Guys formulate all sorts of ridiculous excuses for why they don’t or shouldn’t approach girls on a regular basis. Picking up girls isn’t easy, and the human mind can play all sorts of crazy tricks to spare you the pain of rejection and the anxiety of approaching a complete stranger. But these excuses are deadly for your game. They swirl around in your head, crippling you from the inside out. Even if a guy continues to approach girls through these excuses, he will transmit an insecure vibe that will severely limit his success.

“The type of girls I like don’t like guys that are of my race”

Race-based excuses are among the most common I hear. I find that they’re most prevalent in guys whose cultures emphasize “modesty” or are racially homogenous (e.g., East Asian cultures, India), but it’s not limited to any one group. The truth is: if you live in large city and pay even a little attention, you will see men of your race with girls from other races. Whether you’re an Indian or Asian guy that wants to go out with white girls, or a white guy that wants to go out with Asian girls, don’t let racial insecurity blind you of your opportunities. Girls want cool, interesting guys. Period. Find an example of a famous, successful man in your race and emulate his style and swagger.

“I’m too short”

There’s no doubt that being tall is an advantage. Every inch over “average” will work in your favor with a lot of girls. That said, I see below-average guys with cute girls all the time. And, of course, I meet plenty of goofy tall guys with no girls or with ugly fatties on their arm. If you’re stocky or short, hit the gym. If you’re below-average height, wearing form-fitting clothing that “adds length” to your stature will do miracles for your appearance, as will maintaining an ideal, slender build.

“I want a nice girlfriend or wife, not to be a pick-up artist”

This is probably the most common—and ridiculous—of the bunch. What guys who believe this don’t realize is that in order to get a quality girlfriend, they need to have the skills to capture her. If you think she’s girlfriend material that likely means that, at any given moment, several guys are thinking the same thing. Plus, a nice, attractive girl gets hit on by several random guys a day.

If you haven’t developed your game skills, there’s no way you’re going to be able to snare your dream girl—even if you do find her. That’s like owning a store and saying you just want one customer to come in and buy all your merchandise so you can retire. The retail business doesn’t work like that and neither does game. The interesting thing is that what you think you want is liable to change once you get to know (and bang) other girls. In other words: you don’t really know what you want.

“When I have money/success I’ll have to beat the girls back with a stick.”

If you believe this, I can guarantee you one thing: you’re in for a major disappointment in a few years. Money doesn’t hurt your chances with girls, but it’s one of the most overrated things in the world of pickup. There’s a reason that high-end escort services are ridiculously profitable: all the lonely rich guys that are working 80 hours weeks to support their lavish lifestyle. For every rich guy with a hot girl, there are 10 dirt-poor artists or street guitarists with a harem of hot girls. Girls like social proof, and money alone doesn’t prove much. Making your money as an international pop star, for example, is way different than making it as a buttoned-down, overworked investment banker. Money by itself won’t make girls—apart from the occasional gold-digger—attracted to you. Don’t waste your best years working your ass off and celibate. Pick up girls while you’re making your bones so that you can get even better ones later, by smartly leveraging your loot.

If any of these excuses sound familiar, you should immediately start working on ridding yourself of this game-killing baggage.

Approaching is the hardest part of the game. There is nothing natural or easy about walking up to a girl you don't know and talking to her in a way that makes her laugh, builds attraction, and ends with her giving you her phone number.

After approaching hundreds of different girls with all types of openers, I finally settled on two that are my "defaults," meaning they are powerful enough that I can use them regardless of the girl or the environment. I share them in my book Bang, along with others you can use for bars, clubs, daytime spots, and even the gym. It has 64 pages on Early Game that focus exclusively on the approach and what to say immediately after. I share dozens of conversation tips with tons of word-for-word examples, and I also teach you the concept of threads to keep the interaction going without having awkward silences.

You can take the time to make up openers on your own, experimenting over the next several months, or you can learn mine and get started using something that works off the bat. If you want to learn my favorite natural openers that are easy to use and actually work, click here to learn more about my book Bang today.

Yes, a big part of being good at game is compiling substantial knowledge on what to say to women in different situations and, with practice, developing the skill of endlessly manufacturing your own things to say. That’s the obvious, most visible (even stereotypical) part of being a pick-up artist. But there’s also a massive intangible, that’s as important—if not more so—to cultivate from the outset: what’s popularly known as “inner game,” but sometimes referred to as “swagger,” “posture,” or “confidence.”

