Stressing Out Over Missed Opportunities

It bothers me when it feels like I’ve missed out on an opportunity. A girl gave me this look, I did nothing, and then I start feeling guilty. Should I feel down for not approaching every cute girl that I see?

Let’s take a look at a couple of hypothetical examples to help us answer this question…

1. Say some girl is walking in the opposite direction of you on the sidewalk and locks eye contact, and maybe even smiles. Should you approach her?

2. How about if you’re sitting next to a girl on the subway and she looks around at other passengers instead of staying focused on her book. How about if she glances at the newspaper you are reading. Should you approach?

3. How about if the girl next to you at the coffee shop sighs deeply several times and stares off in space. Should you approach?

There is no clear line about when you should approach and when you shouldn’t, but there are opportunities which you should get mad at yourself for not taking action. For example, if a girl looks at you for more than one second, you should approach her no matter where you are, because it’s never an accident that someone makes eye contact with another person.

You should also approach girls who are looking around or seem bored, even if they don’t look at you. They want to be distracted with a conversation instead of doing what they’re supposed to be doing.

Therefore I say YES to the three cases above. You should approach. But how about the girls who don’t look at you and seem completely focused in their work?

Well, I know what happens when I approach these girls, but do you? While these are not high-success approaches, I think you owe it to yourself to try them out a few times and see what you can learn. The experience I got from approaching so many girls has helped me be able to tell when a girl is open to being talked to or not.

But keep in mind that her approachability is only one factor in deciding if you should approach. If there is a girl that is especially attractive and close to my ideal type, I’m going to talk to her whether she knows I exist or not.

Still, we’re not perfect, and there will be times when there is a girl you should have approached but didn’t. Maybe you were in a bad mood, or maybe you still worry about spectators listening in on your game. The result is that girl is gone, probably forever, and you learned nothing about how to get with her. You may feel guilty in the process. The next best thing you can do is replay the event in your head and imagine what you could have done differently.

How would you have opened her? How would the first minute of the conversation have been like?

Then if you are presented with a similar opportunity again, you simply have to repeat your mental performance for real life. Just do what you’ve already rehearsed. One reason I’m good at approaching because my mind has done it thousands of times, even when I wasn’t actually doing it.

Different approach situations can be very similar, especially if you have a general routine of places you frequent and hang out at. Mentally rehearsing approaches better prepares you for an episode that will happen again.

Feeling regret or inadequate is good because it will spur you to action. That’s how I got into the game, when I had a lot of bottled-up shame for not being able to get laid regularly. After starting from zero I became a man obsessed. I read the psychology books, did the approaches, and learned from alpha males in the field who already had a piece of skill that I wanted. I kept going for six years until I could cross out girls from my list of problems in life.

But it won’t take you six years.

In my book Bang I share with you the best strategies and techniques that took me forever to learn. If you study Bang I’m confident your learning curve will be a lot shorter than mine. I’m not saying it won’t take time and practice, but I am saying you’ll be surprised how fast your skill increases after applying my system. If you’re ready to give Bang a try, click here to order today. If you don’t like it then simply email me to get your money back no-questions-asked.

How To Increase Your Yearly Notch Count

Here’s all you gotta do: start a contest with a friend on who can get the most bangs for the year.

The idea for the contest started by accident in 2008, when a friend and I were talking about our conquests during the summer. We informally kept count after that and at the end of the year there was a clear winner. Quality was not accounted for.

For 2009 it became much more official. Every notch was put up on the leaderboard and without divulging too many details let me state that it definitely made the year more exciting. Someone was in the lead by three notches, another caught up, there was a back and forth for several months, many ties, text messages and email subject lines with “+1″ flying around, and then finally two notches in the final half of December to cement the contestants’ fates, giving birth to the phrase “clutch notch.”

Previously I had thought of the contest only as a male bonding exercise, but when reflecting on the year I realized something: I banged four girls that I wouldn’t otherwise—simply to not lose the contest. These girls were merely alright but they kept me in the game, so to speak.

You’d think sex and the pursuit of notches would be enough to push a man like myself to bang all that I could, but truth is after a while in the game you need something more as motivation. A simple contest, with no real stake, is what did it.

If you are not yet sure about how to approach, get numbers, and have girls agree to go on dates with you, then check out my book Bang. I explain all these topics in painful detail so that you can go right out and start applying the techniques without the huge learning curve I had to go through.

How would your sex life change if you could approach more, or get more numbers, or get flaked on less? If it would change for the better, then I think you’ll like my book. Click here to learn more about Bang today.

The Best Time To Approach A Girl

Sometimes there is the question of when you should approach a girl you’re attracted to.

How about if you just came into the bar, still have your coat on, and see a girl you like. Should you approach or wait? How about if SHE just came in the bar and didn’t even get her first drink yet. Should you approach or wait? How about if she is on her way to the bathroom, holding hands with her girlfriend. Should you approach or wait?

