Is Your Venue Selection Flawed?

There’s only one way to find out if you’re way of finding girls is paying off, and that’s to look at your past results. I want you to take part in this exercise and open up a new spreadsheet in Excel.

On the first column list the top bars or clubs you have been to the last four years, especially ones you’ve gotten laid from. If you have gotten laid from a non-alcoholic venue like a particular coffee shop then include that in the list too. In the second column estimate as best as you can the number of times you’ve been there during that four years.

In the third column list the number of times you’ve banged a girl that you met at each venue. Then in the fourth column divide the two numbers to get a success rate percentage.

Is the highest percentage bars your most frequented bars?

Let’s take this a step further. In the fifth column put down a dollar amount that is your average cost for a night out at each venue. In the sixth column multiply columns two and five to get total money spent. Finally, in the seventh column divide columns six and three, to get the average cost per notch from each venue.

I lamented the close of Dragonfly, the Washington DC venue I shagged a ton of women at, but I’ve been so many times that turns out my success rate there was rather pitiful and my cost per notch astronomical at five times higher than the next best venue.

There is even a bar that is one of my current favorites that the numbers don’t justify as such while a bar across the street I skip has yielded much better fruit. How could I so easily continue to select venues against my best interests? It’s like my brain has blind spots which prevent me from going after my best interests.

The numbers don’t lie, no matter how much you think one place is better than the next.

The limit to where we can meet women exists only in our heads. While bars and clubs are the dominant venues I talk about my book Bang, in the Appendix I share advice on how to pick up girls in other situations, like on the street, from a car, in a coffee shop, and in the gym. If you are under 21 then I think you’ll find the Appendix to be especially useful.

Approaching is the hardest part of the game. Unless you know what you are doing it will take hundreds of tries to get master it through trial and error (I should know because that's how I learned). If you're working on your approaching skills then check out my book Bang, which tells you how to do it from start to end. Click here to learn more...

When You’re Trying To Date A Girl Who Is About To Travel

It can be death if a girl goes on a trip before you banged it. Something strange happens to a girl’s brain where things reset on the road. She comes back less enthused than ever to get it from a guy who was working on her. Let me give you a recent example.

I met a girl at a bar and made out with her within a half hour or so. I tried to seal it that same night but couldn’t due to bad logistics. I got the consolation prize of her number instead. The first time I called her I left a message and she returned my call almost instantly. Not only was I sure she liked me, but that she wanted to see me soon too.

We initially met on a Saturday and agreed to meet for drinks on a Tuesday. On Wednesday she was leaving to Miami for two weeks for business. I knew what I had to do…

After our date ended I suggested to walk her home (she lived nearby) since I wanted her to “get home safe.” She agreed and we walked to her front door. She asked if I wanted to come in, sparing me the important line that would have gotten me in (page 97 of Bang). We’re in her room and things progress from there, but I get healthy doses of resistance. She tells me this is only our fast date, she doesn’t move that fast, blah blah blah.

“No problem,” I tell her. But after a few minutes I’d start back up and get just a bit farther than I did before until she tells me to stop again. This was repeated about eight times over the course of two hours until we were both naked and I banged.

Do I normally break down resistance for two hours like that? Very rarely am I that persistent, which was very close to bordering on slimy. I did it this time because she was leaving the next day. It was my life or death duty to tap that because I knew that this would be my only chance.

Not ten minutes I was out of her house did she call me wanting to wish my goodbye. The next day before her flight she texted me and it was obvious she had a strong liking to me. I dare even say that she was crazy about me. Do you want to guess what happened when she came back? Nothing. I haven’t seen her since! She returned my phone calls with text messages days later and I eventually gave up.

To me this makes sense. Read the first paragraph again. While I do not know why travel resets things, it almost always does. If you find your girl is leaving for a trip more than a couple days in length, you should push harder than you normally do to seal the deal. You may not get a chance when she returns.

Getting a girl to the bedroom and dealing with resistance is the final stop before you notch your belt. It makes no difference how well you can attract a girl if you don’t know how to seal the deal. It would be a waste if you don’t know how to properly finish the job once you’ve already gotten her attention.

In Bang I have a chapter devoted specifically to “Late Game” that describes the best techniques and even explains the optimal order to take off her clothing while you have her in bed. Learn more about how Bang can improve your game.

Is Paul Janka The Real Deal?

Paul Janka has recently burst onto the pick-up scene with his Attraction Formula e-book. I have never seen him in action besides his exposure on television programs and while I have no doubt that he possesses knowledge which is beneficial to men who want to get laid more, the numbers he has published makes me wonder how realistic it is to achieve a high level of success based on his strategies.