If you asked me to list three things that every successful pick-up artist has in common, I’d probably list these items (in no particular order, since I think their relative intensity varies from case to case):

1. A High-Quality, Congruent Look. This includes his natural, god-given gifts, but more importantly, how he’s optimized that canvas with tight fashion choices and an appropriate grooming regimen.

2. Air-Tight Game. His ability to say and do cool and interesting things in virtually any situation and around diverse types of people—especially hot girls—and convert those interactions into sex.

3. Some Form of Social Proof . Anything publicly visible that demonstrates he’s accepted by desirable people, has exceptional skills of some kind, or is otherwise more “valuable” as a person (e.g., musical skills, talent, popularity, wealth).

Clearly, all of these build on one another and are closely interrelated. An impressive sense of style will naturally add to a guy’s social proof. Conversely, a guy’s social proof miraculously adds to his looks. Everybody knows various examples of this principle: the rich guy with a hot, young girlfriend or the guy with a hot girl on his arm getting looks from all the other girls in the bar.

But one thing that’s threaded deep into the shag of all three of those traits is inner game. Every successful pick-up artist has a rock-solid inner game, created by their advances in those three areas. Or, they’ve progressed in those three areas by virtue of their natural confidence and swagger. It works in both directions. It sounds complicated, but it’s a simple idea. When you look good, you feel good. When you feel good, you act like it. Ever notice that when you’re in a happy, upbeat mood you say funnier things and people tend to migrate toward you?

The opposite is also true. Look around: a cool, single guy that’s dressed stylishly top-to-bottom walks around with a different vibe than a downtrodden married sap with an oversized t-shirt, lame cargo shorts, pushing a baby carriage, with his fat wife walking ahead of him. Do you think girls would notice this difference? Of course. Swagger matters.

As you work on learning to say the right things to girls, go to right places, and not making rookie mistakes like lavishing girls with drinks, keep in mind that you should also be working on your inner game. You should always seek out situations, practices, and people that will enhance it. Optimize your look with nice clothes that fit you properly. Do interesting things that will generate fascinating experiences and, by extension, stories you can tell. Cultivate relationships with cool people that add to your cachet and not detract from it.

All of these things will build on your inner game and redouble the power of every one of your pick-up skills.

It would be a waste to spend all that time approaching and talking to get her number and then blow it on the phone when you try to set a date. What's even more important than getting a number is knowing what to do with it.

I remember when I went on a number collecting spree for six months just to practice my phone game. I was tired of it costing me notches, and didn't get very far with using e-mail. I tested everything I could, even seemingly basic things like the best times to call, until I settled on the most optimal system that resulted in the greatest number of first dates.

In my book Bang I share with you my phone game in several very detailed pages, from how to get her on the phone, when to text or call her, and how to ask her out. My text messaging template helps you get a girl out on a date with very little work.

It may take a few tries for you to successfully adopt my phone system, but I think it will be a big improvement if you don't already have one in place right now. Click here to learn more about my book Bang today, where it's all spelled out for you in very clear, no-bullshit language.

Let me share with you six quick tips that will help you score while on the road…

1. DO YOUR RESEARCH. Before you board the plane, ask your wingmen if they’ve had experiences with girls from that country. When you arrive, make friends with the local guys and ask them for their opinions on the girls. Or go on my travel forum and do a search on the country you want to visit. What you want to do is take some notes to study from before you take the “exam.”

2. ADAPT. On a two week vacation, you simply don’t have the time to learn a new game, but you do have time to make easy adjustments that affect how the locals respond to you.

For example in Peru, the more you look like a gringo (think Abercrombie & Fitch), the better you’ll do with the girls in the club, so leave the Ecuadorian soccer jersey at home. In Argentina the kiss is a big deal, so delay your kiss attempt longer than usual so you don’t get blown out early.

3. APPROACH IN MASSIVE NUMBERS. The big myth of traveling is that you will get more abroad than you do at home, but with so many obstacles (no cell phone, no pad, no wingmen, language barrier, lack of venue knowledge, and so on), the only way to make up for them is to approach a lot more than you normally do.

With a large percentage of girls closed off to having sex with a gringo who is only in town for a weekend, sometimes you need to just keep going until you find a slutty girl who speaks your language. It’ll probably take a lot more energy than you’re used to at home.

