A lot of what determines this is simple logistics: the what/where/when of your planning and execution. The underlying principle of good logistics is, in the simplest terms, always planning with sex in mind. Even if your dates don’t lead to sex—and they often won’t—planning for the best-case scenario will make you more successful, more often.

Good date-logistics start with the basics: picking a suitable venue and time. There’s no perfect place, so don’t obsess over this. Don’t plan anything complicated, distracting, or otherwise gratuitous, like skydiving or horseback riding. Since you’re supposed to be “getting to know each other,” you’re not going to raise any eyebrows by picking a simple bar or night lounge. Night is always better than day. And it’s always best to go to a place that serves alcohol, since coffee-shop or restaurant dates rarely lead to any kind of intimacy. Your goal is to establish a mood.

Coffee shops simply don’t provide the atmosphere for physical escalation. When was the last time you saw a guy make out with a girl at Starbucks? Restaurants are even worse. A girl with a full stomach is a girl with an empty vagina. The digestion process pulls blood away from the reproductive organs for both of you—especially if it’s a heavy meal with tons of cheese and meat. So even if she wanted to have sex before the meal, she’s not going to want to while she’s busy digesting and secretly farting every five minutes. Food also absorbs alcohol. So even if you drink eating, she’s not going to get into that relaxed, fun mood that is conducive to sex.

Schedule your dates after standard dinner time. If you end up in a place where they serve food, and the girl announces she’s hungry, say “you get food, I already ate.” She’ll likely get something small, so she doesn’t appear like a total porker in front of you—or will ask you to split something with her, where you can further control the selection. (The exception, of course, is if she’s fat, where she’s already demonstrated little shame in her eating behavior, as telegraphed by her sloppy physique that loudly advertises her love for food to the entire world.) Best case: avoid places that serve anything beyond light “tapas.”

Some bars are definitely better than others. It’s best if you already have venues in mind that are cool, comfortable, not too crowded or loud, and most importantly, conveniently located. That “perfect bar” that requires taking three buses or driving 45 minutes on the interstate to get there is going to do you no good. Ideally, you want to pick a venue from which you can easily and comfortably move to your place (or hers). It doesn’t need to be next door (this, in fact, might seem a little too transparent), but it should be accessible. Oftentimes, the only thing that keeps a girl from coming home with you is that it’s somehow difficult, time-consuming, or awkward. You need to anticipate and remove as many of those objections ahead of time as you can.

Smart venue selection can make all the difference between a memorable night with your date and another night of jerking off to Internet porn. Plan ahead and reap your rewards.

It’s best to accept that buying alcohol for girls you’re trying to bang is pretty much a necessary evil. Guys will tell tales about how they didn’t spend a single dollar on a girl and slept with her anyway or, in some exceptional cases, somehow made money in the deal. (In fact, I once spent $1.37 over the course of an entire two-month relationship with a girl, not counting gas money.) But absent those cases, alcohol is often an important factor in getting a girl into bed. Alcohol loosens a girl up, makes her comfortable with you, and makes her more amenable to sex. Even if you don’t pound it that night, having drinks with her builds positive memories of having “fun” with you, which eventually leads to the bang.

Does that mean you should start throwing drinks at random chicks in hopes of getting laid? Absolutely not. In fact, that’ll produce the opposite effect. Unless you buy girls drinks the right way, in the right setting, all you’re doing is crushing money into her vagina—and losing respect in the process. I can’t count the times I’ve seen a guy in a bar buy a random girl a drink, only to get a 10-minute courtesy conversation and nothing else. Girls go to bars and clubs precisely because these venues are among the most advantageous settings for them. For a small fee (or no cost at all), girls get massive attention (something they covet as much as we covet sex), the luxury of turning down dozens of horny guys, and free drinks from chump drink-providers.

Here’s how to avoid becoming a drink-chump:

1. Buy Drinks Only for Girls That Have “Earned It”. Buying drinks for girls you don’t know, who haven’t made any kind of investment in you (e.g., going out on a date), or given you anything (like a kiss) is a sucker’s game. Don’t fall into the trap of trying to impress a girl by buying her things. If a girl has come out with you on a “date,” made out with you in the corner, or bought you a drink earlier in the night, she’s probably earned a drink from you. If a girl has the temerity to ask you for a drink, hit her with a strong wise-crack (e.g., “would you prefer the cash?”) and the rest will take care of itself.

2. “I’ll Get the First Round”. I learned this line when I was first getting into game and it remains, to this day, one of the most powerful in my arsenal. It’s best saved for pre-bang drink “dates.” It communicates two important messages: (1) I’m not a total cheap-ass who won’t buy you anything; but also (2) I’m not your free-refills drinking fountain for the night. I still crack a smile when, after the first round, a girl takes out her purse and asks me what I want.

