I’m doing good in initial approaches and picking up girls on one night stands. However seeing these girls again isn’t going too well. I have thought about the fact they might be getting buyers remorse because a few occasions have been drunken sex at a party. We have fun but I doubt the adequate comfort level of say 7 hours that Mystery talks about is reached.

Also little conversation is had, it’s mostly just both of our hormones in action. Some of these girls I have tried to turn into fuck buddies but it hasn’t gone according to plan. I normally send a text 2-3 days later saying whatsup girly or you were a playful girl sat night. They text back saying “hey! how are you blah blah.” I say, “good you etc etc wanna hang out tonight?” They say sorry I have work or some shit. Should I be calling even though they don’t have my number, might get freaked out that I’m calling. What are your thoughts here?

On that note what are some good initial text messages to send to a girl and then follow up texts?

Also what are your thoughts on drinking when you go out? I still feel a little uncomfortable in a club sober but feel that approaching this way will only tighten up my game.

How much does a players living quarters affect things? I currently live with a hot 20 year old girl who has a b/f. We have never hooked up although I kinda only see her as a friend. Sometimes it has felt weird bringing a girl back as I know she can hear us. Would be cool to live with some guys and bring back a few girls together. There might be a 20 year old guy moving in which would be cool. What are your thoughts on living arrangements in general?

Last last question, thinking about joining a fraternity next year. It will cost a little bit of money but I am working this summer. Friends in there say they are banging hotties l, r and centre. Then might move into the frat house. What do ya reckon on this (might be a stupid question)?

My Reply:

I don’t think it has anything to do with it being a one night stand because I’ve dated many girls in that way (banging in much less time than 7 hours). The big problem is your attempt to move them into fuck buddy status immediately. A girl will be a slut for a night but she won’t knowingly be the fuck buddy after just one sex episode.

“Wanna hang tonight?”

It doesn’t work like that. You have to try and date them normally by giving at least one days notice, preferably two. We know she’s a slut but don’t treat her like one while she’s sober. As for texting game, keep it very simple and logistical in nature. No jokes, no stories, no flirting. Just “Hey what’s up, are you free on so and so?”

I drink when I go out, usually capping it at 3 drinks (after that my game declines). If I’m in a social setting where 95% of people are drinking, it’d be more unnatural not to drink.

Living quarters definitely affects things but as I made it work when I lived with my dad (even bringing girls there), it doesn’t hurt as much as most people think. If I had my pick, I’d live with one other friend very close to a nightlife area. This would drastically increase the amount of one night stands I get. “Hey you want to have a drink at my place… I live four blocks away.” That has a lot more sway then if you live over a half-hour away.

If you can join a frat, do it. It’s probably the best thing you can do to banging a lot of chicks in college.

The whole point of the game, besides some cheap thrills in the sack, is to find the quality girl you deserve instead of having to settle like most guys do. I remember the time when I personally couldn't even have conversations with pretty girls. I would just stare at them and do nothing, hoping that by some miracle of God they would come talk to me first. But they never did.

My problem was part lack of confidence, part fear, and part inexperience. Yet once I decided to take control of the problem, I sucked it up and started approaching girls everywhere like a maniac. That's how I learned by trial and error and came up with an effective system to go from approach to bang, which I describe in my book Bang.

In Bang I teach you everything I learned about girls with a strong focus on approaching and having interesting conversation that creates attraction. Then step by step I tell you how to call the girl, take her out on dates, and then finally seal the deal. With my system I'm confident you will eventually meet and bang the one girl that you want for the long-term. Click here to learn more about Bang today.

Let’s take a look at a couple of hypothetical examples to help us answer this question…

1. Say some girl is walking in the opposite direction of you on the sidewalk and locks eye contact, and maybe even smiles. Should you approach her?

2. How about if you’re sitting next to a girl on the subway and she looks around at other passengers instead of staying focused on her book. How about if she glances at the newspaper you are reading. Should you approach?

3. How about if the girl next to you at the coffee shop sighs deeply several times and stares off in space. Should you approach?

