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How Your Best Friends Try To Hold You Back From Getting Laid

One of the best predictors of how well you do with girls is the company you keep.

When I was in high school—and couldn’t score a girl to save my life—I had two core friends, who we’ll call Kenny and Ron, with whom I’d hang out at lunch and talk about painfully lame things like word puns and the latest computer games. One day, Kenny didn’t show up and, after that, started showing up only intermittently. On further investigation, Ron and I discovered that Kenny was secretly hanging out with this ugly girl from math class. Even though we knew she was ugly, we couldn’t say anything because he had gained access to vagina, something that, at the time, seemed as elusive as El Dorado to us. Before long, Kenny started hanging with a new group of guys altogether, each with their own girl. And, not long after that, Kenny upgraded the ugly girl to this dumb bitch I hated, but reluctantly admitted was “kind of hot.” We saw little of Kenny after that, though he would still grace us with occasional courtesy visits and would still sit with us in class sometimes.

I didn’t fully understand what happened until years later. At the time, I remember oversimplifying the situation, “punk-ass left his homies for a girl.” But the truth was, he wasn’t just hanging out with the girl. He had upgraded us too, like he had done with the poor girl from math class.

The newer you are togame, the higher the odds that you have one or more friends like us. Like minds congregate, and the longer you marinate in involuntary abstinence or general uncoolness, the more dead weight you tend to aquire. What’s worse, you reinforce each others’ weaknesses, hindering one another like crabs in a bucket. None of you improve your condition, but could if you only cooperated and madea concerted effort.

At a certain point, I remember taking inventory of my own friends and realizing that I didn’t have a single one that could, and would, approach a group of girls, get laid regularly, or give me any remotely useful advice on women. My friends were now holding me back.

I’ve since learned a lame friend can hinder you in a medley of ways:

1. The Passive Cockblock

When you approach girls he fawns on them, says something stupid, acts nervous, acts creepy, or simply looks goofy. Or, he stands at an uncomfortable distance while you’re talking to girls, saying nothing.

2. The Semi-Intentional Cockblock

Crazed by the prospect of talking to cute girls, he goes for the girl you worked for, like a thirsty wanderer in the desert going for the last bottle of Vitamin Water. He adds a revolting air of desperation, which is girl-kryptonite.

3. Discouraging You or Bringing You Down with Pessimistic Outlook

A lot of your success with women hinges on cultivating an upbeat social mood. This guy kills that in its crib by constantly talking about his failures and poo-pooing the realities of the bar you’re in, “the girls in this city,” or bugging to leave.

4. Imparting an Unshakeable “Stink of Death” on You

Stands there awkwardly, with his drink held tightly against his chest, glaring at the cute girls, all while standing next to you. It’s like hanging a sign around your neck that says “lame and sexless.”

5. Judges You and Your Approaches, Laughs at You

This is probably the worst kind. He claims to know about girls, talks shit when he sees you strike out, but does nothing, making a hard thing harder.

So, if you have lame friends, you have a choice: cut them off completely, try to educate them, or compartmentalize them into a non-girl part of your life. In my experience, trying to teach guys game that haven’t sought it out on their own is an uphill, frustrating, and ultimately fruitless battle. Most guys, unless they’re complete turds, are also not deserving of a complete cut-off.

Best to realize that you need to do what Ken did to me years ago: demote your lame friends and spend more time with guys that can help you advance.

 

Posted on May 31 2011 in General Advice, High School & College

How To Pick Up College Chicks

One thing you have to realize about college girls is that they don’t have a life experience. They’ve been raised in this cocoon of shopping malls and MTV, so it is a little harder to hit their emotional buttons of attraction and even love. They are also more looks oriented, which is generally not good if you’re a good looking guy.

But there is a good side: they are more susceptible to game from a fun and cocky guy. Think of their buttons are more primitive than an older woman, and you will need far less words and more action to get in their pants.

For example, with an older woman you meet in a bar or club, you have to talk to them for an extended period of time before you get their number, but with a college girls you can sit next to her in class, chat up about the subject at hand, toss out a couple jokes, and then suggest a meet up later to study for an exam. It takes much less work to get them out than it does someone else you meet outside the college setting. In fact, using studying as an excuse to get more exposure to her is not a bad idea to transition to something where alcohol is involved, like a party or bar. If she is underage then it definitely will be a party.

Another way to build attraction with college girls is through jealousy. If she thinks that you are successful with women, then your chances with her are much higher. Make sure you are on friendly terms with as many decent looking women as you can find and don’t be afraid to tell stories of your “friend” and how “she” did so and so. Your Facebook page can also be a tool that you use to make it seem like you are a desirable man. Once there is a number exchange, you’ll probably be using text message as the principal way to communicate with her.

Next up is the numbers game. It makes little sense to work only on one college girl at a time. Assuming each one has a large network of friends, there has to be at least one guy that is on her radar. It’s smart work on as many girls as you can at the same time until it clicks with one of them. Don’t be the guy who only has this one girl he’s idolizing and then missing signals from all other girls.

When it comes time to finding out if a girl is interested in you or not, a good technique is to never introduce yourself to her. Always wait to see if she asks you for your name. If she doesn’t ask you for your name, then chances are she is not interested. Always monitor if she is asking you questions about yourself and your background as an indicator to whether you are getting green lights or not.