3. The Power of Sharing Drinks. There are occasions when you’re vibing a girl at the bar, you want to keep her happily buzzed, but don’t want to ruin the interaction (and your cash flow) by buying her a drink. A solid middle-ground is offering to share a drink with her. This accomplishes several things at once: it starts to subconsciously prepare her for fluid exchange with you, it allows you to “critique” the drink together, it keeps her drinking, and it keeps you from looking like a drink provider. Not only that, you can often take turns with her on buying drinks for you to share, further escalating the effects.

As long as you follow these three guidelines, the drinks you buy will help you connect with the girl instead of the other way around.

It would be a waste to spend all that time approaching and talking to get her number and then blow it on the phone when you try to set a date. What's even more important than getting a number is knowing what to do with it.

I remember when I went on a number collecting spree for six months just to practice my phone game. I was tired of it costing me notches, and didn't get very far with using e-mail. I tested everything I could, even seemingly basic things like the best times to call, until I settled on the most optimal system that resulted in the greatest number of first dates.

In my book Bang I share with you my phone game in several very detailed pages, from how to get her on the phone, when to text or call her, and how to ask her out. My text messaging template helps you get a girl out on a date with very little work.

It may take a few tries for you to successfully adopt my phone system, but I think it will be a big improvement if you don't already have one in place right now. Click here to learn more about my book Bang today, where it's all spelled out for you in very clear, no-bullshit language.

Here’s what you to say:

“Well it got me laid last week with some slut. I don’t see why it shouldn’t work again.”

Enjoy the embarrassed look on her face as she stews in silence trying to think of a comeback. Then turn your back on her. She’ll think twice before saying that nonsense to another man.

If she accuses you of using lines much later in the interaction, like at the 30 minute point or beyond, she’s telling you to “Be real.” You still got a shot.

Approaching is the hardest part of the game. There is nothing natural or easy about walking up to a girl you don't know and talking to her in a way that makes her laugh, builds attraction, and ends with her giving you her phone number.

After approaching hundreds of different girls with all types of openers, I finally settled on two that are my "defaults," meaning they are powerful enough that I can use them regardless of the girl or the environment. I share them in my book Bang, along with others you can use for bars, clubs, daytime spots, and even the gym. It has 64 pages on Early Game that focus exclusively on the approach and what to say immediately after. I share dozens of conversation tips with tons of word-for-word examples, and I also teach you the concept of threads to keep the interaction going without having awkward silences.

You can take the time to make up openers on your own, experimenting over the next several months, or you can learn mine and get started using something that works off the bat. If you want to learn my favorite natural openers that are easy to use and actually work, click here to learn more about my book Bang today.

I bought Bang a couple of months ago and have enjoyed reading it. I’ve also been reading/listening to Carlos Xuma’s “Secrets of the Alpha Man” program. He stresses that men should not touch a woman or try to sleep with her too soon, as this conveys neediness and impatience. In fact he states that a woman will usually get close and let the man know when she’s ready to physically escalate (whether that be touching or having sex).

From my understanding, your view is that a man should always get touchy/feely on the first date and go for the lay sooner rather than later.

I’m quite inexperienced when it comes to women, and am wondering what to do with these 2 conflicting points of view. What are your thoughts on this?

My Answer:

Great question.

The truth is both are correct. Remember that there are many to skin a cat.

When you want to screen a girl for her easiness, it’s best to touch her early and often. If she accepts your advances you know that this girl is probably horny and wants to fuck.

When you want to get a girl chasing you, then it’s best not to touch much. Let her work for it.

You can get laid using both methods, but the first method is for beginners who don’t have tight enough game to get girls to chase them yet. Basically you’re just trying to turn the girl on by touching. The second method is more advanced when your shit is together and no longer have to work as hard. I have moved more towards the second method, but when I know a girl is trying to fuck, I touch often.

First, if you’re getting vibes from other girls, get your girl drunk so she’s oblivious to your moves.

Next, wait until your girl goes to the bathroom then approach the girl. Due to the time limitation we’re going direct.

“Hey I think you’re kind of cute. Do you like hairy men with beards?

Change “hairy men with beads” to a physical quality that you possess. Include a self-depreciative quality to tap her funny bone.

If you get a yes or maybe say, “Well I got some good news!”

Continue with, “Look so tonight I’m hanging out with my friend and she’s nice and all but she’s just a friend. I don’t have time to get to know you right now but do you want to grab a drink some time and talk? If after one drink we don’t get along then I’ll make an excuse about how my cat has a headache and then we go our separate ways.”

If she responds positively, say, “What’s your number?”

Sneak in a quick peck on the lips even though you act like you’re going to kiss her on the cheek. You must try to make some lip contact.

If your girl busts you say it’s an old college classmate and you didn’t want to be rude.