There is no clear line about when you should approach and when you shouldn’t, but there are opportunities which you should get mad at yourself for not taking action. For example, if a girl looks at you for more than one second, you should approach her no matter where you are, because it’s never an accident that someone makes eye contact with another person.

You should also approach girls who are looking around or seem bored, even if they don’t look at you. They want to be distracted with a conversation instead of doing what they’re supposed to be doing.

Therefore I say YES to the three cases above. You should approach. But how about the girls who don’t look at you and seem completely focused in their work?

Well, I know what happens when I approach these girls, but do you? While these are not high-success approaches, I think you owe it to yourself to try them out a few times and see what you can learn. The experience I got from approaching so many girls has helped me be able to tell when a girl is open to being talked to or not.

But keep in mind that her approachability is only one factor in deciding if you should approach. If there is a girl that is especially attractive and close to my ideal type, I’m going to talk to her whether she knows I exist or not.

Still, we’re not perfect, and there will be times when there is a girl you should have approached but didn’t. Maybe you were in a bad mood, or maybe you still worry about spectators listening in on your game. The result is that girl is gone, probably forever, and you learned nothing about how to get with her. You may feel guilty in the process. The next best thing you can do is replay the event in your head and imagine what you could have done differently.

How would you have opened her? How would the first minute of the conversation have been like?

Then if you are presented with a similar opportunity again, you simply have to repeat your mental performance for real life. Just do what you’ve already rehearsed. One reason I’m good at approaching because my mind has done it thousands of times, even when I wasn’t actually doing it.

Different approach situations can be very similar, especially if you have a general routine of places you frequent and hang out at. Mentally rehearsing approaches better prepares you for an episode that will happen again.

Feeling regret or inadequate is good because it will spur you to action. That’s how I got into the game, when I had a lot of bottled-up shame for not being able to get laid regularly. After starting from zero I became a man obsessed. I read the psychology books, did the approaches, and learned from alpha males in the field who already had a piece of skill that I wanted. I kept going for six years until I could cross out girls from my list of problems in life.

But it won’t take you six years.

In my book Bang I share with you the best strategies and techniques that took me forever to learn. If you study Bang I’m confident your learning curve will be a lot shorter than mine. I’m not saying it won’t take time and practice, but I am saying you’ll be surprised how fast your skill increases after applying my system. If you’re ready to give Bang a try, click here to order today. If you don’t like it then simply email me to get your money back no-questions-asked.

The idea for the contest started by accident in 2008, when a friend and I were talking about our conquests during the summer. We informally kept count after that and at the end of the year there was a clear winner. Quality was not accounted for.

For 2009 it became much more official. Every notch was put up on the leaderboard and without divulging too many details let me state that it definitely made the year more exciting. Someone was in the lead by three notches, another caught up, there was a back and forth for several months, many ties, text messages and email subject lines with “+1″ flying around, and then finally two notches in the final half of December to cement the contestants’ fates, giving birth to the phrase “clutch notch.”

Previously I had thought of the contest only as a male bonding exercise, but when reflecting on the year I realized something: I banged four girls that I wouldn’t otherwise—simply to not lose the contest. These girls were merely alright but they kept me in the game, so to speak.

You’d think sex and the pursuit of notches would be enough to push a man like myself to bang all that I could, but truth is after a while in the game you need something more as motivation. A simple contest, with no real stake, is what did it.

If you are not yet sure about how to approach, get numbers, and have girls agree to go on dates with you, then check out my book Bang. I explain all these topics in painful detail so that you can go right out and start applying the techniques without the huge learning curve I had to go through.

How would your sex life change if you could approach more, or get more numbers, or get flaked on less? If it would change for the better, then I think you’ll like my book. Click here to learn more about Bang today.

How about if you just came into the bar, still have your coat on, and see a girl you like. Should you approach or wait? How about if SHE just came in the bar and didn’t even get her first drink yet. Should you approach or wait? How about if she is on her way to the bathroom, holding hands with her girlfriend. Should you approach or wait?

