Archive for the ‘Approaching’ Category:
If you’re like me, you’ve spent a lot of time in cities with droves of panhandling homeless people. In fact, for a significant part of my life, it’s been nearly impossible for me to get from Point A to Point B without being hit up for change at least once. Sometimes, I’d get asked for money by the same person on the way to my destination and on the return trip. With that much practice, one thing you get pretty good at doing is identifying the different techniques these guys use. There aren’t that many and, even when a guy is trying to be subtle about it, he usually telegraphs some sign that sets off your I’m-about-to-get-asked-for-money alert system.
Another area you hone is your arsenal of ways to say no. You can turn them down verbally, with a simple “sorry” or “I don’t have any” excuse; more gently, by giving a subtle “no” head-shake or shrugging-of-the-shoulders; or by preventing the interaction altogether, by speeding up or avoiding eye contact. Your skills improve with every solicitation. I had a friend who even figured out a way to stop his car just the right way at freeway entrances, so that when panhandlers approached his car, he could keep it crawling long enough for the light to turn green.
So what does all of this have to do with being a player?
I call it the homeless alarm. That same feeling you get when you absolutely know you’re about to get hit up for change by a homeless guy during the day—while just trying to go about your business—is the same feeling a cute girl gets when a “random guy” approaches her with low-quality or sloppy game. It doesn’t take much to set off that alarm and, because you can’t unring that bell, you want to avoid it at all costs. It automatically makes it a lot less likely that you’re going to get any “money” out of her.
Even if she’s pretty young, she’s lived with bad game for years, and pretty much knows all the common, lame approaches average guys use. And, just like my friend’s car-crawling technique, she’s developed a set of techniques of her own for dismissing each of them quickly or, in most cases, avoiding the situation entirely. Even when a guy tries to be subtle about these crappy moves, she instinctively knows he wants something from her, and that he has little to offer in return besides an extended, open hand. She may listen for two seconds, but she’s actively looking for a way to get out of the discussion.
So how do you avoid setting off the homeless alarm?
Top-notch day game hinges on subtlety. Approaching girls during the day isn’t the same as being in a nightclub, where being direct and to-the-point about your intentions is not usually a problem and, in fact, often gets you results. In a way, this is what makes day game easier. So much of being successful during the daytime is about being in a mindset that probably more closely resembles your natural state: just having a regular, innocent conversation with “no intentions” going in.
When you approach a girl during the day, you have to think like a panhandler trying to avoid the setting off that alarm with the same, tired, transparent techniques every other guy on your block uses to try to get people to give up the change. You don’t want to look or seem “homeless.” It’s a sad testament, but if a clean, cool, well-spoken guy came up to you, chatted you up naturally, made you laugh, and after a while said, “hey, man, can I bum fifty cents off of you? I just realized I’m a little short for a sandwich,” you’d probably give it to him.
Be that guy. Don’t set off a girl’s homeless alarm until well into your conversation, after she’s already comfortable with you. You’ll be surprised at the “change” you collect by the end of the day.
If a girl accuses you of using a line, especially right after your opener, she’s not going to fuck you. It simply won’t happen, no matter how much you think you can recover. It’d be like trying to sell an SUV to an environmentalist. Chances are she came out to make men feel small and get free drinks, so therefore you must go over the top and put that bitch in her place.
Here’s what you to say:
“Well it got me laid last week with some slut. I don’t see why it shouldn’t work again.”
Enjoy the embarrassed look on her face as she stews in silence trying to think of a comeback. Then turn your back on her. She’ll think twice before saying that nonsense to another man.
If she accuses you of using lines much later in the interaction, like at the 30 minute point or beyond, she’s telling you to “Be real.” You still got a shot.
Approaching is the hardest part of the game. There is nothing natural or easy about walking up to a girl you don't know and talking to her in a way that makes her laugh, builds attraction, and ends with her giving you her phone number.
After approaching hundreds of different girls with all types of openers, I finally settled on two that are my "defaults," meaning they are powerful enough that I can use them regardless of the girl or the environment. I share them in my book Bang, along with others you can use for bars, clubs, daytime spots, and even the gym. It has 64 pages on Early Game that focus exclusively on the approach and what to say immediately after. I share dozens of conversation tips with tons of word-for-word examples, and I also teach you the concept of threads to keep the interaction going without having awkward silences.
You can take the time to make up openers on your own, experimenting over the next several months, or you can learn mine and get started using something that works off the bat. If you want to learn my favorite natural openers that are easy to use and actually work, click here to learn more about my book Bang today.
When you’re on a date with a girl and another girl is peeping you, it’s hard to make because you don’t want to disrespect your current girl and not get laid for the night. But you also don’t have time to build a solid connection with the girl who is feeling you.
First, if you’re getting vibes from other girls, get your girl drunk so she’s oblivious to your moves.
Next, wait until your girl goes to the bathroom then approach the girl. Due to the time limitation we’re going direct.
