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4 Lame Excuses That Keep You From Getting Girls

The same way guys that are good with girls tend to have certain things in common, guys that are terrible with girls have their own set of things in common: game-killing excuses.

Guys formulate all sorts of ridiculous excuses for why they don’t or shouldn’t approach girls on a regular basis. Hitting on girls isn’t easy, and the human mind can play all sorts of crazy tricks to spare you the pain of rejection and the anxiety of approaching a complete stranger. But these excuses are deadly for your game. They swirl around in your head, crippling you from the inside out. Even if a guy continues to approach girls through these excuses, he will transmit an insecure vibe that will severely limit his success.

“The type of girls I like don’t like guys that are of my race”

Race-based excuses are among the most common I hear. I find that they’re most prevalent in guys whose cultures emphasize “modesty” or are racially homogenous (e.g., East Asian cultures, India), but it’s not limited to any one group. The truth is: if you live in large city and pay even a little attention, you will see men of your race with girls from other races. Whether you’re an Indian or Asian guy that wants to go out with white girls, or a white guy that wants to go out with Asian girls, don’t let racial insecurity blind you of your opportunities. Girls want cool, interesting guys. Period. Find an example of a famous, successful man in your race and emulate his style and swagger.

“I’m too short”

There’s no doubt that being tall is an advantage. Every inch over “average” will work in your favor with a lot of girls. That said, I see below-average guys with cute girls all the time. And, of course, I meet plenty of goofy tall guys with no girls or with ugly fatties on their arm. If you’re stocky or short, hit the gym. If you’re below-average height, wearing form-fitting clothing that “adds length” to your stature will do miracles for your appearance, as will maintaining an ideal, slender build.

“I want a nice girlfriend or wife, not to be a player”

This is probably the most common—and ridiculous—of the bunch. What guys who believe this don’t realize is that in order to get a quality girlfriend, they need to have the skills to capture her. If you think she’s girlfriend material that likely means that, at any given moment, several guys are thinking the same thing. Plus, a nice, attractive girl gets hit on by several random guys a day.

If you haven’t developed your game skills, there’s no way you’re going to be able to snare your dream girl—even if you do find her. That’s like owning a store and saying you just want one customer to come in and buy all your merchandise so you can retire. The retail business doesn’t work like that and neither does game. The interesting thing is that what you think you want is liable to change once you get to know (and bang) other girls. In other words: you don’t really know what you want.

“When I have money/success I’ll have to beat the girls back with a stick.”

If you believe this, I can guarantee you one thing: you’re in for a major disappointment in a few years. Money doesn’t hurt your chances with girls, but it’s one of the most overrated things in the world of game. There’s a reason that high-end escort services are ridiculously profitable: all the lonely rich guys that are working 80 hours weeks to support their lavish lifestyle. For every rich guy with a hot girl, there are 10 dirt-poor artists or street guitarists with a harem of hot girls. Girls like social proof, and money alone doesn’t prove much. Making your money as an international pop star, for example, is way different than making it as a buttoned-down, overworked investment banker. Money by itself won’t make girls—apart from the occasional gold-digger—attracted to you. Don’t waste your best years working your ass off and celibate. Hit on girls while you’re making your bones so that you can get even better ones later, by smartly leveraging your loot.

If any of these excuses sound familiar, you should immediately start working on ridding yourself of this game-killing baggage.


Posted on June 28 2011 in Game Fundamentals, How To Get Laid

The Most Important Part of Being Good With Girls

A lot guys that are new to game get overly focused on the minutiae of exactly what to say to girls. That’s not surprising. It is important, and it’s one of those “learning bridges” we all cross at some point near the beginning. Plus, there’s a popular, though grossly distorted, misconception that being a player is just about speaking magic incantations that “manipulate” or “trick” girls into sleeping with you. Even though that’s monumentally ridiculous, it’s no wonder that inexperienced guys, upon hearing this, run to quickly learn those tricks. But anyone that’s spent any amount of time actually trying to game girls quickly realizes that it involves way more than a few magical lines you can learn overnight. After all, you can say the absolute “perfect thing” to a girl, at precisely the right time, and still strike out.