4. PUT IN THAT QUALITY TIME. One night stands with American, English, Irish, and Australian girls aren’t a problem because they are the easiest in the world. There are some exceptions, but keep in mind you may need to put in more face time with a local until you bang. Don’t get discouraged if she doesn’t put out on the first date and simply keep going as long as you’re getting closer to sex on each date.

5. TAKE IT EASY ON THE ALCOHOL. While at home you’re mostly on auto-pilot at bars you know with wingmen you trust, but when you’re abroad you need that extra energy because of the increased number of approaches you’ll have to do. Therefore it’s far better to pound Red Bull than a six-pack of beer.

6. BE THE LIFE OF THE PARTY. When you can’t communicate with words, let your fun nature and vibe do all the talking. Dance with her, smile, touch, and genuinely have a good time. Positive energy is an aphrodisiac that girls are drawn into.

Understand: if you can get laid with pretty girls who barely speak your language then there aren’t many challenges you can’t face. Banging abroad is one of the most worthiest tests of your game.

The reason I was able to learn how to pick up in a different country is because of my willingness to experiment and try new things just to see what happens. It took me six years of experimenting at home with American girls until the result was an optimized game system that worked more often than not.

Before that I was your typical nice guy who was the “emotional tampon” of girls I liked. I’m not sure why I thought it was a good idea to be friends first with girls but turns out a lot of guys have that “strategy.” Unfortunately it simply doesn’t work.

After college you have a lot of guys working their ass off to get that fancy business card with the important job title. But what a rude surprise when they find out that doesn’t work either! Girls don’t care about your job or your bank account if you don’t have the right game to back it up.

In my book Bang I teach you the correct strategy to go from meet to bedroom in the shortest amount of time with girls that you actually like, instead of the below-average ones who like you. We’re not going to brag about our job or luxury condo or anything like that. Instead we’re going to use my conversational strategy and dozens of little tricks that work. It’s a system I still use today.

I’m confident that Bang will put your a lot closer to picking up girls you like, both regularly and consistency. Click here to read sample pages.

If you’re in bed with a girl for a while and keep hitting a wall, say the following:

“How about we take a quick nap?”

What girl refuses a nap? After messing around for a while you both will be in half-sleep mode anyway.

Then after a couple minutes say, “I don’t sleep in my jeans though.”

Take off your jeans without waiting for her to respond. Then say, “You sleep in your jeans? They’re uncomfortable, no?”

Most girls will then reluctantly take off their jeans, maybe adding a “But we’re not doing anything” comment. Agree with her. If she is hesitant to take them off, say, “You can take off your jeans but I don’t want you to get too excited because I just want to sleep a little.”

The whole point of this is getting those jeans off because subsequent dry humping with only boxers and panties will turn her on more than jean-on-jean dry humping. The odds of sex happening when she gets down to her panties is extremely high (I estimate 80%). Try it.

While it’s essential you know how to talk to a girl and make her feel attracted to you, it’s even more important to know the little tricks and moves that get her clothes off as efficiently as possible. This is what I call being “sleazy.” It pays to be a sleazy because the girl is not going to do it for you unless she’s exceptionally drunk or slutty.

In my book Bang I teach you all my escalation moves that increase the chances of you getting the bang. I even give you an exact line to use when you want to get the condom without making the moment awkward. Click here to read my condom line on the Bang homepage.

You don’t know how to share interesting experiences that not only make her wish she was there with you, but also make her want to be with you in future stories as well.

2. You’re too needy.

You’re like an old woman who constantly needs attention. You freak out if a girl doesn’t call back right away. You worry when there is nothing to worry about.

3. You don’t know how to build attraction.

You don’t know what a girl’s buttons are. You don’t know how to talk to her in a way that makes her more interested in you as time goes on.

4. You haven’t optimized your look.

Have you taken the time with different hair and beard configurations, or do you still look the same as five years ago, wearing that same shirt with the stain on the sleeve? You don’t need model good-looks to have sex with pretty girls.

5. You don’t drink.

Alcohol is a magical drug that makes getting laid significantly easier, and I’m not talking about getting girls drunk. Just one drink increases the chance you will get laid about 20%. Three drinks in her system is all you need.

