As you probably already know, being good at getting laid requires a cocktail of skills. You can’t just memorize a bunch of one-liners and expect to see meaningful results. You can’t lean hard on your inner game alone, not approach, and wait for girls to line up outside your apartment. And, of course, a pile of phone numbers is useless without some good text game. The reality is that you need to work on several areas at once, advancing each when you sense that one is falling behind or keeping you from getting to that next level.
An often-neglected part of that is optimizing your look. A lot of guys with serviceable game, as well as the killer instinct to deploy it, hold themselves back by not looking their best. One great thing about being a man is that looking good isn’t nearly as complicated as it is for girls. A basic understanding of fashion, your own physique, and your physical shortcomings can take you a long way. Even if you have average looks, an optimized look can make a world of difference. What’s more, because game is a feedback loop, looking good improves your overall confidence; the consequent swagger encourages more approaches; and more approaches improve your game.
Nice, stylish clothes that suit you are worth their weight in gold, but even if your whole closet is from Target, there are still things you can spend your money on to make yourself look better.
Good Face Wash and Lotion: $15-20
I’m surprised at the number of guys who walk around with dry-looking or greasy faces. Sure, you’re a man, but you’re not homeless. A healthy looking complexion can do a lot for making the panties wet—especially when a girl gets close enough to examine it or feel it. Every guy is different: maybe you sport a rugged, bearded face, or you may have a (relatively hairless) baby-face. But, whatever the case, you should at least wash and moisturize your face properly. Harsh soaps and bad shaves are often behind a lot of nasty skin problems. Go to your local “natural” beauty supply place—they all have men’s sections nowadays—or even your local drugstore, and buy a gentle cleanser and face moisturizer for your mug.
Whitening Toothpaste: $5
I’m not sure if this is a product of the Starbucks milkshake epidemic, but it seems like more and more people are walking around with brown or discolored teeth these days. I even see cute, young girls with rainbowed teeth. This is shocking, considering the number of teeth whitening products out there. I don’t recommend you go out a blast your teeth to glow-in-the-dark white with harsh bleaching agents, but it wouldn’t hurt to use a mildly whitening, national-brand toothpaste periodically. After drinking coffee or tea, rinse your mouth by swishing some clean water in your mouth. It makes a big difference. Just leave a little coffee in a white mug for few hours to see what coffee does to your teeth.
A Decent Haircut: $25-30
Nothing screams lame louder than a shitty, little-kid haircut. Still, the number of guys walking around with an unstylish cut is astounding. You don’t need to go out and spend a king’s ransom on a designer style, but look for one of these hipster barbershops that are popping up everywhere. They’re not dirt-cheap, but are still reasonably priced. Sit back and watch which of the stylists is giving a cool cut to a man and choose that person. Don’t be afraid to ask your stylist what a good cut for you would be.
Hemming Your Jeans: $12-15
Whether your jeans are a crappy, squarish pair from Wal-Mart or an expensive pair you paid good money for, none of that matters if they’re dragging on the ground or are bagging up at the bottom because they’re too long for you. Decent tailors are a dying breed, but they still exist in nearly every major city. Bring your best stuff to a real tailor (not the dry cleaners) and get them altered. You can also have jackets or shirts fixed. The right fit goes a long way.
A Good Workout Book: $15-25
At the end of the day, nothing is going to make you look and feel better than being in good physical shape. The problem is that most guys know very little about exercising properly. If you’ve been to a gym more than once, you know exactly what I mean—you’ll see guys do the craziest things, like swinging a dumbbell over their heads like a lasso. If you’re straight-up overweight, you need to start with improving your diet. But, if you’re merely out of shape, weak-looking, or suffering from serious muscle imbalance, you need a good exercise program. I like Starting Strength, but look around for one that is well-rated online and suits your lifestyle and, most importantly, follow it.
Optimizing your look is an on-going process that you should be revisiting regularly. But these basic steps are a good place to start.
After much delay, I’m happy to release my day game book. It addresses a major weakness of my previous game book Bang, which is teaching men how to approach women during the day.
Day Bang is a 201-page book that teaches you how to game women during the day, primarily in a coffee shop, clothing store, bookstore, grocery store, subway, or on the street. It contains 51 openers, 23 long dialogue examples with commentary, and dozens of additional lines that teach by example.
