Example Of Really Bad Approach Strategy

Here’s an email I received recently…

Roosh

Recently, ive been testing out a new approach and getting sporadic results. im in israel for the summer and am seriously intent on hooking up with israeli girls. I simply approach a girl and ask her in poor, pathetic hebrew (even though im almost fluent) for her advice. I tell her im looking for a cute, sweet israeli but have only found skanks. I ask if she can offer any advice. This worked on a waitress and i went out with her a couple times. other girls are simply not feeling it.

How would u suggest i tighten/tweak this approach? Do u think its better to begin the conversation in english and then transition to hebrew?

My Answer:

Your opener sucks. Why would you be trashing “skanks” to girls you want to have fast sex with? It decreases attraction instead of building it. Tease and use humor and instead.

“Hi how are you. Do you know a good place where I can get _______?” Ask for some food, good hummus, whatever.

She’ll answer. Then you say…

“Also by the way i’m here for a short time. I’m looking for a nice wife…. can you maybe lead me to the right coffee shop where I can find one?” Then you smile so she knows you are joking.

She’ll laugh and you say, “No i’m just kidding but i don’t know many people here. This city is interesting though…”

Then ramble from there. Try a couple approaches in bad Hebrew and a couple in English to see which works better. Work off that and don’t email me back until you get some action.

Approaching is the hardest part of the game. There is nothing natural or easy about walking up to a girl you don't know and talking to her in a way that makes her laugh, builds attraction, and ends with her giving you her phone number.

After approaching hundreds of different girls with all types of openers, I finally settled on two that are my "defaults," meaning they are powerful enough that I can use them regardless of the girl or the environment. I share them in my book Bang, along with others you can use for bars, clubs, daytime spots, and even the gym. It has 64 pages on Early Game that focus exclusively on the approach and what to say immediately after. I share dozens of conversation tips with tons of word-for-word examples, and I also teach you the concept of threads to keep the interaction going without having awkward silences.

You can take the time to make up openers on your own, experimenting over the next several months, or you can learn mine and get started using something that works off the bat. If you want to learn my favorite natural openers that are easy to use and actually work, click here to learn more about my book Bang today.

Physical Issue Or Confidence Issue?

Here’s a very interesting email I received…

Roosh,

I want to tell you a little about myself. I am 27 years old, divorced, with a son. I got married 7 years ago because my girlfriend got pregnant. DNA testing from the divorce ruled me out as being the father of my daughter. I am back in college and living with my grandparents.

My biggest problem is sweating. The strong deodorants don’t work and the medication that keeps me from sweating is too expensive because it isn’t for sweating but for stomach ulcers.

I am writing you because I dig your stuff. I recently bought your book but have only read the introduction. Seriously, I have to study a lot and I am currently in summer school. I need help, and I totally dig a lot of the things that you say and your history. I like that you are an intellectual. The bottom line: I need help with my game, but I don’t want to sacrifice my GPA and ruin my chances of getting into grad school.

I talked to Neil Strauss in Chicago about how sweating has kept me out of the game, and he said to make up some story if someone asks about how I did some research and I found that men who sweat have higher levels of testosterone. That is easier said than done and hugely embarrassing.

I don’t have much money, but if you are putting on anymore workshops after you get back from traveling then I would like to know. I get so fucking depressed and I feel like a loser.

I have definitely reached that point on more than one occasion where I thought that life just wasn’t worth it. I don’t believe in God, so I know that when I die it will be over. I want to change Roosh, and I would like it if you could help me.

My Answer:

First, thanks for buying my book.

Your issue is not sweating but confidence. And I know this because I sweat like a fucking pig (it runs in the family), especially on my hands. Most girls I date have made comments about it and I tell them I’m thankful I sweat because I never need lotion, which will end up saving me “thousands of dollars” during my lifetime.

In fact I can’t wear grey shirts because of pit sweat. My nose and forehead is often sweaty and I dab with napkins whenever I get the chance. But not once have I worried that sweat is stopping me from getting laid.

In other words, your confidence issue is making it seem like sweating is keeping you out of the game when actually your mind is. There are guys that weigh over 225 pounds who are pulling regularly so you can’t convince me that mere sweat is your problem.

Ask yourself this: is it possible that there are men out there who have worser physical issues than yourself but are getting laid regularly? Your solution isn’t a workshop. You have my book which is enough to see a large improvement in the next year. Read it from front to back and approach at least ten girls a week. Forty girls a month starting tomorrow is your solution, and there is no shortcut to that. In your email you didn’t mention things you’re doing, so that tells me you haven’t even stepped in the pool yet.

Also start optimizing your look by trying different hair and beard configurations. Splurge on a new outfit that makes you feel good. And definitely hit the gym. If you don’t live near a gym or can’t afford it, develop a poor-man’s workout routine (pushups, situps, pullups with a $30 door frame bar, and running). It helps to be happy with what you see in the mirror.

In your next email to me I want to hear questions about issues you have found when approaching girls. Take action starting tomorrow.

The whole point of the game, besides some cheap thrills in the sack, is to find the quality girl you deserve instead of having to settle like most guys do. I remember the time when I personally couldn't even have conversations with pretty girls. I would just stare at them and do nothing, hoping that by some miracle of God they would come talk to me first. But they never did.

My problem was part lack of confidence, part fear, and part inexperience. Yet once I decided to take control of the problem, I sucked it up and started approaching girls everywhere like a maniac. That's how I learned by trial and error and came up with an effective system to go from approach to bang, which I describe in my book Bang.

In Bang I teach you everything I learned about girls with a strong focus on approaching and having interesting conversation that creates attraction. Then step by step I tell you how to call the girl, take her out on dates, and then finally seal the deal. With my system I'm confident you will eventually meet and bang the one girl that you want for the long-term. Click here to learn more about Bang today.