I don’t have 100% correct answers to these types of situations, but I do know that there will ALWAYS be a better time to approach a girl. You can always be in a better mood, you can be more “on,” the environment could be quieter, or she could be standing alone simply looking around for any guy to talk to her.

The thing that’s more important than picking the right time to talk to a girl is simple TALKING TO THE GIRL.

If you sit there thinking about if you should talk to her, and then end up not even trying, then it didn’t really matter did it? There is the “best” time and then there is “opportunity.” If you see an opportunity with a girl who, for example, is going to the bathroom and you’re standing in her path, then you should open your mouth and say something because I bet you the best time to approach her will not happen before the night is out.

Besides, if there was a bar or club where the best situation always happened and girls were extremely approachable, it’d be filled with guys pretty quickly.

As long as you open your mouth and say something, you’re halfway there. Okay maybe not halfway but approaching really is the hardest part of the game, and the more you THINK about approaching, the less you’ll DO it.

The truth is that most guys have never approached a girl in their life.

Imagine that for a second. (If you’re one of those guys then you don’t have to imagine.)

They have never walked up to a girl they liked and talked to her. So the only girls they meet are from friends or the mediocre girls that approach them first.

And even when they meet girls, they have no idea how to build attraction and take things to the next level. If the girl does it for them, then great, but if not then back to PornHub (a site I’m not bashing, but just saying).

That was me, and I got tired of watching a small percentage of guys get most of the women while I begged for scraps. I put myself on a mission to be THAT GUY, the one who you see in a bar and hate because he’s getting girls even though he has average looks and dresses like a bum with t-shirts his little sister bought for him years ago (true story).

After I became that guy, I wrote how to do it in Bang. But this is no easy fix because I’m not selling you snake oil or pig pheromones. You will not see a magic transformation in just one weekend. Instead it will take quite a bit of work on your part to get to the point where you can approach girls and take them home on the same night. Still, if you apply my teachings I think in two months time you will see a noticeable improvement.

All I can offer you is the knowledge to make it happen, and it’ll be up to you to practice it until you become “that guy” yourself. Click here to read full-length sample pages of Bang.

The opposite of a compliment is an insult, something you should also avoid. If you had a linear scale with a compliment on one end being a 1 and an insult on the other end being a 10, some of the material you’ve read so far reach into the 6 range. Their purpose is to let a girl know that you are not impressed with her, even if below the surface you really are. The more you show her you’re impressed, the more likely she will perceive her value as being too high for you. Sex withholding follows as a result.

While saying “You’re too old for me” may seem like an insult on the surface, it is taken as a joke when you have already established a fun and playful vibe. Context here is important: if you were talking about something boring like politics all night and then all of a sudden you tell her she’s too old for you, she will get offended. But if you were already joking around with her for a while, she’ll know that it’s just a part of your personality.

Regardless, some girls will get insulted by your humor and think, “Who does this guy think he is?” While I don’t apologize to any girl who takes my humor wrong, I definitely don’t continue to push her buttons once she is already upset. To me her annoyance is either a sign of incompatibility or a bad line on my part. Did I accidentally say the wrong thing or did she get offended at a line that girls normally respond well to? I make a judgment call if this interaction can be saved or if there is another girl around that my time could be better spent with. Because trying to convince her that you were joking is a form of beta male supplication, it’s best to move on if your material is poorly received. The goal of material in the middle of our compliment-insult scale is to make her aware of her own faults instead of yours. Once the focus is taken off you, she will be much more susceptible to game.

The last two sentences are very important. Solid game makes the girl look inward to her own faults or lacks. Your backhanded compliments and teasing takes the focus off your uneven chin, odd mannerisms, and balding scalp. If you have a rather large deformity then your game has to be that much more potent to compensate for the flaw.