6. You don’t work out.

You’re a fright to look at naked. You don’t have to be a meathead, but if you feel good about your body then you’ll feel good about yourself, and this comes across in a positive attitude with girls you talk to.

7. You’re a pussy.

You don’t want to get rejected. You don’t understand that guys who get the most women also get rejected the most.

8. You don’t know how to make a girl laugh.

Two types of humor work well on girls: sarcasm (not the biting kind) and fake answers. An example of the latter: “You want to know what I do? Well I’m living off the land right now. Yeah I have a farm. I grow tomatoes. Do you like tomatoes?”

9. You have an extreme deformity that hopefully can be fixed with either hard work (obesity) or surgery (gigantic nose).

Modern science has come a long way.

10. You don’t have confidence.

You don’t look in the mirror and like what you see. You don’t believe that you were meant to sleep with lots of girls. You’ve given up and sloth around playing video games or poker, praying and hoping that maybe one day you’ll get lucky instead of doing the work necessary to be an interesting, confident man that girls like.

11. You limit your prospect pool by only going after girls at work or in your meager social circle.

You think the only way to get a girl is to have some sort of prior introduction. You’ve never tried walking up to her cold in a bar, coffee shop, or bookstore.

12. You believe you need to be friends with a girl first.

You think that a girl has to see you as a buddy before she can see you as a lover. Unfortunately there is no animal lust in friendship. By being friends first, you almost guarantee that that’s all you’ll ever be.

13. You do dinner dates.

They greatly decrease your chances of getting action. Not only does all that food impede the absorption of the wine (see number five), but you’re sitting far away from her, unable to touch. Do drink dates instead where you can sit right next to her as that alcohol takes hold.

14. You’re not persistent.

You give up way too easily. You don’t understand that you may need to get rejected a few dozen times before you come across a girl that likes you. Maybe more. Second to not even trying, giving up too early is the most common mistake guys make.

15. Your breath reeks.

It doesn’t matter how fun or good-looking you are, but if your breath smells then you’re not getting anything.

16. You have limited life experiences.

It’s hard to hold a conversation with a women if all you know about is sports. You can fake it a bit if you’re a voracious reader, but the best way to talk about interesting things is to do interesting things. Chances are that doesn’t involve a computer or television.

17. You’re cheap.

You need to pay to play. This means keeping up a presentable appearance and going to places where the women are. Even the cheapest drinks at happy hour bars are going to cost you money, and many of those dates will not result in sex. Unless you’re in Thailand paying $10 a bang you’re going to have to get used to the idea that it costs money to get laid. Just don’t confuse this with showing off your money to women. If you’re interesting and make a girl laugh, she won’t care you’re poor in order to have sex with you, though she may not see you as long-term potential.

18. You’re not cool.

Do other people not want to hang out with you? Do they dislike your company? Do people make fun of you behind your back? Do you have trouble maintaining friendships? Do you look or dress like an idiot? While the definition of being cool depends on where you live, it does involve a degree of fitting into society, as the girls you will be trying to bang live in said society as well. If you’re going to be uncool, then you will have to hang in places where uncool girls are and try to get with them (e.g. goth bar).

To improve your game sometimes it’s more important to stop doing bad things than to learn a new routine or opener. It’s better to be just a normal guy who can have a conversation than a socially awkward reject who turns women off. I learned this during my seven year quest to learn game, where I methodically broke down all my behaviors and noted what worked and what didn’t. I compiled all that into my inexpensive book Bang, which teaches you everything I’ve learned from meeting girls to how to approach them to dating strategy to sealing the deal and a lot more. Within only two months I think you will see a huge difference in how women respond to you. Check out sample pages of Bang today before you buy.

This is the number one problem I see guys do, especially in the first 30 minutes of talking to a girl. They don’t realize that by bending over they are saying, “God I’m so happy to be talking to you right now.” Or in a bar they talk right next to the girl’s ear when it isn’t even loud. The last thing you want a girl to know is that you are excited to be talking to her because it sends the signal you are inexperienced, don’t have success with girls, and ultimately, have low value. Lean back instead and let her be the one to come into you, and if you create the least bit of interest she will.

2. Stop Asking For Permission

Can we dance? Can I have your number? Can I kiss you? Because guys don’t know what it’s like when someone asks for permission to escalate intimacy, they don’t realize how lame it is for them to do so. Asking for permission introduces an awkward moment where the girl’s brain floods with reasons not to do what you are asking to. Plus you make it seem like you are scared of getting rejected, a quality not attractive to most women. Instead of asking, just do it and see what happens.

