Archive for the ‘Text Messaging Game’ Category:
One of the basic realities of life is that no guy—no matter how famous, good-looking, or knowledgeable about game—has a 100-percent success rate. Everyone gets rejected sooner or later. Even Johnny Depp has millions of girls who wouldn’t bang him. The frustrating part of the rejection reality isn’t that it exists, is that it can happen anywhere in the process, at any time. A girl can go cold seemingly out of the blue. One of the most common places where it happens is after getting a girl’s phone number.
We’ve all been there. You met a girl out, and you did everything “right”: maybe you rubbed your boner against her for half-an-hour to some shitty music; you had her laughing at all your well-honed stories; maybe you even made out with her in the corner. You correctly tried to bounce from the bar with her, but she didn’t “want to leave her friends.” But she practically threw her number at you and you figured you had this one on lock-down. Then, after following the classic text conventions, you get nothing. There are a million ways this scenario plays out, but the theme is the same: guy has number, things look good, and the girl goes dark.
To fully comprehend this situation, you have to understand what you’re up against. Girls nowadays give out their numbers like candy. There are multiple reasons for this. For one, it’s the path of least resistance. Think about it: the quickest way to get a guy off your case is to give him your number, comfortably extricate yourself from the situation, and then just ignore his lobs. Girls avoid confrontation and awkwardness at all costs. But that only explains a situation where they don’t like the guy. What about when she showed clear signs of attraction?
We’re living in a world of endless distractions. The deadly combination of Facebook, ever-shrinking attention-spans, and the inherently flakey nature of young girls (especially American ones) conspire to create a bad situation. Cute girls have unlimited options. In other words, there’s a good chance you weren’t the only guy who rubbed your boner against her that weekend. What’s more, girls are forgetful. She could have fantasized about being impregnated by you the night she met you, but within an hour she forgot about that because she got a text from some other guy. This is a double-edged sword that can work to your advantage as much as it can hurt you, as we shall see.
So what do you do when a girl doesn’t reply to your text? Well first, let’s cover what you shouldn’t do. First off, resist the temptation of chasing down your text with a follow-up because you think, “she obviously didn’t get it.” She got it. Today’s girl is glued to her phone 24/7, and she’s reading and replying to texts constantly. The odds that the ether swallowed up your text before it got to her iPhone 9 are infinitesimal. Get that out of your head. Secondly, don’t go to the other extreme and do what a lot of experienced players mistakenly do: immediately delete her number and write her off. Remember: effectively texting girls requires a Zen-like patience that is counter-intuitive to our hunting nature. Just chill.
A certain percentage of the time just forgetting about your text is enough. I’ve had girls reply to me, literally, days later. We end up making plans, and I end up banging them in the long run. But a lot of the time that doesn’t happen. That’s where the re-start text comes in.
The restart text is basically simple text volley that aims at resurrecting a conversation that’s gone cold. It can work at any stage in your interaction with a girl: when all you have is the phone number; when you’ve gone out once but things fizzled; and even after you’ve banged her and lost touch with her because you moved on voluntarily. The important precursor is that you fully allow the conversation to actually go cold. I rarely send a restart text sooner than 10 days than my last communication. The goal of the restart text, simply told, is to re-spark the intrigue the girl presumably felt for you at some point. That’s all. It’s not a logical appeal to re-contact you because “you thought you had a good time.” This is where a girl’s forgetfulness works to your advantage. By the time you come around a second time, she’s likely forgotten about some stupid thing you said that made her stop contacting you in the first place, or about the other guy who temporarily knocked you out of the first-place position. Often it’s just as simple as catching a girl when she’s more amenable to having sex.
Two Different Types of Restart Texts
The restart text is an art that you have to customize to your own style and to each situation, but these are some basic techniques to get you started. Create your own text following these approaches.
1. The Mistaken Identity. This is probably the oldest, and most transparent, approach. Girls, especially the smarter ones, can sometimes see right through this one—even though that doesn’t mean it won’t work. After all, it’s all about plausible deniability. The important part is to make it clear that it wasn’t intended for her. It’s also nice to embed some juicy bait that she just won’t be able to resist.
Example: “sorry I’m running late, homie. got into argument with andy’s ugly sister. u were right about her!”
2. The Non Sequitur. This is basically a random, brief particle that will sufficiently stir a girl’s nosy instinct into inquiring further. Don’t make it creepy or gratuitously weird. The key is to wedge yourself into that nosy part of a girl’s brain that makes eavesdropping, celebrity gossip, and “mysterious guy” in the room irresistible to her.
Example: “it was $20.”
If she responds, you should follow that up with something like “oops, wrong person.”, adding a juicy tid-bit to have her respond a second time, like “wait, who’s this?” Once you re-activate the conversation, don’t make the mistake of bringing up your prior interaction or immediately revealing your identity or intentions (to plan a date). Also, don’t text endlessly with her. Dangle the carrot for a while—leaving gaps of different lengths between texts—get her interested, and plan to “meet up.” Keep it simple.
A lot of the time, the restart text won’t work. But it should definitely be part of your arsenal. You’ll be delightfully surprised when you re-capture a seemingly lost prospect with this simple, nearly effortless, technique.
Like it or not, text messaging has become, in recent years, the preferred method for communicating with girls. Those cutesy, old-fashioned telephone conversations—where you actually got to know each other—have gone the way of dial-up Internet. It’s almost to the point where getting a girl to answer the phone is actually harder than getting her in the sack. I know some guys that have had straight-up relationships with girls without ever talking with them on the phone.
A lot of guys complain incessantly that all of this has made planning dates more difficult, made flaking easier, and added undue challenges to building up a girl’s comfort level with you. Those are all fair criticisms. But don’t waste your energy bemoaning things you can’t change. Girls have been difficult since time immemorial. Cavemen probably complained that their girls were so stubborn they needed to be dragged by the hair into their (literal) man-caves. Some things will never change.
