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How Your Best Friends Try To Hold You Back From Getting Laid

One of the best predictors of how well you do with girls is the company you keep.

When I was in high school—and couldn’t score a girl to save my life—I had two core friends, who we’ll call Kenny and Ron, with whom I’d hang out at lunch and talk about painfully lame things like word puns and the latest computer games. One day, Kenny didn’t show up and, after that, started showing up only intermittently. On further investigation, Ron and I discovered that Kenny was secretly hanging out with this ugly girl from math class. Even though we knew she was ugly, we couldn’t say anything because he had gained access to vagina, something that, at the time, seemed as elusive as El Dorado to us. Before long, Kenny started hanging with a new group of guys altogether, each with their own girl. And, not long after that, Kenny upgraded the ugly girl to this dumb bitch I hated, but reluctantly admitted was “kind of hot.” We saw little of Kenny after that, though he would still grace us with occasional courtesy visits and would still sit with us in class sometimes.

I didn’t fully understand what happened until years later. At the time, I remember oversimplifying the situation, “punk-ass left his homies for a girl.” But the truth was, he wasn’t just hanging out with the girl. He had upgraded us too, like he had done with the poor girl from math class.

The newer you are togame, the higher the odds that you have one or more friends like us. Like minds congregate, and the longer you marinate in involuntary abstinence or general uncoolness, the more dead weight you tend to aquire. What’s worse, you reinforce each others’ weaknesses, hindering one another like crabs in a bucket. None of you improve your condition, but could if you only cooperated and madea concerted effort.

At a certain point, I remember taking inventory of my own friends and realizing that I didn’t have a single one that could, and would, approach a group of girls, get laid regularly, or give me any remotely useful advice on women. My friends were now holding me back.

I’ve since learned a lame friend can hinder you in a medley of ways:

1. The Passive Cockblock

When you approach girls he fawns on them, says something stupid, acts nervous, acts creepy, or simply looks goofy. Or, he stands at an uncomfortable distance while you’re talking to girls, saying nothing.

2. The Semi-Intentional Cockblock

Crazed by the prospect of talking to cute girls, he goes for the girl you worked for, like a thirsty wanderer in the desert going for the last bottle of Vitamin Water. He adds a revolting air of desperation, which is girl-kryptonite.

3. Discouraging You or Bringing You Down with Pessimistic Outlook

A lot of your success with women hinges on cultivating an upbeat social mood. This guy kills that in its crib by constantly talking about his failures and poo-pooing the realities of the bar you’re in, “the girls in this city,” or bugging to leave.

4. Imparting an Unshakeable “Stink of Death” on You

Stands there awkwardly, with his drink held tightly against his chest, glaring at the cute girls, all while standing next to you. It’s like hanging a sign around your neck that says “lame and sexless.”

5. Judges You and Your Approaches, Laughs at You

This is probably the worst kind. He claims to know about girls, talks shit when he sees you strike out, but does nothing, making a hard thing harder.

So, if you have lame friends, you have a choice: cut them off completely, try to educate them, or compartmentalize them into a non-girl part of your life. In my experience, trying to teach guys game that haven’t sought it out on their own is an uphill, frustrating, and ultimately fruitless battle. Most guys, unless they’re complete turds, are also not deserving of a complete cut-off.

Best to realize that you need to do what Ken did to me years ago: demote your lame friends and spend more time with guys that can help you advance.

 

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Posted by tuthmosis in General Advice, High School & College.

3 Comments »
May 31st, 2011

lol, funny article. You’re writing style is really good! It’s funny to remember the old days, where everything was a mystery. And so true about cockblock friends. When I changed my life. I changed my career and my friends. I don’t think I am in touch with any of them anymore. You change, life changes, people come and go. That’s the way it is!

2 Anonymous
May 31st, 2011

what abt the 1 who flirts with ua gal?

May 31st, 2011

Laat dat zonnetje maar dookmoren! En wat een errrrrg leuk knijpertje is dat ook… Ik kwam je nog tegen in een nieuw boek van Gestalten! Super!

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