Picking Up Girls With A Platonic Lady Friend Wingman

Time for another reader question…

I have an extremely good female friend (platonic — who i’m not physically interested in ) — but I love hanging out with her, but usually leave her home when I’m going to go do pick-up. Whenever I bring her out, I feel like she kills my game; either because I’d rather hang out with her than most of the dumb girls I meet, or most girls just assume she’s my girlfriend. Is there a better way to play this? She has a very beginners knowledge of pick-up stuff that I’ve told her, and is conventionally attractive. I don’t want to her use her in anyway that would be weird later on — if i started dating some girl i picked up — since i would want the new girl to hang out with my friends.

So far the only way I’ve made this work — is when i was out with her + other friends, saw a girl across the bar that I had picked up the week before, and made her go over — make friends with the new girl (”randomly”) — then acted like it was a coincidence later on (oh my god — you’re friends with so and so too?)

Any ideas?

My Answer:

You answered your own question. Cut her loose. Hang out with her once every two weeks at most. I had the same problem, hanging out with three lady friends. With them i felt like they were watching and judging me. Eventually I ditched them and got some guy friends and had a lot more success. Knowing girls, she will give you slight cutting remarks that discourage you and plus you won’t be able to go balls out because you will wonder what she thinks. Pick up is hard enough—you don’t need that on your shoulder.

I’m sure you can somehow introduce her into your game to help, but she won’t help you more than with a proper wingman. Lady friends kill game.

It would be a waste to spend all that time approaching and talking to get her number and then blow it on the phone or through your text messages. Make it easy for yourself by learning the best practices that save you energy and ensure most numbers turn into first dates. In my book Bang I lay out a very detailed strategy on how to work the phone when you get numbers. Click here to learn more...

Is Your Venue Selection Flawed?

There’s only one way to find out if you’re way of finding girls is paying off, and that’s to look at your past results. I want you to take part in this exercise and open up a new spreadsheet in Excel.

On the first column list the top bars or clubs you have been to the last four years, especially ones you’ve gotten laid from. If you have gotten laid from a non-alcoholic venue like a particular coffee shop then include that in the list too. In the second column estimate as best as you can the number of times you’ve been there during that four years.

In the third column list the number of times you’ve banged a girl that you met at each venue. Then in the fourth column divide the two numbers to get a success rate percentage.

Is the highest percentage bars your most frequented bars?

Let’s take this a step further. In the fifth column put down a dollar amount that is your average cost for a night out at each venue. In the sixth column multiply columns two and five to get total money spent. Finally, in the seventh column divide columns six and three, to get the average cost per notch from each venue.

I lamented the close of Dragonfly, the Washington DC venue I shagged a ton of women at, but I’ve been so many times that turns out my success rate there was rather pitiful and my cost per notch astronomical at five times higher than the next best venue.

There is even a bar that is one of my current favorites that the numbers don’t justify as such while a bar across the street I skip has yielded much better fruit. How could I so easily continue to select venues against my best interests? It’s like my brain has blind spots which prevent me from going after my best interests.

The numbers don’t lie, no matter how much you think one place is better than the next.

The limit to where we can meet women exists only in our heads. While bars and clubs are the dominant venues I talk about my book Bang, in the Appendix I share advice on how to pick up girls in other situations, like on the street, from a car, in a coffee shop, and in the gym. If you are under 21 then I think you’ll find the Appendix to be especially useful.

Approaching is the hardest part of the game. Unless you know what you are doing it will take hundreds of tries to get master it through trial and error (I should know because that's how I learned). If you're working on your approaching skills then check out my book Bang, which tells you how to do it from start to end. Click here to learn more...

Quick & Effective Way To Isolate Her At A Bar

Most of the time at a bar or club the girl you approach will help you isolate herself from her cockblocking friends. She’ll let them go off to another part of the venue or the bathroom and stick with you. But sometimes this doesn’t happen. If they are hanging on her and you sense a moment to strike, try this simple yet effective isolation move:

“How about you come to the bar with me so I can get a drink…”

If the club is especially crowded, leave your hand out for her to grab. Once you get the drink, offer her a sip, but DO NOT buy her a drink. Linger at the bar, put your arm on her waist, and make a move before your drink is done. It’s as easy as I describe because if she allows herself to be isolated in this way she is ready to make out with you.

