRL.

If you sit there thinking about if you should talk to her, and then end up not even trying, then it didn’t really matter did it? There is the “best” time and then there is “opportunity.” If you see an opportunity with a girl who, for example, is going to the bathroom and you’re standing in her path, then you should open your mouth and say something because I bet you the best time to approach her will not happen before the night is out.

Besides, if there was a bar or club where the best situation always happened and girls were extremely approachable, it’d be filled with guys pretty quickly.

As long as you open your mouth and say something, you’re halfway there. Okay maybe not halfway but approaching really is the hardest part of the game, and the more you THINK about approaching, the less you’ll DO it.

The truth is that most guys have never approached a girl in their life.

Imagine that for a second. (If you’re one of those guys then you don’t have to imagine.)

They have never walked up to a girl they liked and talked to her. So the only girls they meet are from friends or the mediocre girls that approach them first.

And even when they meet girls, they have no idea how to build attraction and take things to the next level. If the girl does it for them, then great, but if not then back to PornHub (a site I’m not bashing, but just saying).

That was me, and I got tired of watching a small percentage of guys get most of the women while I begged for scraps. I put myself on a mission to be THAT GUY, the one who you see in a bar and hate because he’s getting girls even though he has average looks and dresses like a bum with t-shirts his little sister bought for him years ago (true story).

After I became that guy, I wrote how to do it in Bang. But this is no easy fix because I’m not selling you snake oil or pig pheromones. You will not see a magic transformation in just one weekend. Instead it will take quite a bit of work on your part to get to the point where you can approach girls and take them home on the same night. Still, if you apply my teachings I think in two months time you will see a noticeable improvement.

All I can offer you is the knowledge to make it happen, and it’ll be up to you to practice it until you become “that guy” yourself. Click here to read full-length sample pages of Bang.

How To Get Laid While Traveling

The assumption a lot of guys make about girls is that they all respond the same, that game is game and things should work regardless of where the girl is from. This is what I believed when I exported my “Western game” to South America, but after six months my results were meager and much less than I was getting in the States.

Let me share with you six quick tips that will help you score while on the road…

1. DO YOUR RESEARCH. Before you board the plane, ask your wingmen if they’ve had experiences with girls from that country. When you arrive, make friends with the local guys and ask them for their opinions on the girls. Or go on my travel forum and do a search on the country you want to visit. What you want to do is take some notes to study from before you take the “exam.”

2. ADAPT. On a two week vacation, you simply don’t have the time to learn a new game, but you do have time to make easy adjustments that affect how the locals respond to you.

For example in Peru, the more you look like a gringo (think Abercrombie & Fitch), the better you’ll do with the girls in the club, so leave the Ecuadorian soccer jersey at home. In Argentina the kiss is a big deal, so delay your kiss attempt longer than usual so you don’t get blown out early.

3. APPROACH IN MASSIVE NUMBERS. The big myth of traveling is that you will get more abroad than you do at home, but with so many obstacles (no cell phone, no pad, no wingmen, language barrier, lack of venue knowledge, and so on), the only way to make up for them is to approach a lot more than you normally do.

With a large percentage of girls closed off to having sex with a gringo who is only in town for a weekend, sometimes you need to just keep going until you find a slutty girl who speaks your language. It’ll probably take a lot more energy than you’re used to at home.

4. PUT IN THAT QUALITY TIME. One night stands with American, English, Irish, and Australian girls aren’t a problem because they are the easiest in the world. There are some exceptions, but keep in mind you may need to put in more face time with a local until you bang. Don’t get discouraged if she doesn’t put out on the first date and simply keep going as long as you’re getting closer to sex on each date.

5. TAKE IT EASY ON THE ALCOHOL. While at home you’re mostly on auto-pilot at bars you know with wingmen you trust, but when you’re abroad you need that extra energy because of the increased number of approaches you’ll have to do. Therefore it’s far better to pound Red Bull than a six-pack of beer.

6. BE THE LIFE OF THE PARTY. When you can’t communicate with words, let your fun nature and vibe do all the talking. Dance with her, smile, touch, and genuinely have a good time. Positive energy is an aphrodisiac that girls are drawn into.

Understand: if you can get laid with pretty girls who barely speak your language then there aren’t many challenges you can’t face. Banging abroad is one of the most worthiest tests of your game.

The reason I was able to learn how to pick up in a different country is because of my willingness to experiment and try new things just to see what happens. It took me six years of experimenting at home with American girls until the result was an optimized game system that worked more often than not.

Before that I was your typical nice guy who was the “emotional tampon” of girls I liked. I’m not sure why I thought it was a good idea to be friends first with girls but turns out a lot of guys have that “strategy.” Unfortunately it simply doesn’t work.

After college you have a lot of guys working their ass off to get that fancy business card with the important job title. But what a rude surprise when they find out that doesn’t work either! Girls don’t care about your job or your bank account if you don’t have the right game to back it up.

In my book Bang I teach you the correct strategy to go from meet to bedroom in the shortest amount of time with girls that you actually like, instead of the below-average ones who like you. We’re not going to brag about our job or luxury condo or anything like that. Instead we’re going to use my conversational strategy and dozens of little tricks that work. It’s a system I still use today.

