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Archive for the ‘General Advice’ Category:
Physical Issue Or Confidence Issue?
Email I received…
I want to tell you a little about myself. I am 27 years old, divorced, with a son. I got married 7 years ago because my girlfriend got pregnant. DNA testing from the divorce ruled me out as being the father of my daughter. I am back in college and living with my grandparents.
My biggest problem is sweating. The strong deodorants don’t work and the medication that keeps me from sweating is too expensive because it isn’t for sweating but for stomach ulcers. I am writing you because I dig your stuff. I recently bought your book but have only read the introduction. Seriously, I have to study a lot and I am currently in summer school. I need help, and I totally dig a lot of the things that you say and your history. I like that you are an intellectual. The bottom line: I need help with my game, but I don’t want to sacrifice my GPA and ruin my chances of getting into grad school.
I talked to Neil Strauss in Chicago about how sweating has kept me out of the game, and he said to make up some story if someone asks about how I did some research and I found that men who sweat have higher levels of testosterone. That is easier said than done and hugely embarrassing.
I don’t have much money, but if you are putting on anymore workshops after you get back from traveling then I would like to know. I get so fucking depressed and I feel like a loser. I have definitely reached that point on more than one occasion where I thought that life just wasn’t worth it. I don’t believe in God, so I know that when I die it will be over. I want to change Roosh, and I would like it if you could help me.
My Answer:
First, thanks for buying my book.
Your issue is not sweating but confidence. I sweat like a fucking pig (it runs in the family), especially my hands. Most girls I date have made comments on it and I tell them I’m thankful I sweat because I never need lotion, which will end up saving me thousands of dollars during my lifetime. I can’t wear grey shirts because of pit sweat. My nose and forehead is often sweaty and I dab with napkins whenever I get the chance. In other words, your confidence issue is making it seem like sweating is keeping you out of the game when actually your mind is. There are guys that weigh over 200 pounds that are pulling so you can’t convince me that sweat is your problem.
Ask yourself this: is it possible that there are guys with worse physical issues than yourself who are getting laid regularly? You don’t need a workshop. You have my book which is enough to see large improvement in the next year. Read it from front to back and approach at least 10 girls a week. That’s your solution, and there is no shortcut to that. Forty girls a month starting tomorrow. In your email you did not mention things you’re doing, so that tells me you haven’t even stepped in the pool yet.
The next step is to hit the gym. If you don’t have a gym or can’t afford it, develop a poor-man’s workout routine (pushups, situps, pullups with a $30 bar, and running). It’s important to be happy with what you see in the mirror. Start optimizing your look by trying different hair/beard configurations. Splurge on a new outfit that makes you feel good.
In your next email to me I want to hear questions about issues you have found when approaching girls. Take action starting tomorrow.
The whole point of the game, besides some cheap thrills in the sack, is to find the quality girl you deserve instead of having to settle like most guys do. The reason you are reading this right now is because you believe the path lies in game. If you're looking to possess the whole package, from the right inner game all the way to successful dates that end in sex, check out my book Bang. It's a one-stop shop for the most important things you need to know. Click here to learn more...
Ten Fresh Sample Pages From My Game Book Bang
A few readers have told me that they are interested in buying Bang but they are not sure about the quality. To address this I have picked out ten new pages to show you that I think best represents the book. I introduce each page so you can skim around if you want to find the topics you’re most curious about.
Here’s the link to the new sample pages…
http://www.bangfieldguide.com/e/pages/
If you like what you see and what to order, click the order button at the bottom of the page for the instant downloadable PDF file.
7 Things You Can Do To Improve Your Game Right Now
1. Stop leaning in. This is the number one problem I see guys do, especially in the first 30 minutes of talking to a girl. They don’t realize that by bending over they are saying, “God I’m so happy to be talking to you right now.” Or in a bar they talk right next to the girl’s ear when it isn’t even loud. The last thing you want a girl to know is that you are excited to be talking to her because it sends the signal you are inexperienced, don’t have success with girls, and ultimately, have low value. Lean back instead and let her be the one to come into you, and if you create the least bit of interest she will.
2. Stop asking for permission. Can we dance? Can I have your number? Can I kiss you? Because guys don’t know what it’s like when someone asks for permission to escalate intimacy, they don’t realize how lame it is for them to do so. Asking for permission introduces an awkward moment where the girl’s brain floods with reasons not to do what you are asking to. Plus you make it seem like you are scared of getting rejected, a quality not attractive to most women. Instead of asking, just do it and see what happens.
3. Memorize one excellent, breezy story. When you first start talking to a girl, she has no idea who you are. If you talked to her because she is cute, chances are she gets talked to by a lot of guys. Separate yourself from the pack early on by telling her a story that hits on many of your positive qualities, such as your confidence, athleticism, sense of adventure, intelligence, humor, wit, story-telling ability, and so on. Because girls read between the lines, the story will not just be a story—it will be a representation of you that does not come across as bragging.
To pull this off, when you are in conversation and it is clear you have her attention, say, “That reminds me of when….” and then begin your story. I like going into stories about travel now, but before that was gym stories, where for instance I would tell girls the very true account of how one particularly gay guy stalked me in the gym and grabbed my hand while I was naked in the shower. If you are not confident of your story-telling abilities, understand that the best way to be good at telling stories is to expose yourself to good stories.