The whole point of the game, besides some cheap thrills in the sack, is to find the quality girl you deserve instead of having to settle like most guys do. The reason you are reading this right now is because you believe the path lies in game. If you're looking to possess the whole package, from the right inner game all the way to successful dates that end in sex, check out my book Bang. It's a one-stop shop for the most important things you need to know. Click here to learn more...

How To Pick Up Girls At A Bar

The easiest place to find girls to pick up is also the hardest. The reason? Well even though bars and clubs offer a dense population of single females in a small amount of space, there is a handful of things that are working against you, such as…

1. Cockblockers. You think her friends are going to let you sweep her off her feet? You’ll be lucky if you can get in a ten minute conversation before the friend pulls her away.

2. Noise. Especially in the clubs, it can be very hard to have a normal conversation with a girl. So that leaves the dance option available, but talking is the best choice to build a connection. Unless she is attracted to your look she will get bored of dancing and then go on to the next guy.

3. Alcohol. Now this is a double edged sword. On one hand it makes both you and the girl you are talking to more social, but after a certain point the girls will get so drunk so at best you will get a sloppy makeout. It will be rare a drunk girl’s friend will let you take her home (see number 1), and getting her phone number will be useless since she’ll forget about you the next day.

4. Other guys. I still haven’t found a bar that regularly has more girls than guys. Chances are you will be competing against a whole lot of desperate guys and unless you approach often you will be lost in this sea of sausage. It’s not hard to separate yourself from them if you stand out from the crowd with your own style and game, but it does mean you have to put some work into it.

5. Time. Unless you live in a large metropolitan area, the only times you can find a decent number of girls in bars or clubs is on the weekends. So that means you wait the entire week to talk to a girl for a few hour window come Friday night.

Even with all those negative, there are many pick up artists getting laid at nightspots. Lucky for you that 90% of guys have absolutely no game. They just hold the wall up with their warm beer hoping girls talk to them. So here’s my five best tips to approach in bars and clubs:

1. Play the numbers game. When you are approaching girls in the daytime, it can happen that you get an email or number from each girl you approach, but at night the odds are stacked against you. To battle that you need to concentrate on quantity, especially until you build you game up. Don’t leave the house unless you have an intent to approach at least 10 girls, and actually count as you do your approaches.

2. Use funny openers. Funny openers work much better at night. A good one to use is to pick a celebrity you kind of look like, then go up to a group of girls and say, “Hey guys, do I look like *celebrity*.” After they answer, tell them you were wondering because the last girl you talked said you looked like him and you weren’t sure if she was serious or joking around.

3. Touch touch touch. Girls who are intoxicated are much more receptive to touching than sober girls. Take advantage of that by touching often as you pass the 10 and 15 minute mark of the conversation. Good places are her shoulder and small of her back. As you get deeper into the conversation and she responds positively, you can start touching her hands.

4. Go for the make out, not the number. It’s a fools game to go for numbers in bars because the chance she will return your first call is pretty low. In fact if 33% of your numbers call back then you are dealing very well. Okay there are exceptions. If you’ve been talking to her for hours and you have an incredible connection, then by all means go for the phone number, but in that case you should be getting the make out first. Shoot for the ceiling first, and treat the number as a backup prize.

5. Remember this is just a game. There really is no reason to hesitate approaching or experimenting in a bar or club, the last place where you should be nervous or scared about anything. If you bomb, do you really think the girls are going to remember you a day from now? Even if you get a number after talking to her for 15 minutes they might forget you! Bottom line is treat it like a game, don’t give a shit, and keep approaching girls until you are either exhausted or come home with something.

Approaching is the hardest part of the game. Unless you know what you are doing it will take hundreds of tries to get master it through trial and error (I should know because that's how I learned). If you're working on your approaching skills then check out my book Bang, which tells you how to do it from start to end. Click here to learn more...