How To Meet A Nice Girl Today Using My Favorite Conversation Hack

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5 Differences Between Night And Day Game

There’s a reason why, when two things are really different, people say “it’s like night and day.” Night and day are about as opposite as it gets. This is also the case for the corresponding type of game you should run during them. Something that seems perfectly reasonable in a night club will get you drummed out of Starbucks during the day. Night game and day game are two very different animals. Yet, a lot of guys who know something about how to approach a girl in the safety of a dark room will try to do basically the same thing in a bookstore or subway, only to be perplexed when the girl ignores his texts or walks away from him mid-sentence. Part of being a well-rounded man is understanding these different knowledges and abilities. I don’t need to tell you that confining yourself to one type of venue or part of the day can seriously limit your success. Neither type of game is easier or harder, just different.

During the day…

1. Simplicity is king.

Elaborate openers and dramatic behavior can sometimes yield results in the night-club environment, especially when they’re unique and do a good job of getting a girl’s attention. The same goes for what you wear. A loud article might get you noticed, as long as it’s not too ridiculous. But, during the day, these sorts of things will get you written off as weird and, nine times out of ten, will scare the girl off. Your goal is to spark mild, gradually increasing intrigue, not to create a big splash.

 2. Shields are down (or rather, different shields are up).

When a girl gets ready to out at night, she assembles an elaborate costume that often makes her look nothing like herself: an impractically short dress, high heels, straightened hair, tons of make-up, and jewelry. With every layer that she slaps on, her confidence grows. By the time she walks out the door, she has a “girl swagger” borne from “knowing she looks good.” Even an ugly, fat girl’s sense of worth will be a few clicks higher after donning her costume.

This is worsened by being with a group of girlfriends who are all dressed that way and constantly validate each other’s “sexiness” by telling one another, successfully get noticed through attention-whoring, and then repeatedly reject guys who are fawning attention on them. With every rejection, her confidence climbs higher. It’s a vicious, self-reinforcing loop.

During the day, this form of “night courage” is greatly diminished, even if a girl is well dressed. What you get instead is a greater suspiciousness toward strangers and reluctance to engage in conversation. A girl’s “weirdness” meter is at full sensitivity; even the slightest awkwardness can set it off. This is why the best day-game approaches are ones that are gradual, gentle, and unfold organically.

3. Outcomes are more modest.

The reason guys still go out at night is because you can do major damage pretty quickly. If you’ve done things right, it’s not unreasonable to be making out with a girl 30 minutes after you’ve met her in a bar. Alcohol is a powerful social lubricant that, when combined with the cover of darkness and loud music, provides a powerful atmosphere for sex. This will rarely happen at a bookstore. It’s not uncommon to take a girl home the same night you met her at a bar, but even getting an “insta-date” (where you go somewhere else with a girl) is quite rare during the day. What you get at the end of a vast majority of well-executed day approaches is a warm lead (in the form of a phone number) that you can later convert into something more.

4. Indicators of interest are far more subtle.

In the safety of the bar atmosphere, a girl will do all sorts of things that she would never think of doing during the day. At night, a girl who’s even somewhat interested in you might: grind against your erect phallus for 45 minutes on the dance floor, kiss you on the cheek for no reason, tell you you’re cute, grab your arm when you make her laugh, or perform a multitude of similar behaviors. This simply won’t happen during the day, where asking you a personal question about what you do, holding eye contact while you’re talking, or grinning for a straight minute might be really good signs.

5. Groups are harder to penetrate.

In a club, you can come up to a group of three girls, chat them up for a few minutes, make them laugh, and eventually angle to isolate your target for long enough to kiss her or to persuade her to leave with you. During the day, a group of girls is nearly impossible to break up. The exception is a retail environment, where a group may temporary split up to browse the shelves, but even this is rare. Generally speaking, you will have more success with individual girls, though exceptions do occur.

A big part of being successful during the day is to understand these and other differences, and to adapt your day game accordingly. Keep these in mind and you will greatly expand your pool of available girls.