4. Stop using the word “hot” to describe women. Have you noticed how easy it seems to attract girls who you are not that attracted to? Since you think of hot girls as so much more valuable than mediocre ones, you are more likely to behave in a way that makes it clear to her that she is indeed too valuable for you, without even realizing what you’re doing. This is the phenomenon where bad, needy game “leaks” out as a result of your thoughts, without conscious effort on your part. If you want to get physical with hot girls, you need to master your thinking of them first. From here on out, no girl is hot, and there are no tens. She’s either “cute” or “alright.” Don’t be that guy who falls captive to every girl he sees. Instead, trick your mind into lowering her value so that your game towards her is tighter.
5. Get rejected immediately. Go up to a cute girl you don’t know in the next day and start a conversation with what you already know as a man. Make up an opener or just ask how she’s doing. Chances are she will end the conversation in a polite manner, typical of the “rejections” you will face. It may sting that this girl made it clear she doesn’t want to have nothing to do with you, but realize that the only way to perfect your game is to interact like this with a couple hundred girls. There is no other way. This means you will have to branch out from your school, work, or social circle comfort zones. Accept that 99% of girls on this Earth do not ever want to have sex with you, get over it, and keep going until you find the ones that do.
6. Take your hands of your pockets. If you are at a bar looking like you are bored, resigning yourself to standing around and staring at the TV, don’t expect to get a positive response if you approach a girl. She notices what you do before you walk up to her, and if you seem like a buzzkill, she will be less likely to talk to you. While you don’t have to jump off the wall and be that annoying guy who talks loud and high-fives everyone, don’t stand around looking like someone just stood you up. Interact with your friends or the bartender. Not only will staying in an active, talkative state help you when you finally do approach, it makes it much more likely that you even will.
7. Stop giving direct answers. Evade her questions with humor or counter-questions instead, withholding for as long as reasonably possible the answers to her questions. Not only does this show you aren’t trying to impress her, but it also makes her think you are hiding something. This shady vibe will keep the conversation going and make her curious about what is hiding behind the box. You immediately stand out because most men try to appease a girl by immediately answering questions in the hopes she will like him. By doing the opposite, she sticks around to figure out who the hell you are (or think you are), but by then it will be too late—your fish hook is in her and you can run deeper material with her full attention.
Some of these things I learned from my own experiences and others from guys who taught me everything they knew about game. During an intense six year period starting in 2001 I was going out four nights a week throwing everything I had at the girls I wanted to sleep with. I did things like ask them why they were so drunk and even approached with stick figure drawings on napkins to make them laugh.
My learning curve was a bit long though and not until the second year did a reliable system start to become clear. For the next four years after that I perfected and refined it into something that made my life a lot easier when it came to getting laid. I finally wrote my system down in a book called Bang.
There’s no fluff in this book. Instead you’ll find 60,000 words in a densely packed textbook teaching you everything from the mindset you need to be successful with girls to step-by-step instructions on how to escalate intimacy with the girls you want to have sex with. My goal was to create a guide that was all you need to get laid.
Because I don’t want you to spend your hard-earned money on something mysterious, I have uploaded several sample pages from my book. I also included my Condom Line, the line I say when I need to get the condom in a smooth way without ruining the moment. Look for it in the blue box partway down the Bang homepage.
Top 5 Most Important Books For Guys
A good book should not only teach me something, but give me something interesting to talk about, maybe even helping compensate for limited experience. If you’re a 23-year-old virgin who has never talked to a girl before, books will be all you have to go on until you learn on your own. On my other blog I’ve made three book posts. They are:
I have updated the Top 10 Most Important Books post into a top 5 list of books every man should read. Here they are in alphabetical order.
1. Mean Genes
Why do humans do irrational things? Why are men scared to get rejected? This book offers evolutionary reasons on ten topics: debt, fat, drugs, risk, greed, gender, beauty, infidelity, family, and friends and foes, providing research data to prove its claims. Think of this book as a hackers manual to the human mind, teaching you about yourself in the process.
This book has laws on human behavior gleaned from historical examples, like "Win Through Your Actions, Never Through Argument," and "Make Your Accomplishments Seem Effortless." Not only do you learn about people but you pick up quite a bit of history as well, more than you probably remember from days in high school or college. When I read this book at 22 I was blown away, but recently I tried to reread it and felt like there was nothing new for me, telling me that your level of experience will greatly dictate how much you get out of this book. An alternate title could be "Human
Behavior For Dummies."
Excerpts from The 48 Laws Of Power
3. The Psychology Of Influence
This is the bible on persuasion that describes it as a science instead of an art. It reviews dozens of studies to teach you what persuades and what doesn’t. It’s applicable to pick up because getting into a girl’s pants is indeed a form of persuasion, and Chapter 6 (Scarcity) will be the most helpful on that front. The other techniques discussed are reciprocity, liking, authority, social proof, and commitment/consistency.
Excerpts from The Psychology Of Influence
This is the only "self-help" book you will ever need to read in your life. It was written about 70 years ago by a man who interviewed over 500 rich men, distilling their wisdom into 13 steps. Even though it’s about money, it’s very easy to change the goal to whatever else you want to focus on, such as women. This
book teaches you to use your mind to get what you want, not gimmicks.
Excerpts from Think & Grow Rich
5. Walden
Even if you’ve read this book in high school, it’s worth another look. It’s about a man who set out to live a simple, deliberate life, away from modern excess. It contains reflections on human nature, labor, and happiness. This book will give you more reasons than you’ll need to act now and live out your dreams instead of waiting for a tomorrow that may never come, and it’s no coincidence that the "here and now" teachings in this book have some overlap with Buddhism.
Happy reading!
