Picking Up Girls With A Platonic Lady Friend Wingman

Time for another reader question…

I have an extremely good female friend (platonic — who i’m not physically interested in ) — but I love hanging out with her, but usually leave her home when I’m going to go do pick-up. Whenever I bring her out, I feel like she kills my game; either because I’d rather hang out with her than most of the dumb girls I meet, or most girls just assume she’s my girlfriend. Is there a better way to play this? She has a very beginners knowledge of pick-up stuff that I’ve told her, and is conventionally attractive. I don’t want to her use her in anyway that would be weird later on — if i started dating some girl i picked up — since i would want the new girl to hang out with my friends.

So far the only way I’ve made this work — is when i was out with her + other friends, saw a girl across the bar that I had picked up the week before, and made her go over — make friends with the new girl (”randomly”) — then acted like it was a coincidence later on (oh my god — you’re friends with so and so too?)

Any ideas?

My Answer:

You answered your own question. Cut her loose. Hang out with her once every two weeks at most. I had the same problem, hanging out with three lady friends. With them i felt like they were watching and judging me. Eventually I ditched them and got some guy friends and had a lot more success. Knowing girls, she will give you slight cutting remarks that discourage you and plus you won’t be able to go balls out because you will wonder what she thinks. Pick up is hard enough—you don’t need that on your shoulder.

I’m sure you can somehow introduce her into your game to help, but she won’t help you more than with a proper wingman. Lady friends kill game.

It would be a waste to spend all that time approaching and talking to get her number and then blow it on the phone when you try to set a date. What's even more important than getting a number is knowing what to do with it.

I remember when I went on a number collecting spree for six months just to practice my phone game. I was tired of it costing me notches, and didn't get very far with using e-mail. I tested everything I could, even seemingly basic things like the best times to call, until I settled on the most optimal system that resulted in the greatest number of first dates.

In my book Bang I share with you my phone game in several very detailed pages, from how to get her on the phone, when to call her, what voicemail message to leave, what to say when you call her, and how to ask her out. And my phone conversation strategy helps you avoid any awkward silence when you get her on the phone.

It may take a few tries for you to successfully adopt my phone system, but I think it will be a big improvement if you don't already have one in place right now. Click here to learn more about my book Bang today, where it's all spelled out for you in very clear, no-bullshit language.

How To Pick Up Girls Who Speak A Different Language

Here’s a reader question about trying to pick up girls who speak a different language.

Roosh,

In Miami most of my potential victims have little or no english skills. My spanish is borderlines on caveman, but I understand plenty and are able to get me needs understood. What do you think?

My Answer:

Four options:

1. Learn Spanish. Go to Isohunt and download the Pimsleur Spanish courses
2. Bring along a prop. Maybe a dog? Tarot cards?
3. Set up a crude palm reading stand. I image that would be fun
4. Find a new place to meet girls!

I feel your pain though: you have this untapped supply of women and you can do nothing about it. I had this same problem in South America but i was doing this in bars and clubs. The music made the pauses less painful and there was alcohol and a dance floor to help things. I found that a digital camera to show them pictures showed my value while continuing the interaction.

Approaching is the hardest part of the game. There is nothing natural or easy about walking up to a girl you don't know and talking to her in a way that makes her laugh, builds attraction, and ends with her giving you her phone number.

After approaching hundreds of different girls with all types of openers, I finally settled on two that are my "defaults," meaning they are powerful enough that I can use them regardless of the girl or the environment. I share them in my book Bang, along with others you can use for bars, clubs, daytime spots, and even the gym. It has 64 pages on Early Game that focus exclusively on the approach and what to say immediately after. I share dozens of conversation tips with tons of word-for-word examples, and I also teach you the concept of threads to keep the interaction going without having awkward silences.

You can take the time to make up openers on your own, experimenting over the next several months, or you can learn mine and get started using something that works off the bat. If you want to learn my favorite natural openers that are easy to use and actually work, click here to learn more about my book Bang today.

How To Pick Up Girls On The Street

Do girls like being hit on the street by random men?

99% of girls will say no. Actually 100% will say no. The reason is because most men who do it (construction workers, thugs) have horrible street game. In reality girls love being hit on by men who make them feel attraction and give them good conversation, regardless of where it is.

I’m writing this a day after I got the number of an 8/8.5 (according to my friend’s rating), who was walking alone early Tuesday evening in Washington DC. Let me explain how I did it so you can go out there and do it yourself. While you’re reading see if you can pick out the pattern as to why it worked.

While walking on the sidewalk I spotted a very cute girl coming towards me and my friends from the opposite direction. The time was around 8pm. My two friends didn’t know I was going to approach her so they sort of drifted off to the side and talked amongst themselves fifteen feet away while the whole thing happened.

I stopped when she was about five feet away from me and said…

“Excuse me, do you by chance know a good bar to hang out at… one that has more than five guys sitting all sad and lonely?”

She came to a stop and started throwing out names of bars. I playfully shot down all her choices as not being cool and fun enough. In fact I already knew all the bars in the area.

After about 90 seconds of talking about bars I said, “Well, I’m actually looking for bride, a cool chick that I can marry hopefully soon. I was hoping for a place around here where I could find her.”

She laughed and mentioned one more bar name, as if I’d actually find a bride there. I said, “Well we just came from around there and it’s pretty dead tonight. But actually you know what I’m playing… I saw you walking and just wanted to talk to you.” She gave off one of those ‘A-ha I knew it!’ smiles.

The energy of the conversation changed for the better and without too much of a pause I asked her where she was coming from. I completely dropped my initial intention of looking for a bar and just kept the conversation going like I would if I had started talking to her inside one.