This doesn’t have a particular high success rate but it’s the best we can do given the situation. “Direct” openers tend to be less successful than not because you force the girl right then and there to decide if she likes you. In most cases I recommend you use “indirect” game where you don’t show your cards right away.

After trying dozens and dozens of different indirect openers, I finally settled on two that are my “defaults,” meaning they are powerful enough that I can use them regardless of the girl or the environment. I share them in my book Bang, along with others you can use for bars, clubs, daytime spots, and even the gym.

You can take the time to make up openers on your own, experimenting over the next several months, or you can learn mine and get started using something that works off the bat. If you want to learn my favorite natural openers that are easy to use and actually work, click here to learn about my book Bang today.

What the f*&%?!

And she said it with such disdain. It put me on the spot and I didn’t have a good comeback. I said, “No hablo ingles,” a terribly weak response. I just wasn’t prepared.

Even thinking about it now, there isn’t an obvious correct move. If I say yes then I show my cards right away, but if I say no then I set myself up for, “So why are you looking at her? Why are you talking to her? It’s obvious you like her.”

This cockblock was so effective that I had a dream about it. I woke up and decided to harness its power and adapt it for use on other guys. Now if a guy is moving in on a girl I’m interested in, and I feel that I’m losing power, I can ask him in front of her, “Do you like her?”

If he says yes then I can put him in a bad position by saying, “Well you should buy her a drink then!” If he buys her a drink then he’s just another beta male in the bar and if he doesn’t then it looks awkward because he just verbally admitted his affection for her.

If he says he doesn’t like her or weasels out of answering I’ll say, “Well there are a lot of girls here. I’m sure you will find someone who you like if you keep trying. Don’t give up!” He’s done. It’s like I’m giving him relationship advice in front of the girl.

He is going to scramble and say, “Oh, um, I’m not here to pick up girls.” Now he just put his dick in a box. Without even raising your voice or having to get tough, you can suck the game out of any guy with very simple verbal ninja. Hell, this technique worked on me even though I spend the bulk of my time thinking about these things.

It’s okay to get bitched in the field. But it’s not okay to get bitched in the same way twice. A great thing about experience is that you put yourself in a lot of situations that you’ll see more than once. Use your down time to think about how to better react for the next time.

That’s all it means to have “tight” game—to be ready for whatever is thrown at you. It’s about refining and improving what you do until it’s mastered.

So I thought about what to say the next time a fat girl asks me if I like her friend. I’ll say, “Why do you ask, do you want me to like her? Because I like everyone!” Then I’ll put my arms around both girls and say how I’m having a great time. All this is done with a huge smile on my face. I want to squash her negativity with a fun party vibe that makes her look really bad if she continues cockblocking.

I think this is much better than saying “I don’t speak English” in Spanish.

It’s only by THINKING, with the help of experience, that I figured out this easy method to put the brakes on other guys. It’s how I came up with a lot of tricks that have made getting laid easy.

Now I’m sure there’s a lot of guys who get laid more than me, but the problem is they’re unable to explain why they’re successful. These “naturals” will say something trivial like “Just be cool” or “Be funny” when you ask them how they always get girls. The reason is because they simply don’t know what they do correctly.

Well I’m not a natural. I’ve had to learn everything the hard way, and I’ve examined every little behavior and line and move to see if it works or not. After six years of experiencing and thinking about game, I captured all the techniques that actually work, that are explainable and reproducible for other average guys just like me, into a book called Bang.

If you find yourself in the spot where you’re not getting the girls you want, then I think the system I teach will make your life a lot less frustrating. With my book you will build the confidence and know-how to bang a girl quickly without having to wine and dine her in the hopes that she may open her legs. If you’re doubtful about how much my book can help you, then click here to learn about everything inside Bang.

You’re at a bar talking to some girl. The first question she asks you is “What do you do?” You reply, “I’m a world-class clay potter. I do exhibits here in D.C.” The girl looks at her friend and rolls her eyes. “What a loser, bragging about clay pots,” she thinks. The conversation dies down a couple minutes later.

You’re at a bar talking to some girl. The first question she asks you is “What do you do?” You reply, “You mean for money?”

“Uh yeah for money.”

“Well it’s complicated.”

“Complicated?”

“Yeah well I work with the Earth. I make things with mud and dirt. Then I sell my mud creations to discerning individuals.”

“Are you serious?” she asks.

“Yeah I love mud. I just have this thing for mud. I mean, who doesn’t?”

“I don’t,” she scoffs.

“Well that’s a shame. Thanks to mud, I’m able to come to bars like this and buy this beer. Cause of MUD.”

“You’re weird.”

Then she gives you a look, wondering if you’re serious or not. Three hours later you’re banging her on your bed. On her way out, she notices a picture of you handing a clay pot to the mayor of some small Eastern European town, a piece you sold him years ago. You call her a few days later and she agrees to go out with you, and you sleep with her again.