Posted on December 11 2011 in Bars & Clubs, Daytime Game

What Homeless Guys Can Teach You About Day Game

You can learn a lot from homeless guys about approaching girls during the day. 

If you’re like me, you’ve spent a lot of time in cities with droves of panhandling homeless people. In fact, for a significant part of my life, it’s been nearly impossible for me to get from Point A to Point B without being hit up for change at least once. Sometimes, I’d get asked for money by the same person on the way to my destination and on the return trip. With that much practice, one thing you get pretty good at doing is identifying the different techniques these guys use. There aren’t that many and, even when a guy is trying to be subtle about it, he usually telegraphs some sign that sets off your I’m-about-to-get-asked-for-money alert system.

Another area you hone is your arsenal of ways to say no. You can turn them down verbally, with a simple “sorry” or “I don’t have any” excuse; more gently, by giving a subtle “no” head-shake or shrugging-of-the-shoulders; or by preventing the interaction altogether, by speeding up or avoiding eye contact. Your skills improve with every solicitation. I had a friend who even figured out a way to stop his car just the right way at freeway entrances, so that when panhandlers approached his car, he could keep it crawling long enough for the light to turn green.

So what does all of this have to do with being a player?

I call it the homeless alarm. That same feeling you get when you absolutely know you’re about to get hit up for change by a homeless guy during the day—while just trying to go about your business—is the same feeling a cute girl gets when a “random guy” approaches her with low-quality or sloppy game. It doesn’t take much to set off that alarm and, because you can’t unring that bell, you want to avoid it at all costs. It automatically makes it a lot less likely that you’re going to get any “money” out of her.

Even if she’s pretty young, she’s lived with bad game for years, and pretty much knows all the common, lame approaches average guys use. And, just like my friend’s car-crawling technique, she’s developed a set of techniques of her own for dismissing each of them quickly or, in most cases, avoiding the situation entirely. Even when a guy tries to be subtle about these crappy moves, she instinctively knows he wants something from her, and that he has little to offer in return besides an extended, open hand. She may listen for two seconds, but she’s actively looking for a way to get out of the discussion.

So how do you avoid setting off the homeless alarm?

Top-notch day game hinges on subtlety. Approaching girls during the day isn’t the same as being in a nightclub, where being direct and to-the-point about your intentions is not usually a problem and, in fact, often gets you results. In a way, this is what makes day game easier. So much of being successful during the daytime is about being in a mindset that probably more closely resembles your natural state: just having a regular, innocent conversation with “no intentions” going in.

When you approach a girl during the day, you have to think like a panhandler trying to avoid the setting off that alarm with the same, tired, transparent techniques every other guy on your block uses to try to get people to give up the change. You don’t want to look or seem “homeless.” It’s a sad testament, but if a clean, cool, well-spoken guy came up to you, chatted you up naturally, made you laugh, and after a while said, “hey, man, can I bum fifty cents off of you? I just realized I’m a little short for a sandwich,” you’d probably give it to him.

Be that guy. Don’t set off a girl’s homeless alarm until well into your conversation, after she’s already comfortable with you. You’ll be surprised at the “change” you collect by the end of the day.

Posted on November 13 2011 in Approaching, Daytime Game

Day Bang: How To Casually Pick Up Girls During The Day

After much delay, I’m happy to release my day game book. It addresses a major weakness of my previous game book Bang, which is teaching men how to approach women during the day.

Day Bang is a 201-page book that teaches you how to game women during the day, primarily in a coffee shop, clothing store, bookstore, grocery store, subway, or on the street. It contains 51 openers, 23 long dialogue examples with commentary, and dozens of additional lines that teach by example.

