How To Meet A Nice Girl Today Using My Favorite Conversation Hack

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Why Isn’t She Calling You Back?

You spend two hours talking to a girl in a bar and she absolutely loves you. She’s touching you, your faces get close, and you almost make out. But unfortunately your buddy wants to go to a different bar. No big deal, you think, because this is a lock and you’ll just grab her number and bang it on the first date.

In a couple days you call her up and leave a voicemail. One hour passes with nothing, but you’re still confident. But then two hours, three hours, and then four hours. Still nothing. You check your voicemail just in case she called but the phone didn’t ring. Your chest sinks when you hear “No new messages.” What happened? Why didn’t she call you back?

SexyYou’ll never know. You can sit there and analyze and dissect the entire interaction and make a guess on what went wrong but truth is you’ll never find out the real reason. There’s nothing you can even learn from a situation like this because in fact you did build attraction and she did give you the number, perhaps very enthusiastically.

When I started in the game, only one in ten girls called me back. I was certain the problem was with the voicemails I was leaving, so I tried all sorts of craziness, like telling little stories or not leaving messages at all but calling from different numbers. But nothing changed.

The reason her not calling you back has very little to do with the voicemails you are leaving is because…

She has decided whether or not to call you back before you even answer the phone.

In the cases where she didn’t call you back, you were already dead in the water before your dialed her number.

The bad news is that if she doesn’t call you back it’s done. The second call will not help (believe me I tried) and neither does texting. I have experimented with sending a girl a text message like, “What, you met someone cooler than me already?” Sometimes they write back but I still don’t get them out. I’ve never in my life gone out on a date with a girl who didn’t respond to my first call. Forget about it.

It was about a year into the game when I noticed a change. Instead of 1 in 10 girls calling me back, it was more like 1 in 5. I had no idea at the time what I was doing differently besides knowing that my game improved a bit.

Turns out that was the key.

A girl calling you back has more to do with desire than anything else. If she wants you then she’ll call you back, and the only way to make a girl want you is to have TIGHT game where strong attraction is built after the approach.

If girls are not calling you back, don’t look at your phone game, but look in the first five minutes of the interaction with her. Improve that and you will get more callbacks. And improving that takes more approaches, more experimentation, and more practice. There is no secret to it.

Right now as I write this I get 3 out of 4 callbacks, which is a seven times improvement from when I first started in the game. But still you’ll notice that at least 1 out of 4 girls still doesn’t call me back. That means I eat the time I spend with 25% of my efforts.

Therefore I’m better off escalating each interaction as far as I can, even at risk of appearing a little slimey, especially since a call-back is no guarantee that I’ll eventually bang anyway. That’s why I want you to think not about how to get girls to call you back, but how to bang girls without having to worry if they are going to call you back or not.

In my book Bang I share with my best tips for getting the same night bang, including my venue change strategy and also a money line for getting inside her place that has failed me just once in my life (on a feminist, which technically shouldn’t count). Click here to learn more about Bang.

Posted on January 2 2009 in Phone Numbers

How To Get A Girl’s Phone Number

Getting a girl’s number is actually a lot easier than you think, and the reason is not a good one. Turns out that girls will give out their number even if they are not completely sure they want to see the guy again. I’m pretty sure they’d give it out to a monkey if it could talk. Therefore our main goal is always getting her in bed as quickly as possible. When it doesn’t happen, especially if we’re hitting on her during the day, we go for the phone number.

For example if I see you trying to get a number of a plastered girl you met in the bar, I will slap your phone out of your hand. She won’t even remember you the next day!

Only get a phone number because you’ve exhausted all other options, such as the venue change or the same night lay, and NOT because the phone number was your goal all along. That said, here’s how you get numbers…

The key is to go for the date, not the number. Example: “I think we should hang out some time for a _______.” That’s it. If she says yes, take out your phone, and she will start telling your her number without you even having to ask. So really the way to get a girl’s number is to be indirect. Not only does it work but it decreases the chances of her flaking out since she did agree to seeing you again.

If she says she’s busy then that means she doesn’t want to see you again. Who cares, go on to the next girl.

It would be a waste to spend all that time approaching and talking to get her number and then blow it on the phone when you try to set a date. What's even more important than getting a number is knowing what to do with it.

I remember when I went on a number collecting spree for six months just to practice my phone game. I was tired of it costing me notches, and didn't get very far with using e-mail. I tested everything I could, even seemingly basic things like the best times to call, until I settled on the most optimal system that resulted in the greatest number of first dates.

In my book Bang I share with you my phone game in several very detailed pages, from how to get her on the phone, when to text or call her, and how to ask her out. My text messaging template helps you get a girl out on a date with very little work.

It may take a few tries for you to successfully adopt my phone system, but I think it will be a big improvement if you don't already have one in place right now. Click here to learn more about my book Bang today, where it's all spelled out for you in very clear, no-bullshit language.

Posted on July 1 2008 in Phone Numbers