Logic dictates that you should directly state an accomplishment to a girl in hopes of bedding her, but as many guys know, this doesn’t work. If logic worked, guys would be wearing t-shirts with their yearly income and/or dick size (the latter for me), yet in reality they would be labeled a douche and laughed out the bar.

Be shady and dance around the answer instead. Purposefully not impressing a girl is the best way to impress her, since it shows you don’t care about her and that your value is higher than hers.

Let her find out things eventually on her own by accident (after some insinuation on your part) where the effect will be much more potent. Let her think: “Why didn’t he brag about this great accomplishment?” Let her come at you with a million personal questions instead of you laying it out there for her.

Before I studied the game no attractive girl would ask me questions about myself because I had no idea know how to convey my interesting qualities in a confident, non-needy manner. So the only girls who would hang out with me in college were ones who wanted to use my brain to help them study for exams. I was always the friend and never the guy that girls were sexually attracted to.

After college I decided to get this part of my life handled. I was lucky to have a couple friends who were club rats and knew how to approach and game women. I started off copying their moves and lines and in the course of six years I developed a system on my own that consistently builds attraction and results in phone numbers, make-outs, and bangs.

I no longer have to be friends with girls in the hopes that maybe one day she will want to have sex with me. I no longer hug my pillow at night wondering why I got shafted yet again. Now I meet a girl, game her, and wait for her to ask me questions that serves as a green light to take the interaction to the next level.

I recorded my system into an book that I call Bang. It has everything that I know about girls divided into five chapters of game: Internal, Early, Middle, Late, and End Game.

I’m confident it’s the only book you’ll ever need to read about banging girls, and I completely back it up with a no-questions-asked money back guarantee. If you’ve ever spotted a girl you were attracted to and wondered how you could talk to her in a way that ends in sex, then Bang is for you. Click here to read ten full-length sample pages of Bang today.

I have an extremely good female friend (platonic — who i’m not physically interested in ) — but I love hanging out with her, but usually leave her home when I’m going to go do pick-up. Whenever I bring her out, I feel like she kills my game; either because I’d rather hang out with her than most of the dumb girls I meet, or most girls just assume she’s my girlfriend. Is there a better way to play this? She has a very beginners knowledge of pick-up stuff that I’ve told her, and is conventionally attractive. I don’t want to her use her in anyway that would be weird later on — if i started dating some girl i picked up — since i would want the new girl to hang out with my friends.

So far the only way I’ve made this work — is when i was out with her + other friends, saw a girl across the bar that I had picked up the week before, and made her go over — make friends with the new girl (“randomly”) — then acted like it was a coincidence later on (oh my god — you’re friends with so and so too?)

Any ideas?

My Answer:

You answered your own question. Cut her loose. Hang out with her once every two weeks at most. I had the same problem, hanging out with three lady friends. With them i felt like they were watching and judging me. Eventually I ditched them and got some guy friends and had a lot more success. Knowing girls, she will give you slight cutting remarks that discourage you and plus you won’t be able to go balls out because you will wonder what she thinks. Pick up is hard enough—you don’t need that on your shoulder.

I’m sure you can somehow introduce her into your game to help, but she won’t help you more than with a proper wingman. Lady friends kill game.

On the first column list the bars or clubs you have frequented the most in the last four years, especially ones you’ve gotten laid from. If you have gotten laid from a non-alcoholic venue like a particular coffee shop then include that in the list too.

In the second column estimate as best as you can the number of times you’ve been to each place during those four years.

In the third column list the number of times you’ve banged a girl that you met at each venue.

Finally in the fourth column divide the two numbers to get a success rate percentage.

Is the highest percentage venue the one you go to most often?

Let’s take this a step further. In the fifth column put down a dollar amount that is your average cost for a night out at each venue.

In the sixth column multiply columns two and five to get total money spent.

Then lastly in the seventh column divide columns six and three, to get the average cost per notch from each venue. Surprised?

I lamented the close of Dragonfly, the Washington DC venue I banged quite a few of women at, but I’ve been so many times that turns out my success rate there was rather pitiful and my cost per notch astronomical at five times higher than the next best venue.

There is even a bar that is one of my current favorites that the numbers don’t justify I visit while a bar across the street that I often skip has yielded much better fruit.

Why do I continue to select venues against my best interests? I don’t know but the numbers don’t lie, no matter how much I think one place is better than the next.

While bars and clubs are the dominant venues I talk about my book Bang, in the Appendix I share advice on how to pick up girls in other situations like on the street, from a car, in a coffee shop, and in the gym.

Have you ever had the problem where you saw a girl you liked, but didn’t know how to have a conversation with her? Well that’s the exact problem Bang solves, by giving you tons of lines that you can use almost anywhere. If you’re looking for a game resource that helps you talk to women, then click here to read sample pages of Bang today.