Texting is a double-edged sword, to be sure. It has its definite downside, but also built-in advantages. And, like anything else, it requires its own set of rules. Your goals with texting are simple: to minimize flaking, maximize response rates, and get a girl to go out with you.
Here are ten text game tips for getting dates with girls:
1. When in doubt, keep it simple. Know the limits of the technology. Don’t try to charm your way into a girl’s pants in a black-and-white, 160-character message completely divorced of tone and delivery. It never works. Also, you can bet your bottom dollar that, if she’s cute, she gets dozens of texts per day. She reads them with a cursory glance, not with a keen eye for your subtle nuance.
2. Largely ignore the rules of grammar. It’s a sad state of affairs that good grammar makes you look bad with girls but, when it comes to texting, it often does. A perfect text communicates that you’re trying hard and that communicates neediness—a kiss of death. Don’t come across as a totally illiterate moron but, unless your target is a Ph.D. student in English Literature, leave a few capitalization and punctuation flaws in place.
3. Use jokes, emoticons, and exclamation points sparingly. Don’t fall for the trap of trying to soften a risky statement with a smiley face or trying to manufacture excitement with all of your exclamations points!!! Emoticons, except when they’re absolutely necessary, make you seem timid and girlish. Real men use periods.
4. Follow the old phone-call commandments. Some of the same things that were cardinal rules when you used to actually call girls are cardinal rules with texts: wait 2-4 days to text a new prospect (especially resist the suicidal, same-night “it was good to meet you” text); suss out her future availability in person, while you’re getting the digits; and end the “discussion” on a high note—preferably by not responding.
5. Apply the “Jumbotron Test.” It’s annoying as all hell, but girls share everything with their stupid girlfriends. Keep that in mind when you’re thinking about pouring your bleeding Romeo-heart out in a last-ditch effort to regain her interest. If you would feel comfortable with it being projected on the big-screen at a sold-out New York Knicks game, proceed with confidence.
6. Cultivate a Zen-like patience at all times. Texting girls can require nerves of steel. Irrespective of how friendly she was the night she met you, know that she won’t respond to your texts right away, for a variety of reasons: she’s genuinely busy, she’s trying to seem uninterested, or she’s actually trying to ignore you. Resist the temptation of sending a desperation follow-up text. When she does respond, wait as long, or longer, than she did to respond to you (without seeming obvious about it by doing it at precise times). Your goal is to seem comfortable and non-needy.
7. Insulate yourself from flakiness by leaving the discussion open. When you succeed in making plans with your girl—which should be the principle function of your exchange—don’t leave the conversation in a place where you won’t have a reason to talk before date-night. This is especially important if the date is more than a couple of days away. For instance, leave the location or exact time undetermined, so you can re-open the discussion with something like, “hey, you ever been to big ron’s house of cheap beer?”
8. Know when to shut up or give up. Less is more. Even if a girl is vibing you and sending you a bunch of texts, don’t correspond endlessly with her because, sooner or later, you’re going to overstay your welcome. What’s more, the more you say, the more likely you are to say something stupid that will dry up her panties. Conversely, if a girl is obviously not interested or clearly avoiding making plans with you, let the conversation go.
9. Use the “restart text” wisely. Even if you don’t succeed in setting a date with a girl initially, you can often resurrect the exchange a few days later with a simple, random hello-text. This is especially the case if you didn’t overkill things in the first place. I’ve often succeeded by sending a restart text long after she forgot some stupid thing I said or because I caught her in a hornier mood.
10. Don’t over-think things. Always remember this: she’s not agonizing over the texts she’s sending you. If you find yourself staring at your phone for minutes at a time contemplating what to punch in or asking your friends what to say, go back to #1.
These tips apply to girls you haven’t banged yet. Once you have sex with a girl, you can somewhat relax on these rules, but until then you must be almost obsessive about keeping your text game tight.
Text game is the new thing when it comes to contacting girls. It’s slowly replacing phone conversations as a means to not only communicate with the girl but get dates as well. There’s going to be a day in the future where our kids wondered about how phone conversations worked, like we ask our parents with mom shows us love letters written by dad.
When it comes to flirting in text messaging, the key rule is the shorter and the breezier the better. You don’t want to numb the girl to you by texting often with many questions. By cryptic, use fragment sentences, and keep her guessing what you really mean. Send random text messages with two or third words followed by question marks. For example, “Going out tonight?” and “Anything exciting?” is good.
Always take longer to reply than it took her. For example if she took ten minutes to write back to your text message, take longer than 10 minutes. This is important so you don’t come across as needy or bored. Remember that you have to play the game in text just as much as you would in person or on the phone. Seductions are made and broken by text, believe it or not.
The ultimate goal of text is to get her out on a date, so you should only send a flurry of texts on the day or the day before you want to get her out. There is no point in starting a long text messaging dialogue on Sunday if you want to get her out on Wednesday night. Instead just wait until Wednesday night where you can message her something like “What are you doing tonight?” The dialogue will sporadically continue int the evening until you suggest a meeting. Write, “a drink.. 9pm?”
If you’re looking for the ultimate strategy in text messaging, it’s this: KISS… Keep It Simple Stupid.
It would be a waste to spend all that time approaching and talking to get her number and then blow it on the phone when you try to set a date. What's even more important than getting a number is knowing what to do with it.
I remember when I went on a number collecting spree for six months just to practice my phone game. I was tired of it costing me notches, and didn't get very far with using e-mail. I tested everything I could, even seemingly basic things like the best times to call, until I settled on the most optimal system that resulted in the greatest number of first dates.
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