Yes, a big part of being good at game is compiling substantial knowledge on what to say to women in different situations and, with practice, developing the skill of endlessly manufacturing your own things to say. That’s the obvious, most visible (even stereotypical) part of being a player. But there’s also a massive intangible, that’s as important—if not more so—to cultivate from the outset: what’s popularly known as “inner game,” but sometimes referred to as “swagger,” “posture,” or “confidence.”

If you asked me to list three things that every successful player has in common, I’d probably list these items (in no particular order, since I think their relative intensity varies from case to case):

1. A High-Quality, Congruent Look. This includes his natural, god-given gifts, but more importantly, how he’s optimized that canvas with tight fashion choices and an appropriate grooming regimen.

2. Air-Tight Game. His ability to say and do cool and interesting things in virtually any situation and around diverse types of people—especially hot girls—and convert those interactions into sex.

3. Some Form of Social Proof . Anything publicly visible that demonstrates he’s accepted by desirable people, has exceptional skills of some kind, or is otherwise more “valuable” as a person (e.g., musical skills, talent, popularity, wealth).

Clearly, all of these build on one another and are closely interrelated. An impressive sense of style will naturally add to a guy’s social proof. Conversely, a guy’s social proof miraculously adds to his looks. Everybody knows various examples of this principle: the rich guy with a hot, young girlfriend or the guy with a hot girl on his arm getting looks from all the other girls in the bar.

But one thing that’s threaded deep into the shag of all three of those traits is inner game. Every successful player has a rock-solid inner game, created by their advances in those three areas. Or, they’ve progressed in those three areas by virtue of their natural confidence and swagger. It works in both directions. It sounds complicated, but it’s a simple idea. When you look good, you feel good. When you feel good, you act like it. Ever notice that when you’re in a happy, upbeat mood you say funnier things and people tend to migrate toward you?

The opposite is also true. Look around: a cool, single guy that’s dressed stylishly top-to-bottom walks around with a different vibe than a downtrodden married sap with an oversized t-shirt, lame cargo shorts, pushing a baby carriage, with his fat wife walking ahead of him. Do you think girls would notice this difference? Of course. Swagger matters.

As you work on learning to say the right things to girls, go to right places, and not making rookie mistakes like lavishing girls with drinks, keep in mind that you should also be working on your inner game. You should always seek out situations, practices, and people that will enhance it. Optimize your look with nice clothes that fit you properly. Do interesting things that will generate fascinating experiences and, by extension, stories you can tell. Cultivate relationships with cool people that add to your cachet and not detract from it.

All of these things will build on your inner game and redouble the power of every one of your player skills.


Posted on June 15 2011 in General Advice, How To Get Laid

How To Get Laid While Traveling

The assumption a lot of guys make about girls is that they all respond the same, that game is game and things should work regardless of where the girl is from. This is what I believed when I exported my “Western game” to South America, but after six months my results were meager and much less than I was getting in the States.

Let me share with you six quick tips that will help you score while on the road…

1. DO YOUR RESEARCH. Before you board the plane, ask your wingmen if they’ve had experiences with girls from that country. When you arrive, make friends with the local guys and ask them for their opinions on the girls. Or go on my travel forum and do a search on the country you want to visit. What you want to do is take some notes to study from before you take the “exam.”

2. ADAPT. On a two week vacation, you simply don’t have the time to learn a new game, but you do have time to make easy adjustments that affect how the locals respond to you.

travelFor example in Peru, the more you look like a gringo (think Abercrombie & Fitch), the better you’ll do with the girls in the club, so leave the Ecuadorian soccer jersey at home. In Argentina the kiss is a big deal, so delay your kiss attempt longer than usual so you don’t get blown out early.

3. APPROACH IN MASSIVE NUMBERS. The big myth of traveling is that you will get more abroad than you do at home, but with so many obstacles (no cell phone, no pad, no wingmen, language barrier, lack of venue knowledge, and so on), the only way to make up for them is to approach a lot more than you normally do.