I don’t have 100% correct answers to these types of situations, but I do know that there will ALWAYS be a better time to approach a girl. You can always be in a better mood, you can be more “on,” the environment could be quieter, or she could be standing alone simply looking around for any guy to talk to her.

The thing that’s more important than picking the right time to talk to a girl is simple TALKING TO THE GIRL.

If you sit there thinking about if you should talk to her, and then end up not even trying, then it didn’t really matter did it? There is the “best” time and then there is “opportunity.” If you see an opportunity with a girl who, for example, is going to the bathroom and you’re standing in her path, then you should open your mouth and say something because I bet you the best time to approach her will not happen before the night is out.

Besides, if there was a bar or club where the best situation always happened and girls were extremely approachable, it’d be filled with guys pretty quickly.

As long as you open your mouth and say something, you’re halfway there. Okay maybe not halfway but approaching really is the hardest part of the game, and the more you THINK about approaching, the less you’ll DO it.

The truth is that most guys have never approached a girl in their life.

Imagine that for a second. (If you’re one of those guys then you don’t have to imagine.)

They have never walked up to a girl they liked and talked to her. So the only girls they meet are from friends or the mediocre girls that approach them first.

And even when they meet girls, they have no idea how to build attraction and take things to the next level. If the girl does it for them, then great, but if not then back to PornHub (a site I’m not bashing, but just saying).

That was me, and I got tired of watching a small percentage of guys get most of the women while I begged for scraps. I put myself on a mission to be THAT GUY, the one who you see in a bar and hate because he’s getting girls even though he has average looks and dresses like a bum with t-shirts his little sister bought for him years ago (true story).

After I became that guy, I wrote how to do it in Bang. But this is no easy fix because I’m not selling you snake oil or pig pheromones. You will not see a magic transformation in just one weekend. Instead it will take quite a bit of work on your part to get to the point where you can approach girls and take them home on the same night. Still, if you apply my teachings I think in two months time you will see a noticeable improvement.

All I can offer you is the knowledge to make it happen, and it’ll be up to you to practice it until you become “that guy” yourself. Click here to read full-length sample pages of Bang.

How To Balance Between Compliments & Insults

The following excerpt from Bang discusses the middle ground between compliments and insults…

The opposite of a compliment is an insult, something you should also avoid. If you had a linear scale with a compliment on one end being a 1 and an insult on the other end being a 10, some of the material you’ve read so far reach into the 6 range. Their purpose is to let a girl know that you are not impressed with her, even if below the surface you really are. The more you show her you’re impressed, the more likely she will perceive her value as being too high for you. Sex withholding follows as a result.

While saying “You’re too old for me” may seem like an insult on the surface, it is taken as a joke when you have already established a fun and playful vibe. Context here is important: if you were talking about something boring like politics all night and then all of a sudden you tell her she’s too old for you, she will get offended. But if you were already joking around with her for a while, she’ll know that it’s just a part of your personality.

Regardless, some girls will get insulted by your humor and think, “Who does this guy think he is?” While I don’t apologize to any girl who takes my humor wrong, I definitely don’t continue to push her buttons once she is already upset. To me her annoyance is either a sign of incompatibility or a bad line on my part. Did I accidentally say the wrong thing or did she get offended at a line that girls normally respond well to? I make a judgment call if this interaction can be saved or if there is another girl around that my time could be better spent with. Because trying to convince her that you were joking is a form of beta male supplication, it’s best to move on if your material is poorly received. The goal of material in the middle of our compliment-insult scale is to make her aware of her own faults instead of yours. Once the focus is taken off you, she will be much more susceptible to game.

The last two sentences are very important. Solid game makes the girl look inward to her own faults or lacks. Your backhanded compliments and teasing takes the focus off your uneven chin, odd mannerisms, and balding scalp. If you have a rather large deformity then your game has to be that much more potent to compensate for the flaw.

Unfortunately you can’t just go around insulting girls, which is what a lot of guys do after they read books like The Game, where the “neg” was heavily featured. You can study negs all day and night but you’ll still fuck it up every time with the wrong tone or body language. It’s better to avoid its use until you get to an advanced Matrix-like level of game, but by then you probably won’t even need to use them. Focus on material on the “6 range” like I explain above. I give tons of examples in my book.

Speaking of my book, here’s a recent email I received about it…

How’s it going man? I recently put together enough money to buy Bang and I have to say it was not only worth every penny, but more. I don’t usually say shit like this (especially about things I have to pay for). I bought David DeAngelo’s DoubleYourDating eBook a few years back and I have to say that Bang BLEW IT AWAY. You can use this as a testimonial if you want. Oh, I have also read Swingcatt’s eBook and I not only had more laughs and a better time reading Bang, but I found it more useful and my game is doing so much better. I like your approach to the field, you put things simply in a way that I can understand. However, you use advanced tactics like DeAngelo and Swingcatt, but explain it on a step by step basis with examples to real life events and situations. I can’t thank you enough.

If you haven’t yet bought Bang, check out its homepage and read a couple sample pages.