Flirting and building attraction is crucial when it comes to helping the girl decide that she wants to sleep with you. Before I knew how attraction really worked, I'd approach a girl and talk about boring topics such as work or her favorite movies, and then she would politely excuse herself from the conversation only a couple minutes into it. But now I know better. When you talk about more interesting topics, she sees you as more interesting. It's as simple as that. With a couple additional techniques, the "interesting" is turned into strong attraction.

Once attraction is built you can get her number and take her on a date or go for the one night stand (my preferred method). I teach you how to do all this in my book Bang, which details my complete banging system with step-by-step strategies such as The Four Key Moves To Intimacy (for when you want to kiss her) and my bedroom technique for sealing the deal. And of course my book tells you how to keep a fun conversation going, whether you just met her or are on a date.

If you had a system for building strong attraction with random girls you meet, would you get laid more than you are now? If you answered yes, then click here to learn more about Bang today.

Posted on July 9 2008 in High School & College

How To Pick Up Girls On Facebook

Facebook is harder to meet girls than on Myspace because of the privacy filter. Girls on Facebook can set their profile so that you can’t even message them unless you are a friend or friend of a friend. The only option that leaves you is the poke.

You can poke anyone on Facebook regardless if you are their friend or not. It’s the only way to communicate with a girl you like, so it’s the method we are going to use to game girls on Facebook. But first there is one major thing you need to get in order…

Your profile pictures have to be awesome. And I mean AWESOME. The key is quality so get four or five of your best looking photos in fun settings. Have one at the party, one on the beach, one traveling, one serious and alone, and so on. Each one should show a strong part of your personality, because the girl is only going to skim the words in your profile. Your pictures are your profile.

You must also have at least one photo with an attractive girl, preferably many attractive girls. This is called “social proof” and it tells the girl that you are not a loser who has never spoken to a girl before. If you don’t have above-average looks, just take a little more care in which photos you upload.

Most of the work to succeeding on Facebook is before you poke her. She will receive the poke, look at your pictures, and then if she likes them she will poke back. After that simply add her as a friend and get ready to message her.

Your first message should be composed of two things:

1. Make a quick joke. Something like “Hey… nice poking skill.” It doesn’t have to be involved.

2. Ask a question based on a piece of information from her profile. If she likes a band you also like, say “What do you know about Band?”

Hopefully that leads to a back and forth conversation where you can eventually ask her out for a drink. Remember the game here is numbers, so poke tons of girls and see which ones poke you back.

 

Posted on June 17 2008 in General Advice, High School & College

How To Flirt In High School

I’m going to assume that you are in high school right now, and if you’re not then I’m contacting the FBI because you are a pervert (kidding). Just be sure to check your state’s age of consent before you hit on the young girls.

High school girls are a little different from ones in college and beyond. They are not yet emotionally developed so you will be unable to connect with them by using complicated or involved routines. They take cues from who they should like through their friends, so if her friends don’t think you are cool then you have absolutely no chance. If it happens that you meet her without her friends around but she needs their validation, you will not get anywhere. She’ll just freeze up and not talk to you.

On the other hand if she is the independent type without a lot of friends, then you can hit on her like you normally would an older girl. It comes down to if she is the popular cliquey type or not. If she is then your job is harder; otherwise it’s easier.

The best way to flirt with high school girls is to establish fast interest and then make it seem like you don’t like her. For some reason this formula is like crack to the high school girl. You want to get off the on the right foot by making her laugh or having a solid first conversation, then follow them with being aloof and teasing her mercifully. The more she thinks you don’t like her, the more she will like you.

This strategy sometimes works on older chicks, but it’s much more deadly when flirting with high school girls. You have to be that guy that simply doesn’t give a fuck but is cool and mostly friendly around her friends. There will be a moment when it’s obvious she likes you because she keeps asking you questions. That’s when you get her isolated and go for the kill, usually after playing the text messaging game.

Meeting high school girls is easy if you are in high school (obviously), but if you’re not in high school then your best bet is the mall on the weekends, especially the food court. The food court is like home base for the high school crowd and you will have to approach with something like, “You guys go to ________ high school right?” If all else fails then you can always hit on your teacher.

Flirting and building attraction is crucial when it comes to helping the girl decide that she wants to sleep with you. Before I knew how attraction really worked, I'd approach a girl and talk about boring topics such as work or her favorite movies, and then she would politely excuse herself from the conversation only a couple minutes into it. But now I know better. When you talk about more interesting topics, she sees you as more interesting. It's as simple as that. With a couple additional techniques, the "interesting" is turned into strong attraction.

Once attraction is built you can get her number and take her on a date or go for the one night stand (my preferred method). I teach you how to do all this in my book Bang, which details my complete banging system with step-by-step strategies such as The Four Key Moves To Intimacy (for when you want to kiss her) and my bedroom technique for sealing the deal. And of course my book tells you how to keep a fun conversation going, whether you just met her or are on a date.

If you had a system for building strong attraction with random girls you meet, would you get laid more than you are now? If you answered yes, then click here to learn more about Bang today.

Posted on June 6 2008 in High School & College