How To Meet A Nice Girl Today Using My Favorite Conversation Hack

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Approaches That Go Nowhere

Reader question…

I push myself out more these days and approach way more people (and chicks) than before and I’m getting rejected left right and center. And the only opener that comes to me – that I’m most comfortable with, even though I’m pretty uncomfortable, is “Hi.” Then I introduce myself and ask her name and it typically goes downhill from there.

GirlsBut I’m not backing down. These days. once I start walking, I don’t care if I’m approaching lonely (but not looking for company) chicks, pairs (most common), chicks with boyfriend on their arm (I did this cause she locked eyes with me for over 10 seconds) or Attilla — suicidal, but fuck it. I have to catch up on my rejections.

This is where I’ve hit a brick wall. I’m not converting any approaches into successes. So far 100% of the girls I’ve met don’t want to sleep with me. I want attraction, then conversation. I’m not gonna ask for a number if I don’t see myself following up. Numbers don’t mean much to me. It’s the interest, so my real test would be to check if she was interested enough to ask for my number, call me or call me back.

Then there’s the butterflies, the 8-9s who are at the club/bar for god-knows-fucking-what. They’ll flit around, drink, dance with their homegirl, talk to 4 other chicks, then queen around dudes who approach them and go to the bathroom. WTF is up with that? Don’t they know California is in a state of drought. I want more game so they listen and obey. Such is the sorry state of things.

My Answer:

I don’t like your opener. Sure you feel comfortable doing it but it gives you very little room to do anything else. You’re making the girl decide on the spot if she likes you or not since it’s leaning direct in nature.

Focus on indirect instead and let her talk to you for a few minutes until she thinks, “Hmm he’s a cool guy.” Don’t make her decide off the bat.

That said, try guessing games. Start an opener with “Let me guess…” then follow it with an observation about her. On the subway recently I used, “Let me guess, by the way you are dressed you are going to a bar or club.” That led to a conversation about where she was going and nightlife in general. It can be anything so experiment with it (I mention a good one in Bang).

Start small. Instead of going for sex, have a goal of her showing you indicators of interest. Is she asking questions about you, like your name? Because that’s the first step in attraction. So what do you have to do to get her to be interested in you in those first few minutes? You’ll probably have to come up with a funny/original opener, you’ll have to drop some intriguing hints about yourself (“Yeah i just came from…”), and you’ll probably have to make her laugh while being confident. With the approaches you’re doing I’m sure you’ll figure it out soon but use your BRAIN and THINK about different things you can do. If you’re doing something that doesn’t work, try something else.Other than that, keep approaching, because that’s the number one thing you can do to increase your results.

Approaching is the hardest part of the game. There is nothing natural or easy about walking up to a girl you don't know and talking to her in a way that makes her laugh, builds attraction, and ends with her giving you her phone number.

After approaching hundreds of different girls with all types of openers, I finally settled on two that are my "defaults," meaning they are powerful enough that I can use them regardless of the girl or the environment. I share them in my book Bang, along with others you can use for bars, clubs, daytime spots, and even the gym. It has 64 pages on Early Game that focus exclusively on the approach and what to say immediately after. I share dozens of conversation tips with tons of word-for-word examples, and I also teach you the concept of threads to keep the interaction going without having awkward silences.

You can take the time to make up openers on your own, experimenting over the next several months, or you can learn mine and get started using something that works off the bat. If you want to learn my favorite natural openers that are easy to use and actually work, click here to learn more about my book Bang today.

Posted on May 18 2009 in Approaching, Attraction, Daytime Game, Q&A

How To Pick Up Girls On The Street

Do girls like being hit on the street by random men?

99% of girls will say no. Actually 100% will say no. The reason is because most men who do it (construction workers, thugs) have horrible street game. In reality girls love being hit on by men who make them feel attraction and give them good conversation, regardless of where it is.

I’m writing this a day after I got the number of an 8/8.5 (according to my friend’s rating), who was walking alone early Tuesday evening in Washington DC. Let me explain how I did it so you can go out there and do it yourself. While you’re reading see if you can identify the pattern as to why it worked.

While walking on the sidewalk I spotted a very cute girl coming towards me and my friends from the opposite direction. The time was around 8pm. My two friends didn’t know I was going to approach her so they sort of drifted off to the side and talked amongst themselves fifteen feet away while the whole thing happened.

I stopped when she was about five feet away from me and said…

“Excuse me, do you by chance know a good bar to hang out at… one that has more than five guys sitting all sad and lonely?”

She came to a stop and started throwing out names of bars. I playfully shot down all her choices as not being cool and fun enough. In fact I already knew all the bars in the area.