Unfortunately you can’t just go around insulting girls, which is what a lot of guys do after they read books like The Game, where the “neg” was heavily featured. You can study negs all day and night but you’ll still fuck it up every time with the wrong tone or body language. It’s better to avoid its use until you get to an advanced Matrix-like level of game, but by then you probably won’t even need to use them. Focus on material on the “6 range” like I explain above. I give tons of examples in my book.

Speaking of my book, here’s a recent email I received about it…

How’s it going man? I recently put together enough money to buy Bang and I have to say it was not only worth every penny, but more. I don’t usually say shit like this (especially about things I have to pay for). I bought David DeAngelo’s DoubleYourDating eBook a few years back and I have to say that Bang BLEW IT AWAY. You can use this as a testimonial if you want. Oh, I have also read Swingcatt’s eBook and I not only had more laughs and a better time reading Bang, but I found it more useful and my game is doing so much better. I like your approach to the field, you put things simply in a way that I can understand. However, you use advanced tactics like DeAngelo and Swingcatt, but explain it on a step by step basis with examples to real life events and situations. I can’t thank you enough.

If you haven’t yet bought Bang, check out its homepage and read a couple sample pages.

Roosh,

I want to tell you a little about myself. I am 27 years old, divorced, with a son. I got married 7 years ago because my girlfriend got pregnant. DNA testing from the divorce ruled me out as being the father of my daughter. I am back in college and living with my grandparents.

My biggest problem is sweating. The strong deodorants don’t work and the medication that keeps me from sweating is too expensive because it isn’t for sweating but for stomach ulcers.

I am writing you because I dig your stuff. I recently bought your book but have only read the introduction. Seriously, I have to study a lot and I am currently in summer school. I need help, and I totally dig a lot of the things that you say and your history. I like that you are an intellectual. The bottom line: I need help with my game, but I don’t want to sacrifice my GPA and ruin my chances of getting into grad school.

I talked to Neil Strauss in Chicago about how sweating has kept me out of the game, and he said to make up some story if someone asks about how I did some research and I found that men who sweat have higher levels of testosterone. That is easier said than done and hugely embarrassing.

I don’t have much money, but if you are putting on anymore workshops after you get back from traveling then I would like to know. I get so fucking depressed and I feel like a loser.

I have definitely reached that point on more than one occasion where I thought that life just wasn’t worth it. I don’t believe in God, so I know that when I die it will be over. I want to change Roosh, and I would like it if you could help me.

My Answer:

First, thanks for buying my book.

Your issue is not sweating but confidence. And I know this because I sweat like a fucking pig (it runs in the family), especially on my hands. Most girls I date have made comments about it and I tell them I’m thankful I sweat because I never need lotion, which will end up saving me “thousands of dollars” during my lifetime.

In fact I can’t wear grey shirts because of pit sweat. My nose and forehead is often sweaty and I dab with napkins whenever I get the chance. But not once have I worried that sweat is stopping me from getting laid.

In other words, your confidence issue is making it seem like sweating is keeping you out of the game when actually your mind is. There are guys that weigh over 225 pounds who are pulling regularly so you can’t convince me that mere sweat is your problem.

Ask yourself this: is it possible that there are men out there who have worser physical issues than yourself but are getting laid regularly? Your solution isn’t a workshop. You have my book which is enough to see a large improvement in the next year. Read it from front to back and approach at least ten girls a week. Forty girls a month starting tomorrow is your solution, and there is no shortcut to that. In your email you didn’t mention things you’re doing, so that tells me you haven’t even stepped in the pool yet.

Also start optimizing your look by trying different hair and beard configurations. Splurge on a new outfit that makes you feel good. And definitely hit the gym. If you don’t live near a gym or can’t afford it, develop a poor-man’s workout routine (pushups, situps, pullups with a $30 door frame bar, and running). It helps to be happy with what you see in the mirror.

In your next email to me I want to hear questions about issues you have found when approaching girls. Take action starting tomorrow.

The whole point of the game, besides some cheap thrills in the sack, is to find the quality girl you deserve instead of having to settle like most guys do. I remember the time when I personally couldn't even have conversations with pretty girls. I would just stare at them and do nothing, hoping that by some miracle of God they would come talk to me first. But they never did.