Day Bang includes…

  • The optimal day game mindset that leads to the most amount of success
  • An easy mental trick to prevent your brain from going into a flight-or-fight response when it’s time to approach a woman you’re attracted to
  • A detailed breakdown of how to use the “elderly opener,” an easy style of approach that reliably starts conversations with women
  • 2 ways to tell if a girl will be receptive to your approach
  • How to avoid the dreaded “interview vibe”
  • 10 common mistakes guys make that hurt their chances of getting a number

Day Bang shares tons of tips and real examples on having successful conversations. It teaches you…

  • How to use my bait system to get the girl engaged and interested in you
  • How to segue out of the initial opening topic into a more personal chat where you’ll get to know the girl on a deeper level
  • How to take the interesting things you’ve done (your accomplishments, hobbies, and experiences) and morph them into bait hooks that gets the girl intrigued enough to want to go out with you
  • My “Galnuc” method to seamlessly get a girl’s number
  • An easy hack at the end of your interactions that will reduce the chance of a flake and prime the girl for going out with you
  • Ways to open up a conversation on a girl who isn’t giving you much to work with

Day Bang goes into painstaking detail on how to approach women in a variety of common environments…

  • How to open a girl in coffee shops when she has a book, laptop, mp3 player, cell phone, research paper, crossword or Sudoku puzzle, or nothing at all
  • Two methods for approaching a girl on the street, depending on if she’s moving or not, with a diagram to explain all the approach variations
  • How to approach in a retail store or mall environment, with openers to use on customers or sales clerks
  • How to approach in bookstores, with specific tips on how to customize your approaches in the cafe, magazine section, or general book aisles
  • How to meet women in public transportation, on both the bus and subway
  • How to meet women in grocery stores
  • How to approach girls in secondary venues like a beach, casino, concert, gym, hair salon, handicraft fair, museum, art show, park, public square, or wine festival

Dozens of additional topics are logically organized into 12 chapters…

  • Preparation. How to reduce your approach anxiety
  • Opening. How to deliver your opener in a way that doesn’t scare women away
  • Rambling. How to have conversations that make women interested in you
  • Closing. How to get a number in a way that reduces the chance she’ll flake
  • The Coffee Shop. How to hit on girls in coffee shops and cafes
  • The Street. How to hit on girls outdoors
  • The Clothing Shop. How to hit on girls in retail shops, malls, and big box stores
  • The Bookstore. How to hit on girls in bookstores
  • Public Transportation. How to hit on girls in the bus, subway, or long distance transportation
  • The Grocery Store. How to hit on girls in grocery stores
  • Other Venues. How to hit on girls just about anywhere else women can be found
  • Putting It All Together. How to maximize your day game potential

The lessons taught in this 75,000 word, no-fluff textbook will help you meet women during the day. If you need tips on what to do after getting her number, consult my other book Bang, which contains an A-to-Z banging strategy. Day Bang focuses exclusively on daytime approaching.

Here’s a review by a reader who won a pre-release copy:

I was really excited to finally read Roosh’s take on day game. (That’s why I hit refresh about 1,000 times while trying to win it in the forum contest a few weeks back.) I was introduced to the concept by reading some of Jeremy Soul’s stuff from Love Systems, and I’ve loved reading Krauser’s uber-alpha take on it. It’s funny though, as both of them focus on approaching much the same way you do in night game: walk around, see a target you like, and then go open her.

I tried it out for a bit and found decent success, but it seemed so forced, much like the whole Mystery Method of night game. I don’t have the best game at night, but mostly my game is predicated on setting up what appears to be random bumps/introductions/questions, etc. As a result, it seems just entirely natural, and I’ve had many girls say that to me in bed afterwards, that they liked how I didn’t try to game them – it just naturally happened (which is, of course, not true).

I didn’t know what to expect from Roosh on this topic, but I’m already a big fan of his. His approach to game seems the least contrived of anyone out there. And after reading Day Bang, he cements his position as the guru for normal people. It is a method/philosophy that fits me like a glove.

I’ve always been an outgoing person, so the concept of the elderly ramble was not only hilarious, but something pretty close to what I do on a regular basis. But seeing it codified really hit home. Roosh focuses much more on situational encounters than the street game so favored by others, and again, it just seems so much more natural. If I had to summarize Day Bang in one sentence, it would be “Day Game for Actual Humans”.