After about 90 seconds of talking about bars I said, “Well, I’m actually looking for bride, a cool chick that I can marry hopefully soon. I was hoping for a place around here where I could find her.”

She laughed and mentioned one more bar name, as if I’d actually find a bride there. I said, “Well we just came from around there and it’s pretty dead tonight. But actually you know what I’m playing… I saw you walking and just wanted to talk to you.” She gave off one of those ‘A-ha I knew it!’ smiles.

The energy of the conversation changed for the better and without too much of a pause I asked her where she was coming from. I completely dropped my initial intention of looking for a bar and just kept the conversation going like I would if I had started talking to her inside one.

I played two quick and fun guessing games:

First: “Judging by your accent, I’m getting a half-German and half-Norwegian vibe.” If you’ve read Bang you’ll see I adapted an opener for use as a routine. She said no, that she’s actually from New York, and I smiled and said, “Are you sure? I don’t know, maybe a little Russian too.”

Second: “And by the way, how old are you?” She replied, “Old enough to get into a club.” I said, “Haha wait wait, you’re that young? No really…” She said “20.” You’ll never meet a young girl who doesn’t like an older man, so I played it up instantly. I said, “Well I hope you like older men, because I’m graying over here.” She said, “Actually I do.”

I asked her where she was going and told her to join us later if she has a fake ID. I added, “Well if I don’t see you tonight, maybe we can get a drink some other time.”

She asked me for my name and I asked for hers and then I took out my cell phone. She gave me her number. We talked for about seven minutes total.

If this looked easy that’s because it was. The only weird thing about it was seeing an attractive girl like that walking alone in D.C.

Let’s identify the key reasons to why my approach worked.

1. DISARM. The street has a lot of crazies, so you need to disarm her in the first second and let her know you are a cool, normal guy. You do this with very relaxed body language, starting off with “Excuse me,” talking slow, and asking for help. It’s hard for anyone to resist helping someone, and if you’ve ever been a tourist in a strange land you’ll understand the human desire to be helpful. This is our “in.”

2. GET OVER THE HUMP. In street game there is a 30 second hump. If she stops to talk to you for half-a-minute then she can stop and talk indefinitely. I shot down her bar choices so the clock would keep ticking.

3. MAKE HER LAUGH. It doesn’t have to be with great jokes, but you need to keep the energy light and fun, like you would in any other situation. I used the “bride” joke which I made up on the spot. A couple jokes are okay but don’t turn this into comedy hour. When she recommends bars, I would say something like, “Oh that’s too yuppie” or “Hmm yeah that bar has scary people in it.”

4. SEGUE. Your typical street game approach needs a segue that goes from talking about bars or whatever you opened with to talking about each other. In this case I did that by saying, “I just wanted to talk to you,” followed by a question that ended up teasing her.

Maybe you’re thinking, “Roosh, but isn’t this more of direct game? I thought you only advocate indirect game.”

Saying you wanted to talk her is barely direct. It’s NOT like saying, “Actually I saw how beautiful you were and I just had to talk to you.” That’s too much.

If the girl is giving you a really strong vibe you can try this: “Actually I say you walking and just wanted to flirt with you.” She may get a warm-and-fuzzy feeling inside and think, “Yes! This random guy who I think I like probably likes me too.”

5. BUILD ATTRACTION. Once you are done with the segue, build the attraction a little more with teasing. Ask basic questions about herself or do guessing games like I did.

6. CLOSE. This is where you use your initial opener to close her. For example say it’s during the day and on your college campus you ask for the best place to have ice cream. When it’s time to close say, “Well I have to run, but how about some time soon we try so-and-so ice cream shop.”

If you asked her where there’s a good pizza place, then you would close by suggesting you two have pizza some time. It feels natural that you called back your opener. On this girl I used bars to open, so for me the close was asking to hang out for a drink.

It’s not a bad idea to go for the instant date if it seems like she doesn’t have anywhere to go. I asked my girl where she was headed and she said to meet up with friends, so I knew there would be no instant date option.

If your girl doesn’t seem to be doing anything then ask her if she wants to join you for the ice cream, the pizza, or the drink then and there. If she declines, say, “That’s fine, how about some other time?” and then take out your cell phone. If you’re talking to a girl for at least three minutes on the street and she asks you a question, you’d be a fool not to go for some sort of close. Just pull the trigger and ask her out.

This is as easy as it sounds. Now go out there and try it.

If you’re looking for some more help on approaches and how to build attraction, then I recommend my book Bang. It has 64 pages on Early Game that focus exclusively on the approach and what to say immediately after. I share dozens of conversation tips with tons of word-for-word examples, and I also teach you the concept of threads to keep the interaction going without having awkward silences. Click below to learn more about Bang today.

Posted on December 8 2008 in Approaching, Daytime Game