My problem was part lack of confidence, part fear, and part inexperience. Yet once I decided to take control of the problem, I sucked it up and started approaching girls everywhere like a maniac. That's how I learned by trial and error and came up with an effective system to go from approach to bang, which I describe in my book Bang.

In Bang I teach you everything I learned about girls with a strong focus on approaching and having interesting conversation that creates attraction. Then step by step I tell you how to call the girl, take her out on dates, and then finally seal the deal. With my system I'm confident you will eventually meet and bang the one girl that you want for the long-term. Click here to learn more about Bang today.

Here’s the link to the new sample pages…

http://www.bangfieldguide.com/e/pages/

If you like what you see and what to order, click the order button at the bottom of the page for the instant downloadable PDF file.

This is the number one problem I see guys do, especially in the first 30 minutes of talking to a girl. They don’t realize that by bending over they are saying, “God I’m so happy to be talking to you right now.” Or in a bar they talk right next to the girl’s ear when it isn’t even loud. The last thing you want a girl to know is that you are excited to be talking to her because it sends the signal you are inexperienced, don’t have success with girls, and ultimately, have low value. Lean back instead and let her be the one to come into you, and if you create the least bit of interest she will.

2. Stop Asking For Permission

Can we dance? Can I have your number? Can I kiss you? Because guys don’t know what it’s like when someone asks for permission to escalate intimacy, they don’t realize how lame it is for them to do so. Asking for permission introduces an awkward moment where the girl’s brain floods with reasons not to do what you are asking to. Plus you make it seem like you are scared of getting rejected, a quality not attractive to most women. Instead of asking, just do it and see what happens.

3. Memorize One Excellent, Breezy Story

When you first start talking to a girl, she has no idea who you are. If you talked to her because she is cute, chances are she gets talked to by a lot of guys. Separate yourself from the pack early on by telling her a story that hits on many of your positive qualities, such as your confidence, athleticism, sense of adventure, intelligence, humor, wit, story-telling ability, and so on. Because girls read between the lines, the story will not just be a story—it will be a representation of you that does not come across as bragging.

To pull this off, when you are in conversation and it is clear you have her attention, say, “That reminds me of when….” and then begin your story. I like going into stories about travel now, but before that was gym stories, where for instance I would tell girls the very true account of how one particularly gay guy stalked me in the gym and grabbed my hand while I was naked in the shower. If you are not confident of your story-telling abilities, understand that the best way to be good at telling stories is to expose yourself to good stories.

4. Stop Using The Word “Hot” To Describe Women

Have you noticed how easy it seems to attract girls who you are not that attracted to? Since you think of hot girls as so much more valuable than mediocre ones, you are more likely to behave in a way that makes it clear to her that she is indeed too valuable for you, without even realizing what you’re doing. This is the phenomenon where bad, needy game “leaks” out as a result of your thoughts, without conscious effort on your part. If you want to get physical with hot girls, you need to master your thinking of them first. From here on out, no girl is hot, and there are no tens. She’s either “cute” or “alright.” Don’t be that guy who falls captive to every girl he sees. Instead, trick your mind into lowering her value so that your game towards her is tighter.

5. Get Rejected Immediately!

Go up to a cute girl you don’t know in the next day and start a conversation with what you already know as a man. Make up an opener or just ask how she’s doing. Chances are she will end the conversation in a polite manner, typical of the “rejections” you will face. It may sting that this girl made it clear she doesn’t want to have nothing to do with you, but realize that the only way to perfect your game is to interact like this with a couple hundred girls. THERE IS NO OTHER WAY! This means you will have to branch out from your school, work, or social circle comfort zones. Accept that 99% of girls on this Earth do not ever want to have sex with you, get over it, and keep going until you find the ones that do.

