How To Meet A Nice Girl Today Using My Favorite Conversation Hack

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To Touch Or Not To Touch?

Here’s another question from the mailbag:

I bought Bang a couple of months ago and have enjoyed reading it. I’ve also been reading/listening to Carlos Xuma’s “Secrets of the Alpha Man” program. He stresses that men should not touch a woman or try to sleep with her too soon, as this conveys neediness and impatience. In fact he states that a woman will usually get close and let the man know when she’s ready to physically escalate (whether that be touching or having sex).

From my understanding, your view is that a man should always get touchy/feely on the first date and go for the lay sooner rather than later.

I’m quite inexperienced when it comes to women, and am wondering what to do with these 2 conflicting points of view. What are your thoughts on this?

My Answer:

Great question.Girls touching

The truth is both are correct. Remember that there are many to skin a cat.

When you want to screen a girl for her easiness, it’s best to touch her early and often. If she accepts your advances you know that this girl is probably horny and wants to fuck.

When you want to get a girl chasing you, then it’s best not to touch much. Let her work for it.

You can get laid using both methods, but the first method is for beginners who don’t have tight enough game to get girls to chase them yet. Basically you’re just trying to turn the girl on by touching. The second method is more advanced when your shit is together and no longer have to work as hard. I have moved more towards the second method, but when I know a girl is trying to fuck, I touch often.

Flirting and building attraction is crucial when it comes to helping the girl decide that she wants to sleep with you. Before I knew how attraction really worked, I'd approach a girl and talk about boring topics such as work or her favorite movies, and then she would politely excuse herself from the conversation only a couple minutes into it. But now I know better. When you talk about more interesting topics, she sees you as more interesting. It's as simple as that. With a couple additional techniques, the "interesting" is turned into strong attraction.

Once attraction is built you can get her number and take her on a date or go for the one night stand (my preferred method). I teach you how to do all this in my book Bang, which details my complete banging system with step-by-step strategies such as The Four Key Moves To Intimacy (for when you want to kiss her) and my bedroom technique for sealing the deal. And of course my book tells you how to keep a fun conversation going, whether you just met her or are on a date.

If you had a system for building strong attraction with random girls you meet, would you get laid more than you are now? If you answered yes, then click here to learn more about Bang today.

Posted on July 6 2010 in Bars & Clubs, Flirting, Q&A

What To Do After The One-Night Stand

Here’s a question I got recently via email:

I’m doing good in initial approaches and getting up girls on one night stands. However seeing these girls again isn’t going too well. I have thought about the fact they might be getting buyers remorse because a few occasions have been drunken sex at a party. We have fun but I doubt the adequate comfort level of say 7 hours that Mystery talks about is reached.

Also little conversation is had, it’s mostly just both of our hormones in action. Some of these girls I have tried to turn into fuck buddies but it hasn’t gone according to plan. I normally send a text 2-3 days later saying whatsup girly or you were a playful girl sat night. They text back saying “hey! how are you blah blah.” I say, “good you etc etc wanna hang out tonight?” They say sorry I have work or some shit. Should I be calling even though they don’t have my number, might get freaked out that I’m calling. What are your thoughts here?

On that note what are some good initial text messages to send to a girl and then follow up texts?

Also what are your thoughts on drinking when you go out? I still feel a little uncomfortable in a club sober but feel that approaching this way will only tighten up my game.

How much does a players living quarters affect things? I currently live with a hot 20 year old girl who has a b/f. We have never hooked up although I kinda only see her as a friend. Sometimes it has felt weird bringing a girl back as I know she can hear us. Would be cool to live with some guys and bring back a few girls together. There might be a 20 year old guy moving in which would be cool. What are your thoughts on living arrangements in general?

Last last question, thinking about joining a fraternity next year. It will cost a little bit of money but I am working this summer. Friends in there say they are banging hotties l, r and centre. Then might move into the frat house. What do ya reckon on this (might be a stupid question)?

My Reply:

I don’t think it has anything to do with it being a one night stand because I’ve dated many girls in that way (banging in much less time than 7 hours). The big problem is your attempt to move them into fuck buddy status immediately. A girl will be a slut for a night but she won’t knowingly be the fuck buddy after just one sex episode.

“Wanna hang tonight?”

It doesn’t work like that. You have to try and date them normally by giving at least one days notice, preferably two. We know she’s a slut but don’t treat her like one while she’s sober. As for texting game, keep it very simple and logistical in nature. No jokes, no stories, no flirting. Just “Hey what’s up, are you free on so and so?”

I drink when I go out, usually capping it at 3 drinks (after that my game declines). If I’m in a social setting where 95% of people are drinking, it’d be more unnatural not to drink.

Living quarters definitely affects things but as I made it work when I lived with my dad (even bringing girls there), it doesn’t hurt as much as most people think. If I had my choice, I’d live with one other friend very close to a nightlife area. This would drastically increase the amount of one night stands I get. “Hey you want to have a drink at my place… I live four blocks away.” That has a lot more sway then if you live over a half-hour away.

If you can join a frat, do it. It’s probably the best thing you can do to banging a lot of chicks in college.

 

Posted on June 23 2010 in General Advice, Q&A, Sex

Example Of Really Bad Approach Strategy

Here’s an email I received recently…

Roosh

Recently, ive been testing out a new approach and getting sporadic results. im in israel for the summer and am seriously intent on hooking up with israeli girls. I simply approach a girl and ask her in poor, pathetic hebrew (even though im almost fluent) for her advice. I tell her im looking for a cute, sweet israeli but have only found skanks. I ask if she can offer any advice. This worked on a waitress and i went out with her a couple times. other girls are simply not feeling it.