I could really go on at length, but the book is worth it even if just for getting to understand the idea of the elderly ramble or to internalize the metaphor of girls as cats during the day (Every day when I’m walking around the city, my head keeps saying “Don’t scare the cat.”). At its core, he gives simple rules like this to keep in your head until they become unconscious behaviors. The first half of the book is basics like this, which culminates in “Galnuc”. At first, I had no idea what that meant either – but after he explains it, it’s like every other one of his concepts. A simple explanation and map for a reality you already knew existed but couldn’t describe. Seriously, between the ramble, don’t scare the cat and Galnuc – that’s like 80% of the battle. And since I can internalize that quickly, I can begin to live in the moment, instead of focusing on mechanics.

I think this is Roosh’s best gift. He’s explaining simple fundamentals – things that no longer need explaining to him, as he has progressed well past them – however, despite his distance from such a beginner’s mindset, he’s able to lay out the structure in such clear and relaxed language. There’s none of that boot-camp “Approach 1,000 women now, private!” bullshit, just some of the best writing style in all of the game community. It never feels like he’s writing a book or talking from on high about how things have to be; you really don’t feel his ego coming through the pages like you do with other game writers.

The book concludes with just a ton of information on how to succeed in some particular locations. From simple tips – to full-on diagrams of coffee shops and more. The breakdowns of each place let you begin to see how he thinks, and that is the type of learning that builds you into a more complete man instead of a robot with lines.

Somehow, Day Bang wasn’t at all what I was expecting. I had gotten used to the idea of day game being exclusively about street attempts. But after reading it, I feel like day game isn’t some big thing I have to conquer, it’s just going to become part of my life. Congrats Roosh. Job well done. And again, the writing style was so natural and flowed so well. You have honed a true skill.

Click one of the following links to learn more:

Thanks to everyone for being patient while I worked on this book. I think you’ll find that it was worth the wait.

Posted on October 18 2011 in Daytime Game

Example Of Really Bad Approach Strategy

Here’s an email I received recently…

Roosh

Recently, ive been testing out a new approach and getting sporadic results. im in israel for the summer and am seriously intent on hooking up with israeli girls. I simply approach a girl and ask her in poor, pathetic hebrew (even though im almost fluent) for her advice. I tell her im looking for a cute, sweet israeli but have only found skanks. I ask if she can offer any advice. This worked on a waitress and i went out with her a couple times. other girls are simply not feeling it.

GirlsHow would u suggest i tighten/tweak this approach? Do u think its better to begin the conversation in english and then transition to hebrew?

My Answer:

Your opener sucks. Why would you be trashing “skanks” to girls you want to have fast sex with? It decreases attraction instead of building it. Tease and use humor and instead.

“Hi how are you. Do you know a good place where I can get _______?” Ask for some food, good hummus, whatever.

She’ll answer. Then you say…

“Also by the way i’m here for a short time. I’m looking for a nice wife…. can you maybe lead me to the right coffee shop where I can find one?” Then you smile so she knows you are joking.

She’ll laugh and you say, “No i’m just kidding but i don’t know many people here. This city is interesting though…”

Then ramble from there. Try a couple approaches in bad Hebrew and a couple in English to see which works better. Work off that and don’t email me back until you get some action.

Approaching is the hardest part of the game. There is nothing natural or easy about walking up to a girl you don't know and talking to her in a way that makes her laugh, builds attraction, and ends with her giving you her phone number.

After approaching hundreds of different girls with all types of openers, I finally settled on two that are my "defaults," meaning they are powerful enough that I can use them regardless of the girl or the environment. I share them in my book Bang, along with others you can use for bars, clubs, daytime spots, and even the gym. It has 64 pages on Early Game that focus exclusively on the approach and what to say immediately after. I share dozens of conversation tips with tons of word-for-word examples, and I also teach you the concept of threads to keep the interaction going without having awkward silences.

You can take the time to make up openers on your own, experimenting over the next several months, or you can learn mine and get started using something that works off the bat. If you want to learn my favorite natural openers that are easy to use and actually work, click here to learn more about my book Bang today.

Posted on September 28 2009 in Approaching, Daytime Game, Q&A