I played two quick and fun guessing games:

First: “Judging by your accent, I’m getting a half-German and half-Norwegian vibe.” If you’ve read Bang you’ll see I adapted an opener for use as a routine. She said no, that she’s actually from New York, and I smiled and said, “Are you sure? I don’t know, maybe a little Russian too.”

Second: “And by the way, how old are you?” She replied, “Old enough to get into a club.” I said, “Haha wait wait, you’re that young? No really…” She said “20.” You’ll never meet a young girl who doesn’t like an older man, so I played it up instantly. I said, “Well I hope you like older men, because I’m graying over here.” She said, “Actually I do.”

I asked her where she was going and told her to join us later if she has a fake ID. I added, “Well if I don’t see you tonight, maybe we can get a drink some other time.”

She asked me for my name and I asked for hers and then I took out my cell phone. She gave me her number. We talked for about seven minutes total.

If this looked easy that’s because it was. The only weird thing about it was seeing an attractive girl like that walking alone in D.C.

Let’s identify the key reasons to why my approach worked.

1. DISARM. The street has a lot of crazies, so you need to disarm her in the first second and let her know you are a cool, normal guy. You do this with very relaxed body language, starting off with “Excuse me,” talking slow, and asking for help. It’s hard for anyone to resist helping someone, and if you’ve ever been a tourist in a strange land you’ll understand the human desire to be helpful. This is our “in.”

2. GET OVER THE HUMP. In street game there is a 30 second hump. If she stops to talk to you for half-a-minute then she can stop and talk indefinitely. I shot down her bar choices so the clock would keep ticking.

3. MAKE HER LAUGH. It doesn’t have to be with great jokes, but you need to keep the energy light and fun, like you would in any other pickup. I used the “bride” joke which I made up on the spot. A couple jokes are okay but don’t turn this into comedy hour. When she recommends bars, I would say something like, “Oh that’s too yuppie” or “Hmm yeah that bar has scary people in it.”

4. SEGUE. Your typical street game approach needs a segue that goes from talking about bars or whatever you opened with to talking about each other. In this case I did that by saying, “I just wanted to talk to you,” followed by a question that ended up teasing her.

Maybe you’re thinking, “Roosh, but isn’t this more of direct game? I thought you only advocate indirect game.”

Saying you wanted to talk her is barely direct. It’s NOT like saying, “Actually I saw how beautiful you were and I just had to talk to you.” That’s too much.

If the girl is giving you a really strong vibe you can try this: “Actually I say you walking and just wanted to flirt with you.” She may get a warm-and-fuzzy feeling inside and think, “Yes! This random guy who I think I like probably likes me too.”

5. BUILD ATTRACTION. Once you are done with the segue, build the attraction a little more with teasing. Ask basic questions about herself or do guessing games like I did.

6. CLOSE. This is where you use your initial opener to close her. For example say it’s during the day and on your college campus you ask for the best place to have ice cream. When it’s time to close say, “Well I have to run, but how about some time soon we try so-and-so ice cream shop.”

If you asked her where there’s a good pizza place, then you would close by suggesting you two have pizza some time. It feels natural that you called back your opener. On this girl I used bars to open, so for me the close was asking to hang out for a drink.

It’s not a bad idea to go for the instant date if it seems like she doesn’t have anywhere to go. I asked my girl where she was headed and she said to meet up with friends, so I knew there would be no instant date option.

If your girl doesn’t seem to be doing anything then ask her if she wants to join you for the ice cream, the pizza, or the drink then and there. If she declines, say, “That’s fine, how about some other time?” and then take out your cell phone. If you’re talking to a girl for at least three minutes on the street and she asks you a question, you’d be a fool not to go for some sort of close. Just pull the trigger and ask her out.

This is as easy as it sounds. Now go out there and try it.

If you’re looking for some more help on approaches and how to build attraction, then I recommend my book Bang. It has 64 pages on Early Game that focus exclusively on the approach and what to say immediately after. I share dozens of conversation tips with tons of word-for-word examples, and I also teach you the concept of threads to keep the interaction going without having awkward silences. Click below to learn more about Bang today.

Is Your Venue Selection Flawed?

There’s only one way to find out if you’re method of finding girls is paying off, and that’s to look at your past results. I want you to take part in this exercise and open up a new spreadsheet in Excel.

On the first column list the bars or clubs you have frequented the most in the last four years, especially ones you’ve gotten laid from. If you have gotten laid from a non-alcoholic venue like a particular coffee shop then include that in the list too.

In the second column estimate as best as you can the number of times you’ve been to each place during those four years.

In the third column list the number of times you’ve banged a girl that you met at each venue.

Finally in the fourth column divide the two numbers to get a success rate percentage.

Is the highest percentage venue the one you go to most often?

Let’s take this a step further. In the fifth column put down a dollar amount that is your average cost for a night out at each venue.

In the sixth column multiply columns two and five to get total money spent.

Then lastly in the seventh column divide columns six and three, to get the average cost per notch from each venue. Surprised?

I lamented the close of Dragonfly, the Washington DC venue I banged quite a few of women at, but I’ve been so many times that turns out my success rate there was rather pitiful and my cost per notch astronomical at five times higher than the next best venue.

There is even a bar that is one of my current favorites that the numbers don’t justify I visit while a bar across the street that I often skip has yielded much better fruit.

Why do I continue to select venues against my best interests? I don’t know but the numbers don’t lie, no matter how much I think one place is better than the next.

While bars and clubs are the dominant venues I talk about my book Bang, in the Appendix I share advice on how to pick up girls in other situations like on the street, from a car, in a coffee shop, and in the gym.

Have you ever had the problem where you saw a girl you liked, but didn’t know how to have a conversation with her? Well that’s the exact problem Bang solves, by giving you tons of lines that you can use almost anywhere. If you’re looking for a game resource that helps you talk to women, then click here to read sample pages of Bang today.