GirlsHow would u suggest i tighten/tweak this approach? Do u think its better to begin the conversation in english and then transition to hebrew?

My Answer:

Your opener sucks. Why would you be trashing “skanks” to girls you want to have fast sex with? It decreases attraction instead of building it. Tease and use humor and instead.

“Hi how are you. Do you know a good place where I can get _______?” Ask for some food, good hummus, whatever.

She’ll answer. Then you say…

“Also by the way i’m here for a short time. I’m looking for a nice wife…. can you maybe lead me to the right coffee shop where I can find one?” Then you smile so she knows you are joking.

She’ll laugh and you say, “No i’m just kidding but i don’t know many people here. This city is interesting though…”

Then ramble from there. Try a couple approaches in bad Hebrew and a couple in English to see which works better. Work off that and don’t email me back until you get some action.

Approaching is the hardest part of the game. There is nothing natural or easy about walking up to a girl you don't know and talking to her in a way that makes her laugh, builds attraction, and ends with her giving you her phone number.

After approaching hundreds of different girls with all types of openers, I finally settled on two that are my "defaults," meaning they are powerful enough that I can use them regardless of the girl or the environment. I share them in my book Bang, along with others you can use for bars, clubs, daytime spots, and even the gym. It has 64 pages on Early Game that focus exclusively on the approach and what to say immediately after. I share dozens of conversation tips with tons of word-for-word examples, and I also teach you the concept of threads to keep the interaction going without having awkward silences.

You can take the time to make up openers on your own, experimenting over the next several months, or you can learn mine and get started using something that works off the bat. If you want to learn my favorite natural openers that are easy to use and actually work, click here to learn more about my book Bang today.

Posted on September 28 2009 in Approaching, Daytime Game, Q&A

Physical Issue Or Confidence Issue?

Here’s a very interesting email I received…

Roosh,

I want to tell you a little about myself. I am 27 years old, divorced, with a son. I got married 7 years ago because my girlfriend got pregnant. DNA testing from the divorce ruled me out as being the father of my daughter. I am back in college and living with my grandparents.

wetMy biggest problem is sweating. The strong deodorants don’t work and the medication that keeps me from sweating is too expensive because it isn’t for sweating but for stomach ulcers.

I am writing you because I dig your stuff. I recently bought your book but have only read the introduction. Seriously, I have to study a lot and I am currently in summer school. I need help, and I totally dig a lot of the things that you say and your history. I like that you are an intellectual. The bottom line: I need help with my game, but I don’t want to sacrifice my GPA and ruin my chances of getting into grad school.

I talked to Neil Strauss in Chicago about how sweating has kept me out of the game, and he said to make up some story if someone asks about how I did some research and I found that men who sweat have higher levels of testosterone. That is easier said than done and hugely embarrassing.

I don’t have much money, but if you are putting on anymore workshops after you get back from traveling then I would like to know. I get so fucking depressed and I feel like a loser.

I have definitely reached that point on more than one occasion where I thought that life just wasn’t worth it. I don’t believe in God, so I know that when I die it will be over. I want to change Roosh, and I would like it if you could help me.

My Answer:

First, thanks for buying my book.

Your issue is not sweating but confidence. And I know this because I sweat like a fucking pig (it runs in the family), especially on my hands. Most girls I date have made comments about it and I tell them I’m thankful I sweat because I never need lotion, which will end up saving me “thousands of dollars” during my lifetime.

In fact I can’t wear grey shirts because of pit sweat. My nose and forehead is often sweaty and I dab with napkins whenever I get the chance. But not once have I worried that sweat is stopping me from getting laid.

In other words, your confidence issue is making it seem like sweating is keeping you out of the game when actually your mind is. There are guys that weigh over 225 pounds who are pulling regularly so you can’t convince me that mere sweat is your problem.

Ask yourself this: is it possible that there are men out there who have worser physical issues than yourself but are getting laid regularly? Your solution isn’t a workshop. You have my book which is enough to see a large improvement in the next year. Read it from front to back and approach at least ten girls a week. Forty girls a month starting tomorrow is your solution, and there is no shortcut to that. In your email you didn’t mention things you’re doing, so that tells me you haven’t even stepped in the pool yet.

Also start optimizing your look by trying different hair and beard configurations. Splurge on a new outfit that makes you feel good. And definitely hit the gym. If you don’t live near a gym or can’t afford it, develop a poor-man’s workout routine (pushups, situps, pullups with a $30 door frame bar, and running). It helps to be happy with what you see in the mirror.

In your next email to me I want to hear questions about issues you have found when approaching girls. Take action starting tomorrow.

The whole point of the game, besides some cheap thrills in the sack, is to find the quality girl you deserve instead of having to settle like most guys do. I remember the time when I personally couldn't even have conversations with pretty girls. I would just stare at them and do nothing, hoping that by some miracle of God they would come talk to me first. But they never did.

My problem was part lack of confidence, part fear, and part inexperience. Yet once I decided to take control of the problem, I sucked it up and started approaching girls everywhere like a maniac. That's how I learned by trial and error and came up with an effective system to go from approach to bang, which I describe in my book Bang.

In Bang I teach you everything I learned about girls with a strong focus on approaching and having interesting conversation that creates attraction. Then step-by0step I tell you how to call the girl, take her out on dates, and then finally seal the deal. With my system I'm confident you will eventually meet and bang the one girl that you want for the long-term. Click here to learn more about Bang today.

Posted on June 10 2009 in General Advice, Q&A