Day Bang includes…
- The optimal day game mindset that leads to the most amount of success
- An easy mental trick to prevent your brain from going into a flight-or-fight response when it’s time to approach a woman you’re attracted to
- A detailed breakdown of how to use the “elderly opener,” an easy style of approach that reliably starts conversations with women
- 2 ways to tell if a girl will be receptive to your approach
- How to avoid the dreaded “interview vibe”
- 10 common mistakes guys make that hurt their chances of getting a number
Day Bang shares tons of tips and real examples on having successful conversations. It teaches you…
- How to use my bait system to get the girl engaged and interested in you
- How to segue out of the initial opening topic into a more personal chat where you’ll get to know the girl on a deeper level
- How to take the interesting things you’ve done (your accomplishments, hobbies, and experiences) and morph them into bait hooks that gets the girl intrigued enough to want to go out with you
- My “Galnuc” method to seamlessly get a girl’s number
- An easy hack at the end of your interactions that will reduce the chance of a flake and prime the girl for going out with you
- Ways to open up a conversation on a girl who isn’t giving you much to work with
Day Bang goes into painstaking detail on how to approach women in a variety of common environments…
- How to open a girl in coffee shops when she has a book, laptop, mp3 player, cell phone, research paper, crossword or Sudoku puzzle, or nothing at all
- Two methods for approaching a girl on the street, depending on if she’s moving or not, with a diagram to explain all the approach variations
- How to approach in a retail store or mall environment, with openers to use on customers or sales clerks
- How to approach in bookstores, with specific tips on how to customize your approaches in the cafe, magazine section, or general book aisles
- How to meet women in public transportation, on both the bus and subway
- How to meet women in grocery stores
- How to approach girls in secondary venues like a beach, casino, concert, gym, hair salon, handicraft fair, museum, art show, park, public square, or wine festival
Dozens of additional topics are logically organized into 12 chapters…
- Preparation. How to reduce your approach anxiety
- Opening. How to deliver your opener in a way that doesn’t scare women away
- Rambling. How to have conversations that make women interested in you
- Closing. How to get a number in a way that reduces the chance she’ll flake
- The Coffee Shop. How to hit on girls in coffee shops and cafes
- The Street. How to hit on girls outdoors
- The Clothing Shop. How to hit on girls in retail shops, malls, and big box stores
- The Bookstore. How to hit on girls in bookstores
- Public Transportation. How to hit on girls in the bus, subway, or long distance transportation
- The Grocery Store. How to hit on girls in grocery stores
- Other Venues. How to hit on girls just about anywhere else women can be found
- Putting It All Together. How to maximize your day game potential
The lessons taught in this 75,000 word, no-fluff textbook will help you meet women during the day. If you need tips on what to do after getting her number, consult my other book Bang, which contains an A-to-Z banging strategy. Day Bang focuses exclusively on daytime approaching.
Here’s a review by a reader who won a pre-release copy:
I was really excited to finally read Roosh’s take on day game. (That’s why I hit refresh about 1,000 times while trying to win it in the forum contest a few weeks back.) I was introduced to the concept by reading some of Jeremy Soul’s stuff from Love Systems, and I’ve loved reading Krauser’s uber-alpha take on it. It’s funny though, as both of them focus on approaching much the same way you do in night game: walk around, see a target you like, and then go open her.
I tried it out for a bit and found decent success, but it seemed so forced, much like the whole Mystery Method of night game. I don’t have the best game at night, but mostly my game is predicated on setting up what appears to be random bumps/introductions/questions, etc. As a result, it seems just entirely natural, and I’ve had many girls say that to me in bed afterwards, that they liked how I didn’t try to game them – it just naturally happened (which is, of course, not true).
I didn’t know what to expect from Roosh on this topic, but I’m already a big fan of his. His approach to game seems the least contrived of anyone out there. And after reading Day Bang, he cements his position as the guru for normal people. It is a method/philosophy that fits me like a glove.
I’ve always been an outgoing person, so the concept of the elderly ramble was not only hilarious, but something pretty close to what I do on a regular basis. But seeing it codified really hit home. Roosh focuses much more on situational encounters than the street game so favored by others, and again, it just seems so much more natural. If I had to summarize Day Bang in one sentence, it would be “Day Game for Actual Humans”.
I could really go on at length, but the book is worth it even if just for getting to understand the idea of the elderly ramble or to internalize the metaphor of girls as cats during the day (Every day when I’m walking around the city, my head keeps saying “Don’t scare the cat.”). At its core, he gives simple rules like this to keep in your head until they become unconscious behaviors. The first half of the book is basics like this, which culminates in “Galnuc”. At first, I had no idea what that meant either – but after he explains it, it’s like every other one of his concepts. A simple explanation and map for a reality you already knew existed but couldn’t describe. Seriously, between the ramble, don’t scare the cat and Galnuc – that’s like 80% of the battle. And since I can internalize that quickly, I can begin to live in the moment, instead of focusing on mechanics.