3. Memorize One Excellent, Breezy Story

When you first start talking to a girl, she has no idea who you are. If you talked to her because she is cute, chances are she gets talked to by a lot of guys. Separate yourself from the pack early on by telling her a story that hits on many of your positive qualities, such as your confidence, athleticism, sense of adventure, intelligence, humor, wit, story-telling ability, and so on. Because girls read between the lines, the story will not just be a story—it will be a representation of you that does not come across as bragging.

To pull this off, when you are in conversation and it is clear you have her attention, say, “That reminds me of when….” and then begin your story. I like going into stories about travel now, but before that was gym stories, where for instance I would tell girls the very true account of how one particularly gay guy stalked me in the gym and grabbed my hand while I was naked in the shower. If you are not confident of your story-telling abilities, understand that the best way to be good at telling stories is to expose yourself to good stories.

4. Stop Using The Word “Hot” To Describe Women

Have you noticed how easy it seems to attract girls who you are not that attracted to? Since you think of hot girls as so much more valuable than mediocre ones, you are more likely to behave in a way that makes it clear to her that she is indeed too valuable for you, without even realizing what you’re doing. This is the phenomenon where bad, needy game “leaks” out as a result of your thoughts, without conscious effort on your part. If you want to get physical with hot girls, you need to master your thinking of them first. From here on out, no girl is hot, and there are no tens. She’s either “cute” or “alright.” Don’t be that guy who falls captive to every girl he sees. Instead, trick your mind into lowering her value so that your game towards her is tighter.

5. Get Rejected Immediately!

Go up to a cute girl you don’t know in the next day and start a conversation with what you already know as a man. Make up an opener or just ask how she’s doing. Chances are she will end the conversation in a polite manner, typical of the “rejections” you will face. It may sting that this girl made it clear she doesn’t want to have nothing to do with you, but realize that the only way to perfect your game is to interact like this with a couple hundred girls. THERE IS NO OTHER WAY! This means you will have to branch out from your school, work, or social circle comfort zones. Accept that 99% of girls on this Earth do not ever want to have sex with you, get over it, and keep going until you find the ones that do.

6. Take Your Hands Out Of Your Pockets

Take your hands of your pockets. If you are at a bar looking like you are bored, resigning yourself to standing around and staring at the TV, don’t expect to get a positive response if you approach a girl. She notices what you do before you walk up to her, and if you seem like a buzzkill, she will be less likely to talk to you. While you don’t have to jump off the wall and be that annoying guy who talks loud and high-fives everyone, don’t stand around looking like someone just stood you up. Interact with your friends or the bartender. Not only will staying in an active, talkative state help you when you finally do approach, it makes it much more likely that you even will.

7. Stop Giving Direct Answers

Evade her questions with humor or counter-questions instead, withholding for as long as reasonably possible the answers to her questions. Not only does this show you aren’t trying to impress her, but it also makes her think you are hiding something. This shady vibe will keep the conversation going and make her curious about what is hiding behind the box. You immediately stand out because most men try to appease a girl by immediately answering questions in the hopes she will like him. By doing the opposite, she sticks around to figure out who the hell you are (or think you are), but by then it will be too late—your fish hook is in her and you can run deeper material with her full attention.

Some of these things I learned from my own experiences and others from guys who taught me everything they knew about game. During an intense six year period starting in 2001 I was going out four nights a week throwing everything I had at the girls I wanted to sleep with. I did things like ask them why they were so drunk and even approached with stick figure drawings on napkins to make them laugh.

My learning curve was long and hard and not until the second year did a reliable system start to become clear. For the next four years after that I perfected and refined it into something that made my life a lot easier when it came to getting laid. I finally wrote my system down in a book called Bang.

Bang is a 60,000 word textbook that teaches you the skills to consistently get laid. I include step-by-step instructions on how to build attraction and escalate intimacy with the girls you want to have sex with. My goal was to create a guide that was all you need to get laid. The books contain hundreds of tips to help you accomplish that goal.

I have uploaded several sample pages from my book on its webpage. I also included my Condom Line, the line I say when I need to get the condom in a smooth way without ruining the moment. Click here to learn more about Bang.