Approaches That Go Nowhere

Reader question…

I push myself out more these days and approach way more people (and chicks) than before and I’m getting rejected left right and center. And the only opener that comes to me – that I’m most comfortable with, even though I’m pretty uncomfortable, is “Hi.” Then I introduce myself and ask her name and it typically goes downhill from there.

But I’m not backing down. These days. once I start walking, I don’t care if I’m approaching lonely (but not looking for company) chicks, pairs (most common), chicks with boyfriend on their arm (I did this cause she locked eyes with me for over 10 seconds) or Attilla — suicidal, but fuck it. I have to catch up on my rejections.

This is where I’ve hit a brick wall. I’m not converting any approaches into successes. So far 100% of the girls I’ve met don’t want to sleep with me. I want attraction, then conversation. I’m not gonna ask for a number if I don’t see myself following up. Numbers don’t mean much to me. It’s the interest, so my real test would be to check if she was interested enough to ask for my number, call me or call me back.

Then there’s the butterflies, the 8-9s who are at the club/bar for god-knows-fucking-what. They’ll flit around, drink, dance with their homegirl, talk to 4 other chicks, then queen around dudes who approach them and go to the bathroom. WTF is up with that? Don’t they know California is in a state of drought. I want more game so they listen and obey. Such is the sorry state of things.

My Answer:

I don’t like your opener. Sure you feel comfortable doing it but it gives you very little room to do anything else. You’re making the girl decide on the spot if she likes you or not since it’s leaning direct in nature.

Focus on indirect instead and let her talk to you for a few minutes until she thinks, “Hmm he’s a cool guy.” Don’t make her decide off the bat.

That said, try guessing games. Start an opener with “Let me guess…” then follow it with an observation about her. On the subway recently I used, “Let me guess, by the way you are dressed you are going to a bar or club.” That led to a conversation about where she was going and nightlife in general. It can be anything so experiment with it (I mention a good one in Bang).

Start small. Instead of going for sex, have a goal of her showing you indicators of interest. Is she asking questions about you, like your name? Because that’s the first step in attraction. So what do you have to do to get her to be interested in you in those first few minutes? You’ll probably have to come up with a funny/original opener, you’ll have to drop some intriguing hints about yourself (”Yeah i just came from…”), and you’ll probably have to make her laugh while being confident. With the approaches you’re doing I’m sure you’ll figure it out soon but use your BRAIN and THINK about different things you can do. If you’re doing something that doesn’t work, try something else.Other than that, keep approaching, because that’s the number one thing you can do to increase your results.

Approaching is the hardest part of the game. There is nothing natural or easy about walking up to a girl you don't know and talking to her in a way that makes her laugh, builds attraction, and ends with her giving you her phone number.

After approaching hundreds of different girls with all types of openers, I finally settled on two that are my "defaults," meaning they are powerful enough that I can use them regardless of the girl or the environment. I share them in my book Bang, along with others you can use for bars, clubs, daytime spots, and even the gym. It has 64 pages on Early Game that focus exclusively on the approach and what to say immediately after. I share dozens of conversation tips with tons of word-for-word examples, and I also teach you the concept of threads to keep the interaction going without having awkward silences.

You can take the time to make up openers on your own, experimenting over the next several months, or you can learn mine and get started using something that works off the bat. If you want to learn my favorite natural openers that are easy to use and actually work, click here to learn more about my book Bang today.

Picking Up Girls With A Platonic Lady Friend Wingman

Time for another reader question…

I have an extremely good female friend (platonic — who i’m not physically interested in ) — but I love hanging out with her, but usually leave her home when I’m going to go do pick-up. Whenever I bring her out, I feel like she kills my game; either because I’d rather hang out with her than most of the dumb girls I meet, or most girls just assume she’s my girlfriend. Is there a better way to play this? She has a very beginners knowledge of pick-up stuff that I’ve told her, and is conventionally attractive. I don’t want to her use her in anyway that would be weird later on — if i started dating some girl i picked up — since i would want the new girl to hang out with my friends.

So far the only way I’ve made this work — is when i was out with her + other friends, saw a girl across the bar that I had picked up the week before, and made her go over — make friends with the new girl (”randomly”) — then acted like it was a coincidence later on (oh my god — you’re friends with so and so too?)

Any ideas?

My Answer:

You answered your own question. Cut her loose. Hang out with her once every two weeks at most. I had the same problem, hanging out with three lady friends. With them i felt like they were watching and judging me. Eventually I ditched them and got some guy friends and had a lot more success. Knowing girls, she will give you slight cutting remarks that discourage you and plus you won’t be able to go balls out because you will wonder what she thinks. Pick up is hard enough—you don’t need that on your shoulder.

I’m sure you can somehow introduce her into your game to help, but she won’t help you more than with a proper wingman. Lady friends kill game.

It would be a waste to spend all that time approaching and talking to get her number and then blow it on the phone when you try to set a date. What's even more important than getting a number is knowing what to do with it.

I remember when I went on a number collecting spree for six months just to practice my phone game. I was tired of it costing me notches, and didn't get very far with using e-mail. I tested everything I could, even seemingly basic things like the best times to call, until I settled on the most optimal system that resulted in the greatest number of first dates.

In my book Bang I share with you my phone game in several very detailed pages, from how to get her on the phone, when to call her, what voicemail message to leave, what to say when you call her, and how to ask her out. And my phone conversation strategy helps you avoid any awkward silence when you get her on the phone.

It may take a few tries for you to successfully adopt my phone system, but I think it will be a big improvement if you don't already have one in place right now. Click here to learn more about my book Bang today, where it's all spelled out for you in very clear, no-bullshit language.