I think this is Roosh’s best gift. He’s explaining simple fundamentals – things that no longer need explaining to him, as he has progressed well past them – however, despite his distance from such a beginner’s mindset, he’s able to lay out the structure in such clear and relaxed language. There’s none of that boot-camp “Approach 1,000 women now, private!” bullshit, just some of the best writing style in all of the game community. It never feels like he’s writing a book or talking from on high about how things have to be; you really don’t feel his ego coming through the pages like you do with other game writers.
The book concludes with just a ton of information on how to succeed in some particular locations. From simple tips – to full-on diagrams of coffee shops and more. The breakdowns of each place let you begin to see how he thinks, and that is the type of learning that builds you into a more complete man instead of a robot with lines.
Somehow, Day Bang wasn’t at all what I was expecting. I had gotten used to the idea of day game being exclusively about street attempts. But after reading it, I feel like day game isn’t some big thing I have to conquer, it’s just going to become part of my life. Congrats Roosh. Job well done. And again, the writing style was so natural and flowed so well. You have honed a true skill.
Click one of the following links to learn more:
- Full details on what’s inside
- Ten full-length sample pages
- Details on how to order a copy in paperback or ebook
Thanks to everyone for being patient while I worked on this book. I think you’ll find that it was worth the wait.
The same way guys that are good with girls tend to have certain things in common, guys that are terrible with girls have their own set of things in common: game-killing excuses.
Guys formulate all sorts of ridiculous excuses for why they don’t or shouldn’t approach girls on a regular basis. Hitting on girls isn’t easy, and the human mind can play all sorts of crazy tricks to spare you the pain of rejection and the anxiety of approaching a complete stranger. But these excuses are deadly for your game. They swirl around in your head, crippling you from the inside out. Even if a guy continues to approach girls through these excuses, he will transmit an insecure vibe that will severely limit his success.
“The type of girls I like don’t like guys that are of my race”
Race-based excuses are among the most common I hear. I find that they’re most prevalent in guys whose cultures emphasize “modesty” or are racially homogenous (e.g., East Asian cultures, India), but it’s not limited to any one group. The truth is: if you live in large city and pay even a little attention, you will see men of your race with girls from other races. Whether you’re an Indian or Asian guy that wants to go out with white girls, or a white guy that wants to go out with Asian girls, don’t let racial insecurity blind you of your opportunities. Girls want cool, interesting guys. Period. Find an example of a famous, successful man in your race and emulate his style and swagger.
“I’m too short”
There’s no doubt that being tall is an advantage. Every inch over “average” will work in your favor with a lot of girls. That said, I see below-average guys with cute girls all the time. And, of course, I meet plenty of goofy tall guys with no girls or with ugly fatties on their arm. If you’re stocky or short, hit the gym. If you’re below-average height, wearing form-fitting clothing that “adds length” to your stature will do miracles for your appearance, as will maintaining an ideal, slender build.
“I want a nice girlfriend or wife, not to be a player”
This is probably the most common—and ridiculous—of the bunch. What guys who believe this don’t realize is that in order to get a quality girlfriend, they need to have the skills to capture her. If you think she’s girlfriend material that likely means that, at any given moment, several guys are thinking the same thing. Plus, a nice, attractive girl gets hit on by several random guys a day.
If you haven’t developed your game skills, there’s no way you’re going to be able to snare your dream girl—even if you do find her. That’s like owning a store and saying you just want one customer to come in and buy all your merchandise so you can retire. The retail business doesn’t work like that and neither does game. The interesting thing is that what you think you want is liable to change once you get to know (and bang) other girls. In other words: you don’t really know what you want.
“When I have money/success I’ll have to beat the girls back with a stick.”
If you believe this, I can guarantee you one thing: you’re in for a major disappointment in a few years. Money doesn’t hurt your chances with girls, but it’s one of the most overrated things in the world of game. There’s a reason that high-end escort services are ridiculously profitable: all the lonely rich guys that are working 80 hours weeks to support their lavish lifestyle. For every rich guy with a hot girl, there are 10 dirt-poor artists or street guitarists with a harem of hot girls. Girls like social proof, and money alone doesn’t prove much. Making your money as an international pop star, for example, is way different than making it as a buttoned-down, overworked investment banker. Money by itself won’t make girls—apart from the occasional gold-digger—attracted to you. Don’t waste your best years working your ass off and celibate. Hit on girls while you’re making your bones so that you can get even better ones later, by smartly leveraging your loot.
If any of these excuses sound familiar, you should immediately start working on ridding yourself of this game-killing baggage.