With a large percentage of girls closed off to having sex with a gringo who is only in town for a weekend, sometimes you need to just keep going until you find a slutty girl who speaks your language. It’ll probably take a lot more energy than you’re used to at home.

4. PUT IN THAT QUALITY TIME. One night stands with American, English, Irish, and Australian girls aren’t a problem because they are the easiest in the world. There are some exceptions, but keep in mind you may need to put in more face time with a local until you bang. Don’t get discouraged if she doesn’t put out on the first date and simply keep going as long as you’re getting closer to sex on each date.

5. TAKE IT EASY ON THE ALCOHOL. While at home you’re mostly on auto-pilot at bars you know with wingmen you trust, but when you’re abroad you need that extra energy because of the increased number of approaches you’ll have to do. Therefore it’s far better to pound Red Bull than a six-pack of beer.

6. BE THE LIFE OF THE PARTY. When you can’t communicate with words, let your fun nature and vibe do all the talking. Dance with her, smile, touch, and genuinely have a good time. Positive energy is an aphrodisiac that girls are drawn into.

Understand: if you can get laid with pretty girls who barely speak your language then there aren’t many challenges you can’t face. Banging abroad is one of the most worthiest tests of your game.

The reason I was able to learn how to game in a different country is because of my willingness to experiment and try new things just to see what happens. It took me six years of experimenting at home with American girls until the result was an optimized game system that worked more often than not.

Before that I was your typical nice guy who was the “emotional tampon” of girls I liked. I’m not sure why I thought it was a good idea to be friends first with girls but turns out a lot of guys have that “strategy.” Unfortunately it simply doesn’t work.

After college you have a lot of guys working their ass off to get that fancy business card with the important job title. But what a rude surprise when they find out that doesn’t work either! Girls don’t care about your job or your bank account if you don’t have the right game to back it up.

In my book Bang I teach you the correct strategy to go from meet to bedroom in the shortest amount of time with girls that you actually like, instead of the below-average ones who like you. We’re not going to brag about our job or luxury condo or anything like that. Instead we’re going to use my conversational strategy and dozens of little tricks that work. It’s a system I still use today.

I’m confident that Bang will put your a lot closer to getting girls you like, both regularly and consistency. Click here to read sample pages.

Posted on December 8 2009 in How To Get Laid, Travel

Simple Move To Defeat Bedroom Resistance

Here’s a simple move I came up with in Colombia, a place where the girls put up a lot of boner-busting resistance before the bang.

If you’re in bed with a girl for a while and keep hitting a wall, say the following:

“How about we take a quick nap?”

What girl refuses a nap? After messing around for a while you both will be in half-sleep mode anyway.

Ask her to take a napThen after a couple minutes say, “I don’t sleep in my jeans though.”

Take off your jeans without waiting for her to respond. Then say, “You sleep in your jeans? They’re uncomfortable, no?”

Most girls will then reluctantly take off their jeans, maybe adding a “But we’re not doing anything” comment. Agree with her. If she is hesitant to take them off, say, “You can take off your jeans but I don’t want you to get too excited because I just want to sleep a little.”

The whole point of this is getting those jeans off because subsequent dry humping with only boxers and panties will turn her on more than jean-on-jean dry humping. The odds of sex happening when she gets down to her panties is extremely high (I estimate 80%). Try it.

While it’s essential you know how to talk to a girl and make her feel attracted to you, it’s even more important to know the little tricks and moves that get her clothes off as efficiently as possible. This is what I call being “sleazy.” It pays to be a sleazy because the girl is not going to do it for you unless she’s exceptionally drunk or slutty.

In my book Bang I teach you all my escalation moves that increase the chances of you getting the bang. I even give you an exact line to use when you want to get the condom without making the moment awkward. Click here to read my condom line on the Bang homepage.

Posted on July 21 2009 in How To Get Laid, Sex