I’m confident that Bang will put your a lot closer to picking up girls you like, both regularly and consistency. Click here to read sample pages.

How To Balance Between Compliments & Insults

The following excerpt from Bang discusses the middle ground between compliments and insults…

The opposite of a compliment is an insult, something you should also avoid. If you had a linear scale with a compliment on one end being a 1 and an insult on the other end being a 10, some of the material you’ve read so far reach into the 6 range. Their purpose is to let a girl know that you are not impressed with her, even if below the surface you really are. The more you show her you’re impressed, the more likely she will perceive her value as being too high for you. Sex withholding follows as a result.

While saying “You’re too old for me” may seem like an insult on the surface, it is taken as a joke when you have already established a fun and playful vibe. Context here is important: if you were talking about something boring like politics all night and then all of a sudden you tell her she’s too old for you, she will get offended. But if you were already joking around with her for a while, she’ll know that it’s just a part of your personality.

Regardless, some girls will get insulted by your humor and think, “Who does this guy think he is?” While I don’t apologize to any girl who takes my humor wrong, I definitely don’t continue to push her buttons once she is already upset. To me her annoyance is either a sign of incompatibility or a bad line on my part. Did I accidentally say the wrong thing or did she get offended at a line that girls normally respond well to? I make a judgment call if this interaction can be saved or if there is another girl around that my time could be better spent with. Because trying to convince her that you were joking is a form of beta male supplication, it’s best to move on if your material is poorly received. The goal of material in the middle of our compliment-insult scale is to make her aware of her own faults instead of yours. Once the focus is taken off you, she will be much more susceptible to game.

The last two sentences are very important. Solid game makes the girl look inward to her own faults or lacks. Your backhanded compliments and teasing takes the focus off your uneven chin, odd mannerisms, and balding scalp. If you have a rather large deformity then your game has to be that much more potent to compensate for the flaw.

Unfortunately you can’t just go around insulting girls, which is what a lot of guys do after they read books like The Game, where the “neg” was heavily featured. You can study negs all day and night but you’ll still fuck it up every time with the wrong tone or body language. It’s better to avoid its use until you get to an advanced Matrix-like level of game, but by then you probably won’t even need to use them. Focus on material on the “6 range” like I explain above. I give tons of examples in my book.

Speaking of my book, here’s a recent email I received about it…

How’s it going man? I recently put together enough money to buy Bang and I have to say it was not only worth every penny, but more. I don’t usually say shit like this (especially about things I have to pay for). I bought David DeAngelo’s DoubleYourDating eBook a few years back and I have to say that Bang BLEW IT AWAY. You can use this as a testimonial if you want. Oh, I have also read Swingcatt’s eBook and I not only had more laughs and a better time reading Bang, but I found it more useful and my game is doing so much better. I like your approach to the field, you put things simply in a way that I can understand. However, you use advanced tactics like DeAngelo and Swingcatt, but explain it on a step by step basis with examples to real life events and situations. I can’t thank you enough.

If you haven’t yet bought Bang, check out its homepage and read a couple sample pages.

Example Of Really Bad Approach Strategy

Here’s an email I received recently…

Roosh

Recently, ive been testing out a new approach and getting sporadic results. im in israel for the summer and am seriously intent on hooking up with israeli girls. I simply approach a girl and ask her in poor, pathetic hebrew (even though im almost fluent) for her advice. I tell her im looking for a cute, sweet israeli but have only found skanks. I ask if she can offer any advice. This worked on a waitress and i went out with her a couple times. other girls are simply not feeling it.

How would u suggest i tighten/tweak this approach? Do u think its better to begin the conversation in english and then transition to hebrew?

My Answer:

Your opener sucks. Why would you be trashing “skanks” to girls you want to have fast sex with? It decreases attraction instead of building it. Tease and use humor and instead.

“Hi how are you. Do you know a good place where I can get _______?” Ask for some food, good hummus, whatever.

She’ll answer. Then you say…

“Also by the way i’m here for a short time. I’m looking for a nice wife…. can you maybe lead me to the right coffee shop where I can find one?” Then you smile so she knows you are joking.

She’ll laugh and you say, “No i’m just kidding but i don’t know many people here. This city is interesting though…”

Then ramble from there. Try a couple approaches in bad Hebrew and a couple in English to see which works better. Work off that and don’t email me back until you get some action.

Approaching is the hardest part of the game. There is nothing natural or easy about walking up to a girl you don't know and talking to her in a way that makes her laugh, builds attraction, and ends with her giving you her phone number.

After approaching hundreds of different girls with all types of openers, I finally settled on two that are my "defaults," meaning they are powerful enough that I can use them regardless of the girl or the environment. I share them in my book Bang, along with others you can use for bars, clubs, daytime spots, and even the gym. It has 64 pages on Early Game that focus exclusively on the approach and what to say immediately after. I share dozens of conversation tips with tons of word-for-word examples, and I also teach you the concept of threads to keep the interaction going without having awkward silences.

You can take the time to make up openers on your own, experimenting over the next several months, or you can learn mine and get started using something that works off the bat. If you want to learn my favorite natural openers that are easy to use and actually work, click here to learn more about my book Bang today.