6. Take Your Hands Out Of Your Pockets

Take your hands of your pockets. If you are at a bar looking like you are bored, resigning yourself to standing around and staring at the TV, don’t expect to get a positive response if you approach a girl. She notices what you do before you walk up to her, and if you seem like a buzzkill, she will be less likely to talk to you. While you don’t have to jump off the wall and be that annoying guy who talks loud and high-fives everyone, don’t stand around looking like someone just stood you up. Interact with your friends or the bartender. Not only will staying in an active, talkative state help you when you finally do approach, it makes it much more likely that you even will.

7. Stop Giving Direct Answers

Evade her questions with humor or counter-questions instead, withholding for as long as reasonably possible the answers to her questions. Not only does this show you aren’t trying to impress her, but it also makes her think you are hiding something. This shady vibe will keep the conversation going and make her curious about what is hiding behind the box. You immediately stand out because most men try to appease a girl by immediately answering questions in the hopes she will like him. By doing the opposite, she sticks around to figure out who the hell you are (or think you are), but by then it will be too late—your fish hook is in her and you can run deeper material with her full attention.

Some of these things I learned from my own experiences and others from guys who taught me everything they knew about game. During an intense six year period starting in 2001 I was going out four nights a week throwing everything I had at the girls I wanted to sleep with. I did things like ask them why they were so drunk and even approached with stick figure drawings on napkins to make them laugh.

My learning curve was long and hard and not until the second year did a reliable system start to become clear. For the next four years after that I perfected and refined it into something that made my life a lot easier when it came to getting laid. I finally wrote my system down in a book called Bang.

Bang is a 60,000 word textbook that teaches you the skills to consistently get laid. I include step-by-step instructions on how to build attraction and escalate intimacy with the girls you want to have sex with. My goal was to create a guide that was all you need to get laid. The books contain hundreds of tips to help you accomplish that goal.

I have uploaded several sample pages from my book on its webpage. I also included my Condom Line, the line I say when I need to get the condom in a smooth way without ruining the moment. Click here to learn more about Bang.

I thought of the books that made a strong impact on me, and that I think would help men out with life and women. I came up with five important books. Here they are in alphabetical order:

MEAN GENES

Why do humans do irrational things? Why are men scared to get rejected? This book offers evolutionary reasons on ten topics: debt, fat, drugs, risk, greed, gender, beauty, infidelity, family, and friends and foes, providing research data to support its claims. Think of this book as a hackers manual to the human mind, teaching you about yourself in the process.

Click here to read reviews of Mean Genes.

THE 48 LAWS OF POWER

This book has laws on human behavior gleaned from historical examples, such as “Win Through Your Actions, Never Through Argument” and “Make Your Accomplishments Seem Effortless.” Not only do you learn about people but you pick up quite a bit of history as well, more than you probably remember from days in high school or college.

When I read this book at 22-years-old I was blown away, but recently I tried to reread it and felt like I was already familiar with its teachings, telling me that your level of experience will greatly dictate how much you get out of it. An alternate title for this book could be “Human Behavior For Dummies.”

Click here to read reviews of The 48 Laws Of Power.

THE PSYCHOLOGY OF INFLUENCE

Consider this book the bible of persuasion. It reviews dozens of studies to teach you what persuades and what doesn’t. It’s applicable to pickup because getting into a girl’s pants is indeed a form of persuasion, and Chapter 6 (Scarcity) will be the most helpful on that front. The other techniques discussed are reciprocity, liking, authority, social proof, and commitment/consistency.

Click here to read reviews of The Psychology Of Influence.

THINK AND GROW RICH

This is the only “self-help” book you’ll ever need to read in your life. It was written about 70 years ago by a man who interviewed over 500 rich men, distilling their wisdom into 13 steps. Even though it’s about money, it’s very easy to change the goal to whatever else you want to focus on, such as women. This book teaches you to use your mind to get what you want instead of gimmicks.

Click here to read reviews of Think And Grow Rich.

WALDEN

Even if you’ve read this book in high school, it’s worth another look. It’s about a man who set out to live a simple, deliberate life away from modern excess. It contains reflections on human nature, labor, and happiness, giving you more reasons than you’ll ever need to act now and live out your dreams instead of waiting for a tomorrow that may never come. It’s no coincidence that the “here and now” teachings in this book have some overlap with Buddhism.