“Hey I think you’re kind of cute. Do you like hairy men with beards?
Change “hairy men with beads” to a physical quality that you possess. Include a self-depreciative quality to tap her funny bone.
If you get a yes or maybe say, “Well I got some good news!”
Continue with, “Look so tonight I’m hanging out with my friend and she’s nice and all but she’s just a friend. I don’t have time to get to know you right now but do you want to grab a drink some time and talk? If after one drink we don’t get along then I’ll make an excuse about how my cat has a headache and then we go our separate ways.”
If she responds positively, say, “What’s your number?”
Sneak in a quick peck on the lips even though you act like you’re going to kiss her on the cheek. You must try to make some lip contact.
If your girl busts you say it’s an old college classmate and you didn’t want to be rude.
This doesn’t have a particular high success rate but it’s the best we can do given the situation. “Direct” openers tend to be less successful than not because you force the girl right then and there to decide if she likes you. In most cases I recommend you use “indirect” game where you don’t show your cards right away.
After trying dozens and dozens of different indirect openers, I finally settled on two that are my “defaults,” meaning they are powerful enough that I can use them regardless of the girl or the environment. I share them in my book Bang, along with others you can use for bars, clubs, daytime spots, and even the gym.
You can take the time to make up openers on your own, experimenting over the next several months, or you can learn mine and get started using something that works off the bat. If you want to learn my favorite natural openers that are easy to use and actually work, click here to learn about my book Bang today.
1. GET ON MULTIPLE SITES
Understand that every online dating site caters to a specific niche. Lavalife is for the young and hip, Match.com is for the mainstream crowd, eHarmony is for the religious, Craigslist is for the kinky, and so on. I guarantee that one site will be a lot more fruitful to you than others, so it’s important you get multiple profiles out there and measure which site gets the most responses. Otherwise you may be wasting your time on a site that doesn’t fit you best.
2. YOUR PHOTOS ARE THE KEY DETERMINANT TO HOW MANY DATES YOU GET
The pictures hold the key to whether a girl is going to read the rest of your profile. While women like to go off on a laundry list of qualities that include “sense of humor” and “kindness to animals,” they are almost as shallow as men when it comes to online dating. They sit back and watch the dozens of responses that come in and take their choice of the guys who look the best.
But how about if you’re not especially good looking? Then what you should do is upload photos that show one of the following qualities that women value:
Social proof. Upload pictures of you with other pretty women, which acts as a stamp of approval that you are accepted by the female race.
Adventurer. Share travel photos in exciting locations and in front of famous monuments. Other good photos are of you rock climbing, mountain biking, and bungee jumping.
Status. Here you want to upload photos of you with famous people or shots in the VIP section of fancy clubs, preferably in Las Vegas.
Don’t overdo it: only upload five photos maximum and keep the captions brief. You want the photos to act as bait so she asks questions about them.
3. LOG ON DAILY TO MESSAGE THE NEW GIRLS
You have to hit the sites every day to message new girls who aren’t already bitter and jaded dating experts. When a girl first signs up to a dating site she is optimistic and hopeful, giving chances to guys who she wouldn’t otherwise, so therefore you want to be one of her “firsts.” In the site’s dashboard organize women by how recently they signed up and message the new girls before any other.
4. HAVE A COCKY PROFILE
Girls want guys who are already getting girls, so the last thing you want to do is have a desperate vibe that reeks of no sex. When you’re writing your profile, here is the mindset that I want you to have:
“I’m already getting women, so this online dating thing isn’t important to me.”
Even if you aren’t getting women, you want to subconsciously broadcast that you already are, that you’re just experimenting and don’t take things too seriously. Therefore you need to come across as more cocky and aloof than other guys, as these things will be more powerful in attracting women.
These golden rules are all you need to know to get the ball rolling. Now it’s just a matter of making first contact. Experiment from sending smiley faces and simple hello’s to cocky messages like, “You seem like the type of girl who screens out guys all day waiting for Mr. Perfect.” Challenge them and when they respond get a conversation going. Ask them for a date after they start asking personal questions about you.
Honestly I never got deep into internet game. After college I was lucky to know a couple guys who were club rats and knew how to approach and game women in person. I started off copying their moves and lines and in the course of six years I developed a game on my own that consistently builds attraction (without having to go online).
I recorded my system into an affordable book that I call Bang. It has everything that I know about girls divided into five chapters of game: Internal, Early, Middle, Late, and End Game. I’ve always thought that meeting girls and getting to know them in the flesh is much better than copying and pasting messages on the internet.
I’m confident Bang is the only book you’ll ever need to read about sleeping with girls, and I completely back it up with a no-questions-asked money back guarantee. If you’ve ever spotted a girl you were attracted to and wondered how you could talk to her in a way that ends in sex, then Bang will help. Click here to read ten full-length sample pages of Bang today before grabbing your copy.