Like it or not, text messaging has become, in recent years, the preferred method for communicating with girls. Those cutesy, old-fashioned telephone conversations—where you actually got to know each other—have gone the way of dial-up Internet. It’s almost to the point where getting a girl to answer the phone is actually harder than getting her in the sack. I know some guys that have had straight-up relationships with girls without ever talking with them on the phone.
A lot of guys complain incessantly that all of this has made planning dates more difficult, made flaking easier, and added undue challenges to building up a girl’s comfort level with you. Those are all fair criticisms. But don’t waste your energy bemoaning things you can’t change. Girls have been difficult since time immemorial. Cavemen probably complained that their girls were so stubborn they needed to be dragged by the hair into their (literal) man-caves. Some things will never change.
Texting is a double-edged sword, to be sure. It has its definite downside, but also built-in advantages. And, like anything else, it requires its own set of rules. Your goals with texting are simple: to minimize flaking, maximize response rates, and get a girl to go out with you.
Here are ten text game tips for getting dates with girls:
1. When in doubt, keep it simple. Know the limits of the technology. Don’t try to charm your way into a girl’s pants in a black-and-white, 160-character message completely divorced of tone and delivery. It never works. Also, you can bet your bottom dollar that, if she’s cute, she gets dozens of texts per day. She reads them with a cursory glance, not with a keen eye for your subtle nuance.
2. Largely ignore the rules of grammar. It’s a sad state of affairs that good grammar makes you look bad with girls but, when it comes to texting, it often does. A perfect text communicates that you’re trying hard and that communicates neediness—a kiss of death. Don’t come across as a totally illiterate moron but, unless your target is a Ph.D. student in English Literature, leave a few capitalization and punctuation flaws in place.
3. Use jokes, emoticons, and exclamation points sparingly. Don’t fall for the trap of trying to soften a risky statement with a smiley face or trying to manufacture excitement with all of your exclamations points!!! Emoticons, except when they’re absolutely necessary, make you seem timid and girlish. Real men use periods.
4. Follow the old phone-call commandments. Some of the same things that were cardinal rules when you used to actually call girls are cardinal rules with texts: wait 2-4 days to text a new prospect (especially resist the suicidal, same-night “it was good to meet you” text); suss out her future availability in person, while you’re getting the digits; and end the “discussion” on a high note—preferably by not responding.
5. Apply the “Jumbotron Test.” It’s annoying as all hell, but girls share everything with their stupid girlfriends. Keep that in mind when you’re thinking about pouring your bleeding Romeo-heart out in a last-ditch effort to regain her interest. If you would feel comfortable with it being projected on the big-screen at a sold-out New York Knicks game, proceed with confidence.
6. Cultivate a Zen-like patience at all times. Texting girls can require nerves of steel. Irrespective of how friendly she was the night she met you, know that she won’t respond to your texts right away, for a variety of reasons: she’s genuinely busy, she’s trying to seem uninterested, or she’s actually trying to ignore you. Resist the temptation of sending a desperation follow-up text. When she does respond, wait as long, or longer, than she did to respond to you (without seeming obvious about it by doing it at precise times). Your goal is to seem comfortable and non-needy.
7. Insulate yourself from flakiness by leaving the discussion open. When you succeed in making plans with your girl—which should be the principle function of your exchange—don’t leave the conversation in a place where you won’t have a reason to talk before date-night. This is especially important if the date is more than a couple of days away. For instance, leave the location or exact time undetermined, so you can re-open the discussion with something like, “hey, you ever been to big ron’s house of cheap beer?”
8. Know when to shut up or give up. Less is more. Even if a girl is vibing you and sending you a bunch of texts, don’t correspond endlessly with her because, sooner or later, you’re going to overstay your welcome. What’s more, the more you say, the more likely you are to say something stupid that will dry up her panties. Conversely, if a girl is obviously not interested or clearly avoiding making plans with you, let the conversation go.
9. Use the “restart text” wisely. Even if you don’t succeed in setting a date with a girl initially, you can often resurrect the exchange a few days later with a simple, random hello-text. This is especially the case if you didn’t overkill things in the first place. I’ve often succeeded by sending a restart text long after she forgot some stupid thing I said or because I caught her in a hornier mood.
10. Don’t over-think things. Always remember this: she’s not agonizing over the texts she’s sending you. If you find yourself staring at your phone for minutes at a time contemplating what to punch in or asking your friends what to say, go back to #1.
These tips apply to girls you haven’t banged yet. Once you have sex with a girl, you can somewhat relax on these rules, but until then you must be almost obsessive about keeping your text game tight.