Click here to read reviews of Walden.

If you have a book to recommend then let me know so I can check it out. Happy reading!

1. Throw logic out the window. It’s tempting to want to use logic in attracting women, but if that was the case you would have guys everywhere with t-shirts stating their penis size and income, and get laid like rock stars. But we don’t really see that and it’s not true that the richer the guy is the more play he gets. Instead you have to understand that women are emotional beings who do things like spend hours shopping for shoes and watching soap operas and talk shows, responding to things that a guy would not respond to with many triggers that aren’t obvious and clear-cut. They do not think like you do.

2. Work out. You may think this is a cliche but there is no other sure-fire confidence booster than working on your body. It doesn’t have to be weight lifting either; it can be simply running or biking. Focus on something that improves your health and look so you feel better when it’s time to hit on girls.

3. Expose yourself to interesting things. It’s hard to maintain a several hour long conversation if you are not an interesting person, and the only way to get interesting is by doing interesting things. Take up a new hobby, travel to an exotic location for a couple weeks, or simply grab a handful of recommended books at the bookstore and start reading and thinking about them. The more positive experiences you have, the more things you’ll be able to talk to women which increases attraction.

4. Suck it up and learn how to approach. Unless you are a celebrity who gets approached all the time, you’re cutting yourself short by not approaching. Approaching women is the number one way to get a lot more women than you would have gotten if you simply waited for girls to approach you. Sure sometimes girls will approach me but that’s too much of a passive strategy based on luck.

5. Learn how to use routines. Most of the conversation you have with a girl will be natural and fresh, but think of how much farther you would get if you had a few stories that you know would get a positive reaction? What you want to do is think of a couple stories that happened in your life that a girl would find interesting, and find a way to squeeze that into a conversation during the first 30 minutes or so. This allows you to show the best of you within a short amount of time.

6. It’s all about the niche. There is nothing wrong with looking like everyone else and going where everyone else goes. You can still get laid that way, but it’s easier if you find your own look, and easier if you find a place that meshes will with that look and your vibe as well. You want to find a niche that optimizes the process so you don’t have to compete with a whole bunch of guys that on the surface seem very similar to you. Stop doing what everyone else is doing and stand out to get more natural attention. Let girls be curious about you before you even open your mouth.

7. Always be closing. The girl is not going to close herself. While some girls may offer her number before you ask for it, it’s still going to be up to you to have a plan on getting her phone number, asking her out on dates, and getting her inside a bedroom. Think of the whole process as climbing a ladder, but it must be you working your way up the ladder to get to the top. Never wait for a girl to allow herself to be laid by you. Sure you will get rejected along the way sometimes, but that’s the price you have to pay. Speaking of rejection…

8. Learn from rejection. You will get rejected dozens and dozens of times in the next year if you really make the decision to be a pick up artist. Over 90% of girls you initially talk to will not be attracted to you in any way, shape, or form, but it takes getting rejected by that 90% to get the 10% that you do hook up with or have sex with. Each time you get rejected just take a second to think about a way you could have made the interaction better, then go out there again on the next girl.

9. Focus on indirect game instead of direct. Once you get your game together you can start thinking about going up to girls and telling them you think they are cute, but until then you want to focus on indirect game where you pose some sort of innocuous question or situation to get a conversation going. For instance if you are at a coffee shop and a girl you like is next to you reading your book, you can ask her if the book is any good. By going indirect you don’t force the girl to make quick decision on if she likes you or not since you’re just being chatty.

10. Don’t take things seriously. Approaching girls and getting laid is nothing but a game is just like any other hobby. Sometimes it stops being a game when you meet the right girl but the lighter you approach being a pick up artist the better your results will be. Every time you get rejected you should have a smirk on your face because in the end it really does not matter. Just go after what you want, learn from your rejections, and go out there again. With hard enough work, things fall into place.