On his upcoming seminar page he says how many phone numbers he’s gotten (3428), now removed, while also giving his number of lays (153). He has stated that he has a spreadsheet that keeps track of these figures.

Let’s do the math. If you divide phone numbers by lays you get 22. That means he gets one bang for every twenty-two numbers. What that tells me is he gets flaked on a lot, either due to his poor attraction game or the way he is closing.

My hunch says it has something to do with his looks. No bones about it, he is a very good looking guy, moreso than any other pick up artist I’ve seen. I’m guessing that girls throw him their number because of his looks, not his game, and then flake out because he didn’t build attraction and comfort.

Let’s take the math a step further. How many approaches do you think it takes Paul Janka has to do to get one number? I’m going to guess three. Maybe right now he only has to do one or two, but early on I’m sure he struggled and had to do five or more. Three sounds like a reasonable number, even though I’m sure it is higher.

So let’s multiply three by the number of phone numbers he’s gotten. That gives us 10,284. That means he’s probably done over 10,000 approaches in just a few years. I’ve done a lot of approaches in my life but I doubt I’ve hit 1,000. If you divide 10,000 approaches by five years, which is about how long he’s been in the game, you’ll get 2,000 approaches a year, or 5.5 approaches a day, every day.

If he has approached 10,284 girls for 153 lays means he’s getting a lay per 67 approaches. That’s a 1.5% success rate.

Again, I’m not posting this to bash Paul Janka, because I haven’t seen his game, but the math he has given is no inspiration to his students. Based on his good looks, is his numbers worse or better than what a man with average looks and average game can get? Probably worse. Study his material with a grain of salt.

How Sort Of Not To Pick Up Girls On The Subway

I was out on a Saturday night at some lame club my friend dragged me too. It was so loud I couldn’t hear anything and I had trouble believing that people go to clubs to meet people. (Maybe I’m just getting old.) I approached two different girls but it was so hard to maintain conversations that they just died out.

I was still in the mood to talk to girls on my way home since I couldn’t do it at the club, so when I went down the escalator and saw a pretty girl standing alone I had to do something. I couldn’t have made it more obvious that I was going to talk to her when I positioned myself beside her, but there was no “smooth” way of bypassing less empty spots to stand next to her. (In fact there is no evidence that making a smooth approach increases your odds of success.)

I waited no more than 5 seconds. Any longer and you just start to psych yourself out. She was in what seemed to be gym shorts so said, “It doesn’t seem like you went out tonight.”

“Actually I did but I changed so I wanted look like a whore on the way home.”

Now that’s called “giving encouragement,” where the girl gives a rich answer that lets me take it all sorts of places. My next comments were about the weekend being amateur hour and the horrible club I just came from. She took out a piece of gum and I asked for a piece.

The train came and she went in first. I was very casual about the whole thing. There were no distractions like in a bar so there is less of that urgency to fill every silence. Once inside the train I sat near her and since she wasn’t going anywhere there was no worry of her walking away.

She had a smart ass sense of humor so it was easy to tease her, about her young age and the mosquito bites on her legs. I jokingly asked if she was “intimidated to be talking to an older man,” one of my favorite lines.

I asked her what stop she gets off and since it was one away I decided to go for the number. Nine times out of ten, based on the fun conversation we had, I’m getting a number. In fact I thought the number was such a sure thing that I was already thinking of logistics on how to get out this college girl who doesn’t have a car.

I told her we should hang out for a drink and her reply was, “Haha no.” She laughed at me. There was other passengers around and they saw all this, though they did not make a noise.

I said, “Wow, well, you could have lied and said you had a boyfriend.”

“Well I do have a boyfriend, blah blah blah.” Take a few seconds to think about a girl who would put down a guy instead of telling the truth. With her smart ass personality I guess I wasn’t too surprised.

The stop came and I smiled and told her to have a good night. There’s no point in getting upset, especially since this approach will make it easier for me to do more subway approaches. After a few minutes the burn of her rejection in front of a small crowd wore off and I felt fine. Now I’m more motivated to chat up girls on the subway since I know the odds are way in my favor. 98% of guys in DC never even get up to the point of asking a girl for their number on the subway.

There are two types of guys: those who let rejection get them down and those who use it as fuel to feed the fire. I’m the latter, because I know that part of the game is a numbers game. For every couple rejections there is a nice success. If you stop at a rejection then you stopped too soon.

Having this belief is the reason why I was able to amass such a large amount of experience that led to the writing of Bang, where all the hundreds of approaches I made led to so much success that I was able to pick out the patterns and distill my knowledge into a practical guide. My book makes your learning curve shorter than mine. Click here to learn more.